A Decent Proposal...

[Volpone]

OK. So. Coronavirus. Much scarier than if we called it "the flu." Is actually starting to cripple the economy as places are ordered to close and people aren't getting a paycheck. And futile. Because you know where there's a fuck-ton of people? The supermarket. The TP aisle in particular. And it isn't like you can say supermarkets must remain closed for 8 weeks. Except maybe in Utah. I covet Mitt Romney's presupposed 1 year stash of TP. But I digress. The point is, these actions are expensive, disruptive, and ultimately futile. BUT! There is another option:

Just expose EVERYONE to the coronavirus. All at once. BAM! Natural selection in its purest form. Yes, some of the old or young and the weak and unfit won't make it. But that's OK. The planet's overcrowded anyways. And the ones who will die are the ones that are the biggest drain on society as it is. (Thanos was the hero in the Marvel films, BTW.) There's no need to hoard TP. Or buy masks or gloves or hand sanitizer because everyone's already been exposed. No need to cancel gatherings or close businesses for the same reason. And the whole thing runs its course in what, 8 weeks? Instead of playing months and months of carrier Patient Zero whack-a-mole.

I'm not seeing a downside.

 

[Mirah]

You can fuck off with that kind of talk.

 

[Mirah]

I get that you are joking and this is a troll board, but did you not read the check in thread where some people were pretty open about their situation. So yeah, please fuck off with this kind of talk.
Basically all of my older relatives would die, some pregnant people I know could die, people I know who are sick. Yeah, they are a real drain. Not. You are.

 

[Mirah]

I probably over reacted and everyone will laugh at me now. And then say, "Dude chill out"

 

[Starship Coyote]

I probably over reacted and everyone will laugh at me now. And then say, "Dude chill out"

Trolled.

 

[Volpone]

For the record, the thread title is a riff on both the 1980s Demi Moore movie "Indecent Proposal," where a newlywed gets offered $1,000,000 to screw a rich dude and, more importantly, Swift's "A Modest Proposal," advocating cannibalism as, IIRC, a solution to the famine in Ireland.

 

[Volpone]

That said, it isn't like failing to implement my final solution would spare the elderly. We all die eventually. Shit, I could get hit by a car tomorrow. But for the elderly, it's getting down to the wire anyway. Is it worth global economic catastrophe to keep gramma on her ventilator in the nursing home alive for an extra day?

 

[Loktar]

That said, it isn't like failing to implement my final solution would spare the elderly. We all die eventually. Shit, I could get hit by a car tomorrow. But for the elderly, it's getting down to the wire anyway. Is it worth global economic catastrophe to keep gramma on her ventilator in the nursing home alive for an extra day?

You obviously don't have any elderly relatives you give a shit about. Its killing me that I cant visit my 83 year old Dad in the nursing home. I would never want him to die sooner from the coronavirus. He has non aggressive leukemia and I'm going to cherish whatever time I have left with him. Also my mom died almost 6 years ago. I wouldn't wish she had died of the coronavirus. I wish she was still alive and that I had spent more time with her and treated her nicer.

 

[The Question]

99% of my family are unsalvageable shitheels. I still wouldn't want them to catch COVID-19, though. Not because I give a damn about them, but because I don't. This post alone is more conscious thought than they deserve to have allocated to them; no need to wish them the gift of release from the mortal coil.

 

[Starship Coyote]

You obviously don't have any elderly relatives you give a shit about. Its killing me that I cant visit my 83 year old Dad in the nursing home. I would never want him to die sooner from the coronavirus. He has non aggressive leukemia and I'm going to cherish whatever time I have left with him. Also my mom died almost 6 years ago. I wouldn't wish she had died of the coronavirus. I wish she was still alive and that I had spent more time with her and treated her nicer.

What color of dress do you wear when you visit him?

Do you wear heels or sensible flats?

 

[Mirah]

For the record, the thread title is a riff on both the 1980s Demi Moore movie "Indecent Proposal," where a newlywed gets offered $1,000,000 to screw a rich dude and, more importantly, Swift's "A Modest Proposal," advocating cannibalism as, IIRC, a solution to the famine in Ireland.

Mansplainer

 

[Mirah]

That said, it isn't like failing to implement my final solution would spare the elderly. We all die eventually. Shit, I could get hit by a car tomorrow. But for the elderly, it's getting down to the wire anyway. Is it worth global economic catastrophe to keep gramma on her ventilator in the nursing home alive for an extra day?

Did you not read the whole post? Anyone with a compromised immune system, this includes pregnant people, anyone who just had a surgery or a cold even and others who are not neccesarily elderly.

You are dead to me now Troll!!!

 

[Starship Coyote]

When the Lamb broke the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth living creature saying, "Come." I looked, and behold, an ashen horse; and he who sat on it had the name Death; and Hades was following with him. Authority was given to them over a fourth of the earth, to kill with sword and with famine and with pestilence and by the wild beasts of the earth.
— Revelation 6:7–8

 

[The Question]

Are we counting red haired women among the 'wild beasts of the earth'?

Asking for a friend.

 

[Loktar]

What color of dress do you wear when you visit him?

Do you wear heels or sensible flats?

Dad doesn't know about my crossdressing. And I intend to keep it that way.

 

[Volpone]

OK. Instead, have we considered just shooting anyone infected in the head before they can spread it to others? I've been waiting at least 30 years to execute my Zombie Apocalypse Plan and this may be my best shot.

 

[The Question]

It's not Captain Trips. At worst, it's slightly nastier than the basic flu and old age/immunocompromize/pre-existing complications can kick it up to being as bad as SARS but not as bad as MERS. What's likely to amplify it being deadly is the media-driven hysteria over it causing a shutdown of supply of basic necessities and Black-Friday-All-Week-Long violence at retailers by dumb hogs who should know better.

Maybe this makes the human race drift toward being Vulcans. Global-level embarrassment at how easily we can be emotionally manipulated into doing stupid shit, and handshakes being replaced by the Hebrew hand greeting.

 

[Volpone]

...Maybe this makes the human race drift toward being Vulcans. ...

If this happens, I shall buy you a fine lobster dinner. We shall just slip further into Idiocracy and any lessons that could have been learned will be lost on the next petty, idiotic and venal crisis. /bergman/

 

[jack]

K'plah

 

[Ancalagon]

For the record, the thread title is a riff on both the 1980s Demi Moore movie "Indecent Proposal," where a newlywed gets offered $1,000,000 to screw a rich dude and, more importantly, Swift's "A Modest Proposal," advocating cannibalism as, IIRC, a solution to the famine in Ireland.

Swift’s A Modest Proposal is a good shoutout as it was an indictment of the vulture capitalism of the time. See even during the ‘famine’ (it was a blight on one crop, potatoes) Ireland was a net exporter of food. It’s just that all the good land was owned by absentee English landlords (we’ll call them the 1%) who were using it for wheat they then sold either in the ‘home market’ (England, not Ireland) or abroad.

If you read it you’ll notice how it wasn’t just the selling of babies to the rich as delicacies, but the usage of other body parts (such as skin for leather) that the Irish could use to bootstrap themselves out of poverty.