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59 things that would have stayed secret
- Thread starter Tyrant
- Start date
The Harlot
New member
Bloody Sunday 
Starship Coyote
Original Gangster!
RobL said:Hey CU, you liking that .50 cal you picked up cheap?
I know the gunshop. It's in Little Rock.
I don't think it has it anymore... but it did back in the early 90s.
Ministers and MPs were claiming thousands of pounds on taxis as part of £5.9m in expenses for travel
- The BBC came under fire for the huge amount they spend on travel for guests to appear on their shows for the same reason. It seems insane when you could hire private drivers to cover all these expenses for far less than 6 million.
»The Thatcher Government concocted a plan to search for the Loch Ness monster using a team of dolphins
-It's always important to keep the real important stuff at the forefront of the government think-tank. Especially when you're taxing single mothers into oblivion. :roll:
»Foreign diplomats – who have diplomatic immunity – were accused of rapes, sexual assaults, child abuse and murders while working in Britain
-Well that's just sickening. Diplomatic immunity shouldn't extend to causing all out anarchy in the host nation. I imagine the beauracratic clusterfuck couldn't pass gas on any of these issues let alone any resolutions before the issue was swept under the rug and the offnders had returned tot heir countries of origin.
»The Government agreed a £1.5m bailout of one of the most troubled schools in its flagship city academies programme ten days before the 2005 general election
-Not surprising.
»People charged with certain criminal offences in Warwickshire are 30 per cent more likely to be convicted than those in Bedfordshire. The figures showed huge variations in performance of the Crown Prosecution Service
-Consistency has never been the forces forte.
»Politicians are spending £2.2bn a year of taxpayers’ money on private management consultants
-Whilst old ladies freeze to death because they can't afford heating bills.
»Ted Heath was once offered concert work by Idi Amin of Uganda. The eccentric dictator made his offer in a 1977 telegram
-He wanted the former Prime Minister to do what? Sing? WTF.
»Ian Huntley was officially “eliminated” as a suspect six days into the investigation into the Soham murders
-You have got to be fucking kidding me.
»Thousands of women are getting breast enlargements, tummy-tucks and nose jobs on the NHS
-Well this isn't news. In some cases cosmetic surgery on the NHS is warranted, though "thousands" is fucking pushing it.
»Tax inspectors are routinely offered bonuses to encourage them to collect as much money as possible
-Lend me a tenner, Gagh!
»Weapons used by paratroopers on Bloody Sunday have ended up in the hands of the army in Sierra Leone, paramilitary police in Beirut and even in an Arkansas gun shop
-This isn't a secret either. What is way more shocking is that an inquiry into three of the weapons that were used in the fatal killings were mysteriously destroyed before the inquiry could begin. It was blamed on a beauracratic fuck-up.
»Tony Blair spent nearly £2,000 of taxpayers' money on cosmetics over six years
-Meh. I don't see a problem with this. He has to represent the nation and appear in public all the time. 2k isn't a lot when you actually think about it.
»Seventy-four police officers serving with the Metropolitan Police have criminal records
-And waaaay more have military records. You're supposed to be unable to get a job in the force if you have a criminal record but due to shortages they make exceptions. Again, I don't see much of a problem with this. These crimes were commited when they were teenagers and as a result shouldn't necessarily void them for life.
»Senior civil servants in the Home Office were paid more than £2m in bonuses despite the scandals that have engulfed the department
-Back-handers for everybody!
»The Prime Minister wined and dined celebrities at the taxpayer’s expense at his country residence, Chequers. Guests included Esther Rantzen, Trevor Brooking, Elton John and Des O'Connor
-Wasting tax-payers money on Esther Rantzen? Shameful.
»Killings carried out by strangers have increased by a third since Tony Blair came to power
-Wow, what a straw man! - There are many factors to be taken into account as opposed to soley who happens to be in power.
»Government advice at the time of Prince Charles’s divorce from Diana suggested that his marriage to Camilla Parker Bowles would be illegal
-And when he becomes King he will be head of the Church of England. Making his divorce kinda funny.
»A clandestine British torture programme existed in postwar Germany, “reminiscent of the concentration camps”
-Shh!! History is written by the victors!
»Britain helped Israel to obtain its nuclear bomb 40 years ago, by selling it 20 tonnes of heavy water
-No surprise there.
