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Ask eloisel, or not

eloisel

eloisel

Forever Empress E
Since there are so many of these threads, thought I'd start my own. Ask me anything you want, or not, but don't expect me to give you the answer that you want me to.
 
Sarek said:
What would be your method of choice to off MessengerX?
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I like to go swimming on Saturday mornings. I put on my old lady swimsuit and tights, drive across town and jump around in a pool with a bunch of other old ladies for an hour. An aquaintance of mine, younger and in such better shape, asked to go with me. She needed some exercise and figured if I could do aqua aerobics so could she. She lasted about 15 minutes then she was begging and crying to get out of the pool. I sent her pansy ass on to the showers. Really. If a person can't take the pool, then they shouldn't get into the water.

I like water. I think if I had had another child, I would have given birth to that child using the immersed in water method.

As MX is a grown person, I would choose rebirth for him. Perhaps he would be a bit wet behind the ears when the deed was done, but he'd be all bright, shiny and new again too. Like we all were, once upon a time.
 
MessengerX said:
Is Sarek a wee bit preoccupied with me, along with Gagh and jack?
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I was on a 100 mile bus trip once. It was a nice bus. The seats were cushy and reclined enough to allow me to nap comfortably. There were TV/VCR combo units attached to the roof so we could watch a movie if we wanted. The 40 other occupants on the bus were friends of mine - all good cooks - and we had a feast like you wouldn't believe. Problem was we were going on a gambling junket - no stops. Shouldn't have been a problem because the bus had a toilet in the back. Only every time I went to use the toilet, somebody else was in there. About 75 miles on the road my bladder was about to burst and all that good food was anxious to exit my person. Finally, I banged on the toilet door - "I'm sorry, but I've really got to use the toilet," I cried. No answer. "Please, hurry!" No answer, no sound. A lady sitting in the back said, "Just go on in. The 'occupied' sign is broken - no one is in there."

I've heard it said, and I know it is true, time is relative to what side of the bathroom door you are on. I'm guessing that goes the same for occupation - pre and post.
 
MessengerX said:
Who's 'ask me' thread is the best?
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I spent many years in the printing industry as a typesetter, pasteup artist, camera operator, negatives stripper, platemaker, printer, bindery operator, shipper, and as an all around stuff person. I traveled around for awhile and took whatever job I could get - long story. The last 5 years I was in the industry, my job was "expediter" - meaning, when it had to absolutely be done now and done right it was my crew's job from intake to putting it on the truck. With my long history and varied experience, I was the team leader. I'd worked in print shops where men have said stuff to me like, "This is the kind of work that separates the boys from the girls" and I had to show them just how stupid a thought that was. I truly appreciated that my crew, 9 big guys, always did exactly what I told them, without argument. For years, I thought it was because my team was sharp and shared my belief that the best way to get anything done is to just start doing it. Then one of my guys told me the reason why they did whatever I said and it went something like this: "No matter how crazy it sounds, you are always right."

So, while some people will give you answers to questions, I've got a proven track record of knowing what I'm talking about, no matter how crazy it sounds, and I've got 9 big, sharp guys who agree with me.
 
jack said:
Is it faster to go to New York, or by train?
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When I was a kid, there was a little train that ran on the tracks running through the middle of my town. It was an old timey train, and didn't go very fast, but it had a conductor and shades on the windows. The only trip it made was to Pony Express Junction and back. I imagine it was a commuter type train originally but wound up being an excursion for children in its waning years. The trip was never about speed but about the journey and the destination.

While I've traveled in the U.S. more than some, there are still many states I've yet to explore. If I were to go to New York, I think I would travel by car and take my time. As I've come to learn over the years, I may never pass that way again so I'd better enjoy it while I'm there. I've also learned, it isn't the speed with which I get there that matters as much as the speed with which I can get back home.
 
If a man is standing in the woods alone talking to himself and there isn't a woman around for 500 miles, is he still wrong?

(Yes, I know. I'm asking a woman. Like we don't already know the answer. ):P
 
jack said:
Is it hotter in the spring, or in the country?
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There is an old story about some people living out in the country during a hot summer during the Depression Era. Everybody was sitting out on the porch because it was too hot in the house, and they were fanning themselves, drinking iced lemonade, and not moving too much because it was just too hot. In other words, they were bored. A young man came down the road, walked up to the people on the porch, tried to strike up a conversation with them and discovered not only were they bored, they were boring. Finally, he said, "I'll jump in your cess pool for a quarter." Well, the people on the porch thought that would be a right funny thing to see and well worth a quarter so they dug around for change until they had the price. The young man jumped into the cess pool, got out and the people on the porch gave him the quarter then went back to sitting on the porch. Much to their chagrin, the young man joined them on the porch. With it being a very hot day to begin with, and the young man being fresh from the cess pool, he was pretty stanky ripe. Pretty soon the people on the porch were wanting their new friend to leave and asked him, no, demanded he do so. He said, "It was a quarter for me to jump into the cess pool. It'll be $25 dollars to get me to leave."
 
Sarek said:
If a man is standing in the woods alone talking to himself and there isn't a woman around for 500 miles, is he still wrong?

(Yes, I know. I'm asking a woman. Like we don't already know the answer. ):P
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The smartest man, and happiest man too, that I know always says "I'm sorry" to his wife when anything goes wrong. He is smart because he realizes we (meaning women in general) know that it is not "his" fault that it is raining outside and messed up our new shoes or our hair. We know it isn't "his" fault that the tile needs to be replaced or that the car broke down. We know that there is very little that is "his" fault. What we like is that he takes responsibility for it, no matter what it is. It's raining and will mess up our hair or shoes? "He" goes out and gets the car and drives up to the doorstep for us so we don't get messed up. The tile needs to be replaced? "He" does it or hires someone to do it while letting us make a fuss over the color and kind of tile. The car breaking down? Again, "he" fixes it or sees to it that it is repaired. He just does these things and if he doesn't believe we appreciate it, he should hear the things we say about him to our friends, family, and co-workers. "He's just the sweetest, nicest man." What did he do? "He put new tile in the kitchen!" "He fixed the flat tire on the car." And, while it is true that we can do these things ourselves or we can pay someone to do it, we like that our guy does it because it makes him our hero in our eyes. While that may not mean much to some guys, to others, when they've had that day at work where everybody is up their butt or thinks they are stupid and can't do anything right, when they go home they know there is someone there who thinks they are just the best.
 
jack said:
Why can't Messenger X ride a tricycle?
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I was going to tell a story about how every kid in the neighborhood had every kind of cool toy there ever was while I had very few. My parents weren't poor, it was just my mother thought I should do other things with my free time - like read and use my imagination. As I've been reading since I was four, I've read a great deal. As much as I enjoy reading, there are other things I would like to have spent some time on, like learning how to work one of those hoola hoop things. Anyhow, I never had a tricycle. One can't ride what one doesn't have. However, the cool banana seat Stingray bicycle my dad got for me so I could participate in a bicycle ride with the rest of my Girl Scout troop was a big highlight of my childhood.
 
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