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thing of the day (thing+819)

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
figs and onions and cats eating all the Harold why did I say that why why why can't remember what came before how odd Hardold "har old" ""how odd""

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Grogu strolled confidently down Mos Espa main street, his huge green dong hanging proudly. "Where the human women at!" he shouted.

"Cough, wheeze," said Ahsoka Tano, now an old lady. "What happened to you, Grogu? You were such a good kid."

"I grew up, bitch!" said Grogu. "Get your lightsaber out."

"Where's yours?" asked Ahsoka, slowly lighting up her saber. It had been so long.

"Don't need one," said Grogu, cluching his huge green dong. "Harold."

"What did you say" asked Ahsoka.

"What, you deaf, biznatch?" asked Grogu. "Death is better than being deaf...which is what yo' ABOUT to be, yo!"

"I am one with the force, the force is with me," said Ahsoka, weakly, as Grogu lurched towards her dong first, an evil smile on his green face...

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Oh boy! Can't wait to see how that harold one turns out! but maybe you die before you find out. that's lief. you die at an moment. it doesn't matter. you could be in the middle of eating a big sandwich and then you are dead who is going to finish the sandwich then NO ONE THAT IS WHO does that seem right to you fucking sandwiches going unfished NO IT DOESN'T AAAAAARGH!

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"unfished"!?

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yes, we are all old. What if we could go back in time. what if we could loop our consciousnbessessesesessssss into our past bodies with our current knowledge and do things differently. of course it would be a crime against nature. if a character did this in a tv show they would be punished. but what if you did it enough times that you got it so perfect you could harold avoid all punishment. what if.

I donlkt now _______

oops did the lien int he rwrong wplace

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remember Jennifer Lien? I feel bad for her. She had problems. She did her best as Kes. She was very young. I know she flashed some kids or something harold. But come on. Working with Neelix would drive anyone to that!

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harremember when Trump was elect twice that was weirdold

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Charles Horse sat at this keyboard, trying to think of something to type. He'd just been lying in bed watching American Dad lately. He thought that would last forever, but evey long running animated shows stop eventually. Charles Horse felt sad. He decided to look up the actor who played Harold Bishop in Neighbours to see if he was still alive. He was! Charles smiled. A small victory.

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now I can't stop thinking about Harold Bishop!

And why would I want to.

Things were better back then.

At some point in the past.

When Harold and Lou were pimping hos, nationwide.

Roll a fatty for THIS Bish daddy!

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It's said that your brain just keeps getting worse. "evolution"? More like EVIL-ution! I think I just had an original thought. But it is too late ha ro ld now. I need to go back int ime. God, if you are listening, send me back int time now. Send me back int ime. Now. Send me back int ime. In time now. Now. Send mbe back in time. SEND ME BACK INT IME NOW. NOW.. THIS IS MOMENT OF TIME TRAVEL. NOW. I can make my female celeibryt list EVEN LONGER. NO. do something MEAINGFUL instead. Coin the word "evil-ution." THAT WILL CHANGE LIVES. "coin"? Why is it "coin"? "coin the phrase" what the fcuk. COIN? That's not what coin means. Did a time traveller do that. Is that a clue. Like in the Matrxi when Neo french kisses a black cat. And eats some figs and onions. IS THAT A CLUe. IS THAT A SIGN, GOD? that you are gooing to send me back int ime now. NOW. Sned me back in time NOW. when I finished this sentecne. NOW. GANGREL THE BROOD STEVE BLACKMAN TAKA MICHINOKU JUST JOE IS A SORRY SON OF A BITCH send me back int ime NOW figs and onions and cats sned me back in time NOW super nintendo eterntaiment DEATH send me back int ime NOW you irish nose picker!!!!!!!!!!

brb

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I feel it now. In my head. I feel myself about to leave this body. This life. It will end. I will go back and have a second chance. Maybe others have too like the guy who played Harold Bishop and the person who coined the word "coin" to mean that and why IT DOENS'T MEAN That stop getting upset. I feel it coming. Goodbye to this timeline! I don't know if there will be thing of the day in the new one. I just have to remember who I am and all that like Neo remembered the figs and cats and onions and Harodl Bishop and wait I'm forgetting I'm forgetting everyting don't send me back int ime yet I'll just loop forever in this single point pleas enot now no no noooooooooooooo...........
 
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Time travelers find it hard to grasp the mavity of the situation.

I've eaten my fair share of Death sandwiches. They are deathlicious with grave-y.
 
"Flogging the Bishop" is slang for wanking, but I can't think of any sex/penid-related puns involving "Harold"...

WAIT. There was a play written by Athol Fugard in the 80s whose title was quoted by Jack on Will & Grace to refer to male genitalia: "Master Harold and the Boys" NARF
 
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