WWE Armageddon PPV report
by Dave Meltzer
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Welcome to our live coverage of Armageddon tonight from the Dunkin Donuts Center in Providence, RI.
We're looking for your thoughts on tonight's show, so you can leave a thumbs up, thumbs down or thumbs in the middle along with a best and worst match to
[email protected].
Jamie Noble vs. Funaki is the Heat match. As good a match as you're going to get in 3:30 with Noble winning with a dragon sleeper via submission.
JBL vs. Matt Hardy opens the show. JBL won what was really a fairly quick squash match after a clothesline. Hardy only got one 30 second or so comeback spot the entire match. I don't know what was said, but there was a fan at ringside who must have really gotten under JBL's skin because at the finish out of nowhere he flipped the fan off and you could see he was not happy about something.
Crazy & Psicosis told Melina they'd cancel the match if she did for them what she did for Batista.
MNM vs. Mexicools is up next. MNM won with the snapshot on Super Crazy. They played this up like it sets up a rematch with Batista & Mysterio. A little rough, but good. Crowd got into it as it went on.
Chris Benoit vs. Booker T was next. They are teasing problems with Sharmell and Kristal Marshall. They had the best match so far in the series. Benoit survived tons of interference from Sharmell, and delivered tons of suplexes, got a tap from a sharpshooter during a ref bump sequence, before finally winning with the crossface to close the gap to 3-1.
Teddy Long and Palmer Canon are out. Canon called out Santa Claus, and it was Vito as evil Santa and Nunzio as an elf. They wanted a tag title match and a cruiserweight title match, but Canon said he had a present for them, and it was the Boogey Man. Boogey Man cleaned house on Nunzio, gave Vito a pump handle slam. He then opened up Vito's Santa bag and it had thousands of worms. He then pulled out what looked like 100 plus worms and shoved them down Vito's mouth. There are thousands of worms on the mat right now, a few alive and tons looking dead. This company continually comes up with new levels when it comes to creative punishment of people who don't know "locker room etiquette."
Bobby Lashley vs. William Regal & Paul Birchall is up next. Crowd was totally dead, even for Lashley's comeback, winning with a dominator on Birchall. Birchall looked good but it was lost on the crowd and seems lost on the promotion.
Josh was at the Friendly Tap, which is Tim White's bar. They had Tim portrayed as an old drunk who wouldn't speak. Aha, but Tim White had a career ending shoulder injury in a hell in a cell match with HHH vs. Chris Jericho. The story is Hell in a Cell ruins lives. Hell in a Cell ruined his life. His wife left him. His family doesn't talk to him. His friends don't talk to him. Yes, Tim had to say he has irritable bowel syndrome. Well, you know when you sign up you check your dignity at the door. Tim White pulled out a rifle and they are pretending he's committing suicide. A gunshot went off. You could hear the crowd booing the hell out of this. Wow, was that ever awful. This almost single handledly ruined what has been a good show so far.
Juventud vs. Kid Kash is next. Kash won the title after a brainbuster after Juventud missed a somersault legdrop off the top rope. This was one of the best matches you'll ever see a crowd crap on in history. They worked stiff, Kash did a hell of a job in controlling things, and the people were dead. About the only noise was "end this match" after a few minutes, "boring" after Juventud did a dive and booing every near fall being kicked out of because it wasn't over. This match would have torn the house down at a TNA show.
This year's Royal Rumble commercials are the McMahons as ancient Romans. Bizarre but kind of funny.
Batista & Mysterio vs. Show & Kane is next. Kane pinned Mysterio clean with a choke slam in a short match. This made no sense on many levels, particularly since Batista & Mysterio have something special as a team.
Since the Benoit match ended, this has been a major downer.
Undertaker vs. Orton Hell in a Cell is up to either make the save or put the exclamation point in the night. Long match. Undertaker, Bob Orton, Randy Orton and Nick Patrick all ended up bloody. Very good match, nowhere near the level of the famous Hell in a Cells.. Orton even got a near fall after using a tombstone piledriver on Undertaker. Patrick was carted out. Charles Robinson was attacked by Bob Orton as he tried to make a count after Bob (who juiced while outside the cell)got in the cell. Undertaker used the urn on both Bob and Randy, the tombstone on Bob and Randy, and got the pin on Randy.
Thanks for joining us.
