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2016 Christmas Ads Reviewed

headvoid

headvoid

Can I have Ops?
Hello everyone,

It seems to be my duty to hog the minefield with my TV ad reviews. But hey, sue me. (Please don't)

So, here goes with the big ones coming out:

Tesco


I hate this family, but mainly I hate their "dads are useless" lazy thinking as played by British "comedian" Ben Miller. At least we get a real reaction based on thinking about the reality of Christmas and there is some product featured. 6 out of 10.

Morrisons


Lazy, lazy, lazy. If any creative tries to give me a 12 days of Christmas idea you generally take them out the back and shoot them. Half way through the ad they ditch that idea and just do the shots of the turkey and the sprouts. Kind of like Christmas ad painting by numbers. 1 out of 10

TK Maxx


These guys always do something just odd. I actually like the fact they have a random Black Grandpa (WTF? How did that happen?) Anyway, it is about surprises. I get the proposition - TK Maxx is full of random shit - got it. However it does look like the agency are just having fun and after they got it signed off all giggled and said "jesus they signed off the gargling one, holy fuck lets get pissed!"

Fair play to them I say. (there isn't any product though and it's a bit of a circle jerk of an ad)

I'll post more when I find them.
 
THIS THREAD IS WHAT I LIVE ANOTHER YEAR FOR.

I've already stated my hatred of those Tesco ads and that hasn't changed. That Morrisons ad IS really lazy and shit. I'm surprised TK Maxx is the best one so far. Fucking hipsters.

I haven't heard anything about the John Lewis ad yet. I'm predicting a heartbreaking animated tale of a cat and a dog in love. But the dog dies at the end.
 
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BUT THE MORRISONS AD IS ALL CHRISTMAS COOL BECAUSE THE KID IS A RINGER FOR RALPHIE FROM A CHRISTMAS STORY ALTHOUGH THEY MAKE NO OTHER REFERENCE TO IT LIKE A BB GUN OR A LEG LAMP YEAH IT'S SHIT.
 
Eggs Mayonnaise said:
BUT THE MORRISONS AD IS ALL CHRISTMAS COOL BECAUSE THE KID IS A RINGER FOR RALPHIE FROM A CHRISTMAS STORY ALTHOUGH THEY MAKE NO OTHER REFERENCE TO IT LIKE A BB GUN OR A LEG LAMP YEAH IT'S SHIT.
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It's like they had about 8 ideas and couldn't decide which one to go for. (I'm joking, but that is probably what happened). You will be pleased to know the ad industry types also agree it's utterly crap.
 
I'm happy that Furbies are back.

When did it become that everyone needed a Christmas advert? Like I understand shops having them, obviously, people shop a lot at Christmas. But why do phone companies need Christmas adverts? There's no connection between phones and Christmas!



Also didn't Vodafone have the really good "famly adopt a turky" ad last year? How is a bearded git in a jumper as appealing as a cute turkey?
 
Not trying to STEAL HEADVOID'S THUNDER (as if I coudl!), just posting this now so he can comment on it later.



I'm impressed they managed to spend seven million quid on that...
 
Sorry! I have been busy poisoning the airwaves with my own sorry excuses for adverts.

John Lewis has slightly failed to hit the mark with many of the ad industry. I particularly liked the quote from Simon Cowell (no relation) of the Wildlife Aid Foundation. "Great, now we will have to rescue pets from being thrown onto trampolines by idiots". Also noted is that hedgehogs hibernate in the winter and that Foxes normally have loud screaming sex at night, rifle through your bins and shit everywhere.

Also, who buys trampolines at Christmas really?

Anyway - by the same team (Adam&Eve) is the Waitrose ad - actually owned by John Lewis of course (hence the same ad agency).


Lovely little story all about one of the key early signs of Christmas (mince pie) - very sweet, but a little too much CGI for me (grinch I know) 9/10

I really like the Vodafone advert but it's completely false and fake so I am kind of breaking my own rules there - ho hum (or Ho ho hum lol)

And now for the shitfest!

3 and half fucking minutes of James Cocknob singing in some form of musical style that only exists in the head of the creatives. Not all of us have Dads (at all) and especially ones that create robots of ourselves putting people out of jobs at Xmas.

But mostly it's James Cocknob. Keep him America, I thought he wasn't coming back.

What happened to 30 seconds and maybe a minute for special times like this? Dicks. 2/10

But then someone does a good job and is winning hearts and minds - yes, our high street favourite M&S is back with something half decent.


Still fucking 3 minutes long though? What do ad creatives think they are? Frustrated film college dropouts.

The story is backed up with loads of red clothes in windows etc. I liked it - 8/10

Now onto Very - sometimes patchy but a good performance this year with real offer on gifting. at 1.30 not as self indulgent as others. Ok, but fucking CGI seems to be the order of the day and I like real people.


I'm going to give it 6/10
 
Not really a retailer but I have to mention this pile of steaming shite.

Burberry decided to spunk about a gazillion pounds on some well known actors and create a trailer for a film that doesn't exist. The whole ad industry went ballistic and said it was STORYTELLING OF THE HIGHEST ORDER and gave everyone a reach around in celebration.

They failed to see that if this was a film it looks a little hackneyed and boring. Who really sweeps papers off desks like that? People riding black horses with long black swirling coats? The antartic scenes are really crap, the love scenes look ridiculous. Everyone said OOOHHH LETS MAKE IT INTO A REAL FILM!!!

Let's not, let's not ever.
 
A lot of people like the Aldi advert. I inherently have a problem with cartoon characters being made out of Christmas foodstuffs.

The voiceover is nice. Well written as well. - I suppose I will give it 8/10 due to it's storytelling under a minute.

 
I agree with the general sentiment of 3 and a half minutes being too fucking long for an advert! Once they start approaching two minutes they should stop and ask themselves "are we just masturbating now?"

Waitrose one is good. Kind of captures the Planet Earth vibe where we're rooting for the little animal to survive, but without the ending where it's eaten by a cat.

ARGH, I saw that Sainsbury's shitstain on tv earlier and hated it and that was before I knew it was James Cockdeath singing. I WILL NEVER LIKE HIM.

Mrs. Clause is kind of hot.

The Very one is like an RPG where you're a girl with a heart companion who has to spread joy across a city? So that's nice.

I didn't even start playing the Burberry one.

I'm glad Aldi aren't just doing the "like this one!" thing anymore.
 
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I really like the M&S one. Not so keen on the John Lewis one, but maybe it's just a reaction to all the yearly hype. If it was the same ad for a different company I might like it more.

The Burberry thing was baffling. It basically seemed to be saying that anyone who wore his clothes ended up having a grisly death.
 
headvoid said:
A lot of people like the Aldi advert. I inherently have a problem with cartoon characters being made out of Christmas foodstuffs.

The voiceover is nice. Well written as well. - I suppose I will give it 8/10 due to it's storytelling under a minute.

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BUT THE CARROT GETS EATEN

Like that's not even the super-edgy "this is the real meaning of this lighthearted Christmas advert!" reading, it's literally there on the screen: The carrot is used as a treat for the reindeer, because the reindeer wants to eat it.
 
Fuddlemiff said:
The Burberry thing was baffling. It basically seemed to be saying that anyone who wore his clothes ended up having a grisly death.
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lol, I never saw that before but you are right! I can add that to some of my misplaced blog vitriol on the web that no one will read but will make me feel better about the world by shouting into the void / screaming into a pillow.

Happy Christmas!
 
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