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A very short story.

The Dork Lord

Whipping Boy
Chester woke up one morning and decided he wanted to blow up the world.

He wasn't quite sure why he wanted to, he didn't have any strong motives or a well thought out plan; it just seemed like an interesting way to kill some time.

It did take time, and a lot of money, but Chester finally figured out a way to do it.

Chester would use high powered Alaskan oil drills to bore his way into the center of the Earth, and then detonate the thirty-seven nuclear warheads he'd bought on ebay.

He couldn’t remember if he’d gotten the idea from a cartoon or a Bond movie, but he was pretty sure that would do it.

Chester sometimes worried that people might discover what he wanted to do, and try to stop him.

For this reason he left no record of his plans, and took pains to disguise his labors as a legitimate oil rig.

He now had under him hundreds of employees who had no idea what there hard work would soon accomplish.

Chester had no friends or family, no wife or children. He had no interests, save for his one goal, and took no pleasure in women, food, or any of the other things his money could have brought to him.

Chester only wanted one thing, the destruction of the planet.

And he would have it soon.

One evening, while young lovers walked home from the movies, and little kids tried to get out of washing the dishes, Chester blew up the world.
 
bad-dog.jpg

Imagine chester's horror, when in the middle of his great moment, his dog walked into the room.
 
Now you know why nobody likes you. You finally know how it feels when we're put down by the man. You deserve your muting for your faggot tree. You're a bad person and you know it. You know you deserve to die. The world would be a much better place without you. No one will ever love you. No one will acknowledge your existence. You will be miserable and alone for all of eternity. You are everyone's enemy. You can never belong. You are the very reason that bad things happen to all of us. You deserve to die.

Know why?

Because you are the fucking devil himself.

Now leave everyone alone, and die like the pathetic dog that you are, you piece of shit.
 
It's quite possible.

Chester loved dogs.

But he was afraid of ever having a dog again.

When he was a little boy, he had a golden retriever named Shelby.

Shelby got rabies and had to be put down.

After that, Chester would pet other people's dogs...

but he couldn't bring himself to have a dog of his own after that.
 
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