30 years since my father passed.

[Archibald Nixon]

Anniversary's today.

Massive heart attack --in his sleep, mercifully. He was 48. Lifelong high blood pressure (high enough even at 18 to keep him from going to Korea) and chain smoking for decades will pretty much do that.

Feel oddly detached from the memory of it these days. My older brother is now older than my dad ever lived to, but in much better health so there's no real concern. His son is the same age I was when my dad died...weird confluences abound.

My own health isn't terrific, but I think I've smoked maybe 4 cigarettes in my whole life, so if I can just exercise more and lose 40 pounds I'll be much better off.

Gonna be rough on my mom...better call her tonight.

hwell:

 

[Ilyanna]

30 years is a long time, and I truly believe that while one never forgets or gets completely over the loss of a (beloved) parent, the pain usually fades with each passing year until it is just a memory (the occasional return once in a while to stab you in the back notwithstanding). As it should be, imo, because outliving our parents is the evolutionary norm, so we've developed mechanisms to cope.

Losing a partner, though - that pain can last (and keep being intense) as long as you live, at least from what I have seen.