»John Prescott met the US billionaire Philip Anschutz as the businessman’s representatives were aggressively lobbying the Department for Culture, Media and Sport over the progress of the gambling bill and plans to build a supercasino
-Yeah, turning Britian into a Gambling nation. What a wonderful idea. :roll:
»The NHS has been giving girls as young as 13 contraceptive injections and implants that make them infertile for up to three years, in an attempt to cut teenage pregnancies
-Bodge-it and scarper.
»The Prime Minister took trips costing more than £1.2m over four years from 2002 on RAF jets allocated to the Royal Family and government VIPs, including those for holidays abroad
-I imagine there are security issues at play here but still..
»Police in England and Wales spend £21m a year on interpreters
-I need to pick up a copy of Arabic for Dummies. Looks like there is good money to be made!
»Britain has extradited four times as many people to the US as have been sent in return since the introduction of fast-track extradition
-America has more room and can treat them worse. Seems like a good idea.
»More than 1,000 girls aged 14 and under had abortions in a single year
-Sluts.
»Alastair Campbell thought that it was a “barmy” idea for Tony Blair to appear on the Simpsons show in 2003, but that Mr Blair could be seen to “seize any opportunity to promote Britain”
-It was three lines.
»The Metropolitan Police spent £900,000 policing illegal street meetings by the cleric Abu Hamza and his followers
-Should of thrown him in Daycar... umm..prison ages ago.
»The Yorkshire Ripper probably committed more crimes than the 13 murders and seven attempted murders for which he was convicted
-No doubt. Whats the point?
»Six British military policemen died at the hands of an Iraqi mob in Majar al-Kabir because nearby reinforcements decided it was too dangerous to rescue them
-What a pussy brigade. They should talk to the guys who strapped themselves to the outside of a helicopter and flew into enemy territory to drag out one of their fallen comrades under heavy gunfire in Afghanistan earlier this year.
»Health tourists received free NHS kidney treatment worth about £30,000 a year, potentially competing with British patients for scarce transplants
-This is beyond cuntish. But how do you deal with a problem like this!?
»DNA tests showed that, since 1998, 3,034 men had been wrongly named by mothers as fathers of children for whom they had claimed maintenance. The taxpayer had to repay these sums
-We all know men get shafted when it comes to women with a vendetta.
»Robert Maxwell was being investigated for war crimes and was to be interviewed by police just before he drowned
-War crimes?! LMFAO. Someone tell Anne Robinson that even drowning this old fuck won't stop him being a cunt!
»In 2004 the BBC paid £15.5m in staff bonuses when it was planning to cut more than 3,000 jobs
-Pyramid of power.
»Rich landowners top the league of EU farm subsidy payouts
-*backs slowly away from the farmers disputes with the government*
»The railway stations that provide the worst facilities for passengers were revealed in a National Audit Office document
-And let me guess.. Nothing was done.
»More than 300 babies a year are being left with brain damage because of oxygen starvation caused by lack of proper care at birth
-The entire NHS is oxygen starved. Unravelling the damage that Thatcher did to healthcare is probably going to take another 20 years.
»Countries with poor human rights records and those on the front line in the War on Terror, including Iraq, were targeted by the Ministry of Defence as the most lucrative places for British arms companies to sell weapons
-You were expecting a sense of ethical morality from the MoD?
»Weapons and ammunition are being smuggled into Britain by coalition forces returning from war zones
-How big could this problem possibly be though.
»Restaurants belonging to Britain's leading fast-food chains were branded “extremely poor” by health inspectors
-Well I'm just shocked!
»Ministers were given prior warning that a postal voting scandal was looming just before local polls that sparked claims of stolen votes
-Don't worry. Big Brother will distract the nation for you.
»John Birt, Tony Blair's key adviser in Downing Street, identified the abolition of National Service as a significant factor in the “exponential” rise in crime over the past 50 years
-That and there being no good wars for a while to really sink the nations young lads into.
»Illegal immigrants are getting into Britain by enrolling on university courses, obtaining visas and then failing to turn up to study
-Someone have the fucking balls to fix all these loop-holes. Cunts.
»A former No 10 adviser lobbied the Government to relax gambling laws and pave the way for valuable casino contracts on behalf of Kerry Packer, the Australian billionaire
-Turning Britian into a gambling nation. They've been trickling these legislations in for years now. It's a big thing on their agenda.
»Cherie Blair became the first Prime Minister's spouse to be given a government car and driver for her personal use
-And Downing Street has been gated off and has 24/7/365 mega-security around it since 9/11. Security issues have a lot to do with this.
»A cache of more than 300 weapons, including air pistols, swords and an improvised flame-thrower, were seized from schoolchildren in one year
-Would of been more than 300 if I was still at school. Boys will be boys.
»Police were instructed to let off offenders with a caution if they commit any one of more than 60 types of crime, ranging from assault to some types of theft, criminal damage and underage sex.
-Welcome to the true reason for crime increase. The lax hand of the law. Prison overcrowding and expense in prosecuting means you can get away with all types of shit.
»More than 700 nurses and doctors were disciplined for drink or drugs at work in the past ten years
-Not surprising.
»Plans to turn Britain into a “world leader” in internet gambling were drawn up by ministers
-Yes. We know. You've told us enough times now.
»In one year hundreds of 10»year»old children were charged with crimes including serious sexual offences, robbery, actual bodily harm and assaulting a police officer
-ASBO chav fuckers. The juvenile court system needs to be overhauled as well.
»Lord Falconer was dragged into a dispute over plans for a supercasino at the Millennium Dome when it emerged he had met representatives of the US billionaire behind the venture 13 times
-*sigh*
»Two hundred serving police officers have criminal records for offences that include assault, breach of the peace, theft and vandalism.
-Now we're just repeating ourselves.
»Documents suggested that one in 15 officers has broken the law
-.....
The full extent of the damage caused by “Black Wednesday”, when in 1992 Britain fell out of the ERM, was revealed
Thatcher. The Exchange Rate Mechanism was abysmal.
»Humphrey, the Downing Street cat who mysteriously disappeared in 1997, had not been put down but had been sent to “a stable home environment where he can be looked after properly”
-Umm... OK!?
»Documents from the mid1980s showed how Mark Thatcher was paid commission for a Middle East building contract for which his mother had lobbied
-Both he and his mother should be locked in Pinochets mausoleum and left there.
»Previously secret health inspections of some of Britain’s most prestigious restaurants revealed criticisms of some of those run by Heston Blumenthal, Gordon Ramsay and Raymond Blanc
-GET YOUR FUCKING TITS OFF THE HOTPLATE.
»1980s school dinners could be the cause of three young Welsh people’s deaths from the human form of mad cow disease
-And?
»The Elgin Marbles were damaged by two schoolboys fighting in the British Museum in 1961. One of the boys fell and knocked off part of a centaur's leg
-LOL.
»Some NHS dentists earn up to £250,000 a year in fees, as demand for those who have remained in the public sector increases
-250k? ... for fucks sake.
»Greg Dyke asked to be reinstated as Director»General of the BBC a week after he was sacked over the Hutton report
-Pissing into the wind!
- The BBC came under fire for the huge amount they spend on travel for guests to appear on their shows for the same reason. It seems insane when you could hire private drivers to cover all these expenses for far less than 6 million.
»The Thatcher Government concocted a plan to search for the Loch Ness monster using a team of dolphins
-It's always important to keep the real important stuff at the forefront of the government think-tank. Especially when you're taxing single mothers into oblivion. :roll:
»Foreign diplomats – who have diplomatic immunity – were accused of rapes, sexual assaults, child abuse and murders while working in Britain
-Well that's just sickening. Diplomatic immunity shouldn't extend to causing all out anarchy in the host nation. I imagine the beauracratic clusterfuck couldn't pass gas on any of these issues let alone any resolutions before the issue was swept under the rug and the offnders had returned tot heir countries of origin.
»The Government agreed a £1.5m bailout of one of the most troubled schools in its flagship city academies programme ten days before the 2005 general election
-Not surprising.
»People charged with certain criminal offences in Warwickshire are 30 per cent more likely to be convicted than those in Bedfordshire. The figures showed huge variations in performance of the Crown Prosecution Service
-Consistency has never been the forces forte.
»Politicians are spending £2.2bn a year of taxpayers’ money on private management consultants
-Whilst old ladies freeze to death because they can't afford heating bills.
»Ted Heath was once offered concert work by Idi Amin of Uganda. The eccentric dictator made his offer in a 1977 telegram
-He wanted the former Prime Minister to do what? Sing? WTF.
»Ian Huntley was officially “eliminated” as a suspect six days into the investigation into the Soham murders
-You have got to be fucking kidding me.
»Thousands of women are getting breast enlargements, tummy-tucks and nose jobs on the NHS
-Well this isn't news. In some cases cosmetic surgery on the NHS is warranted, though "thousands" is fucking pushing it.
»Tax inspectors are routinely offered bonuses to encourage them to collect as much money as possible
-Lend me a tenner, Gagh!
»Weapons used by paratroopers on Bloody Sunday have ended up in the hands of the army in Sierra Leone, paramilitary police in Beirut and even in an Arkansas gun shop
-This isn't a secret either. What is way more shocking is that an inquiry into three of the weapons that were used in the fatal killings were mysteriously destroyed before the inquiry could begin. It was blamed on a beauracratic fuck-up.
»Tony Blair spent nearly £2,000 of taxpayers' money on cosmetics over six years
-Meh. I don't see a problem with this. He has to represent the nation and appear in public all the time. 2k isn't a lot when you actually think about it.
»Seventy-four police officers serving with the Metropolitan Police have criminal records
-And waaaay more have military records. You're supposed to be unable to get a job in the force if you have a criminal record but due to shortages they make exceptions. Again, I don't see much of a problem with this. These crimes were commited when they were teenagers and as a result shouldn't necessarily void them for life.
»Senior civil servants in the Home Office were paid more than £2m in bonuses despite the scandals that have engulfed the department
-Back-handers for everybody!
»The Prime Minister wined and dined celebrities at the taxpayer’s expense at his country residence, Chequers. Guests included Esther Rantzen, Trevor Brooking, Elton John and Des O'Connor
-Wasting tax-payers money on Esther Rantzen? Shameful.
»Killings carried out by strangers have increased by a third since Tony Blair came to power
-Wow, what a straw man! - There are many factors to be taken into account as opposed to soley who happens to be in power.
»Government advice at the time of Prince Charles’s divorce from Diana suggested that his marriage to Camilla Parker Bowles would be illegal
-And when he becomes King he will be head of the Church of England. Making his divorce kinda funny.
»A clandestine British torture programme existed in postwar Germany, “reminiscent of the concentration camps”
-Shh!! History is written by the victors!
»Britain helped Israel to obtain its nuclear bomb 40 years ago, by selling it 20 tonnes of heavy water
-No surprise there.
»John Prescott met the US billionaire Philip Anschutz as the businessman’s representatives were aggressively lobbying the Department for Culture, Media and Sport over the progress of the gambling bill and plans to build a supercasino
-Yeah, turning Britian into a Gambling nation. What a wonderful idea. :roll:
»The NHS has been giving girls as young as 13 contraceptive injections and implants that make them infertile for up to three years, in an attempt to cut teenage pregnancies
-Bodge-it and scarper.
»The Prime Minister took trips costing more than £1.2m over four years from 2002 on RAF jets allocated to the Royal Family and government VIPs, including those for holidays abroad
-I imagine there are security issues at play here but still..
»Police in England and Wales spend £21m a year on interpreters
-I need to pick up a copy of Arabic for Dummies. Looks like there is good money to be made!
»Britain has extradited four times as many people to the US as have been sent in return since the introduction of fast-track extradition
-America has more room and can treat them worse. Seems like a good idea.
»More than 1,000 girls aged 14 and under had abortions in a single year
-Sluts.
»Alastair Campbell thought that it was a “barmy” idea for Tony Blair to appear on the Simpsons show in 2003, but that Mr Blair could be seen to “seize any opportunity to promote Britain”
-It was three lines.
»The Metropolitan Police spent £900,000 policing illegal street meetings by the cleric Abu Hamza and his followers
-Should of thrown him in Daycar... umm..prison ages ago.
»The Yorkshire Ripper probably committed more crimes than the 13 murders and seven attempted murders for which he was convicted
-No doubt. Whats the point?
»Six British military policemen died at the hands of an Iraqi mob in Majar al-Kabir because nearby reinforcements decided it was too dangerous to rescue them
-What a pussy brigade. They should talk to the guys who strapped themselves to the outside of a helicopter and flew into enemy territory to drag out one of their fallen comrades under heavy gunfire in Afghanistan earlier this year.
»Health tourists received free NHS kidney treatment worth about £30,000 a year, potentially competing with British patients for scarce transplants
-This is beyond cuntish. But how do you deal with a problem like this!?
»DNA tests showed that, since 1998, 3,034 men had been wrongly named by mothers as fathers of children for whom they had claimed maintenance. The taxpayer had to repay these sums
-We all know men get shafted when it comes to women with a vendetta.
»Robert Maxwell was being investigated for war crimes and was to be interviewed by police just before he drowned
-War crimes?! LMFAO. Someone tell Anne Robinson that even drowning this old fuck won't stop him being a cunt!
»In 2004 the BBC paid £15.5m in staff bonuses when it was planning to cut more than 3,000 jobs
-Pyramid of power.
»Rich landowners top the league of EU farm subsidy payouts
-*backs slowly away from the farmers disputes with the government*
»The railway stations that provide the worst facilities for passengers were revealed in a National Audit Office document
-And let me guess.. Nothing was done.
»More than 300 babies a year are being left with brain damage because of oxygen starvation caused by lack of proper care at birth
-The entire NHS is oxygen starved. Unravelling the damage that Thatcher did to healthcare is probably going to take another 20 years.
»Countries with poor human rights records and those on the front line in the War on Terror, including Iraq, were targeted by the Ministry of Defence as the most lucrative places for British arms companies to sell weapons
-You were expecting a sense of ethical morality from the MoD?
»Weapons and ammunition are being smuggled into Britain by coalition forces returning from war zones
-How big could this problem possibly be though.
»Restaurants belonging to Britain's leading fast-food chains were branded “extremely poor” by health inspectors
-Well I'm just shocked!
»Ministers were given prior warning that a postal voting scandal was looming just before local polls that sparked claims of stolen votes
-Don't worry. Big Brother will distract the nation for you.
»John Birt, Tony Blair's key adviser in Downing Street, identified the abolition of National Service as a significant factor in the “exponential” rise in crime over the past 50 years
-That and there being no good wars for a while to really sink the nations young lads into.
»Illegal immigrants are getting into Britain by enrolling on university courses, obtaining visas and then failing to turn up to study
-Someone have the fucking balls to fix all these loop-holes. Cunts.
»A former No 10 adviser lobbied the Government to relax gambling laws and pave the way for valuable casino contracts on behalf of Kerry Packer, the Australian billionaire
-Turning Britian into a gambling nation. They've been trickling these legislations in for years now. It's a big thing on their agenda.
»Cherie Blair became the first Prime Minister's spouse to be given a government car and driver for her personal use
-And Downing Street has been gated off and has 24/7/365 mega-security around it since 9/11. Security issues have a lot to do with this.
»A cache of more than 300 weapons, including air pistols, swords and an improvised flame-thrower, were seized from schoolchildren in one year
-Would of been more than 300 if I was still at school. Boys will be boys.
»Police were instructed to let off offenders with a caution if they commit any one of more than 60 types of crime, ranging from assault to some types of theft, criminal damage and underage sex.
-Welcome to the true reason for crime increase. The lax hand of the law. Prison overcrowding and expense in prosecuting means you can get away with all types of shit.
»More than 700 nurses and doctors were disciplined for drink or drugs at work in the past ten years
-Not surprising.
»Plans to turn Britain into a “world leader” in internet gambling were drawn up by ministers
-Yes. We know. You've told us enough times now.
»In one year hundreds of 10»year»old children were charged with crimes including serious sexual offences, robbery, actual bodily harm and assaulting a police officer
-ASBO chav fuckers. The juvenile court system needs to be overhauled as well.
»Lord Falconer was dragged into a dispute over plans for a supercasino at the Millennium Dome when it emerged he had met representatives of the US billionaire behind the venture 13 times
-*sigh*
»Two hundred serving police officers have criminal records for offences that include assault, breach of the peace, theft and vandalism.
-Now we're just repeating ourselves.
»Documents suggested that one in 15 officers has broken the law
-.....
The full extent of the damage caused by “Black Wednesday”, when in 1992 Britain fell out of the ERM, was revealed
Thatcher. The Exchange Rate Mechanism was abysmal.
»Humphrey, the Downing Street cat who mysteriously disappeared in 1997, had not been put down but had been sent to “a stable home environment where he can be looked after properly”
-Umm... OK!?
»Documents from the mid1980s showed how Mark Thatcher was paid commission for a Middle East building contract for which his mother had lobbied
-Both he and his mother should be locked in Pinochets mausoleum and left there.
»Previously secret health inspections of some of Britain’s most prestigious restaurants revealed criticisms of some of those run by Heston Blumenthal, Gordon Ramsay and Raymond Blanc
-GET YOUR FUCKING TITS OFF THE HOTPLATE.
»1980s school dinners could be the cause of three young Welsh people’s deaths from the human form of mad cow disease
-And?
»The Elgin Marbles were damaged by two schoolboys fighting in the British Museum in 1961. One of the boys fell and knocked off part of a centaur's leg
-LOL.
»Some NHS dentists earn up to £250,000 a year in fees, as demand for those who have remained in the public sector increases
-250k? ... for fucks sake.
»Greg Dyke asked to be reinstated as Director»General of the BBC a week after he was sacked over the Hutton report
-Pissing into the wind!