Buttmunkey
Fletcher... Felcher... WHATEVER!!
The last thing I wanted to do this Saturday night was spend several hours writing, editing, and typing this letter. However, I needed to do it, because it's sincerely the best way to make technical preparations for the achievement of freedom and human independence. I would like to start by discussing Mr. Dog felcher Buzz Bunny's philippics, mainly because they scare me. The thing I'm the most frightened about is that Mr. Buzz Bunny is addicted to the feeling of power, to the idea of controlling people. Sadly, he has no real concern for the welfare or the destiny of the people he desires to lead. There's something severely wrong with this picture. Then again, that notion has been popular for as long as propagandism has existed.
If we take Mr. Buzz Bunny's beliefs to their logical conclusion, we see that before long, Mr. Buzz Bunny will lower this country's moral tone and depreciate its commercial integrity. Trying to put the foxes in charge of guarding the henhouse is just as appalling as trying to place our children at imminent risk of serious harm. But there's the rub; he wants to create a global workers plantation overseen by transnational corporations who have no more concern for the human rights of those who produce their products or services than Mr. Buzz Bunny has for his cohorts. Personally, I don't want that. Personally, I prefer freedom. If you also prefer freedom, then you should be working with me to encourage our spirits to soar. In keeping with all of their inner ignominious brutality, his followers make self-satisfied kooks out to be something they're not. As everyone knows, Mr. Buzz Bunny is dead set on defending his position against what I have to say, regardless of what I have to say. What you might not know, however, is that if he doesn't realize that it's generally considered bad style to ignore compromise and focus solely on his personal agenda, then he should read one of the many self-help books on the subject. I recommend he buy one with big print and lots of pictures. Maybe then, Mr. Buzz Bunny will grasp the concept that his conjectures are not our only concern. To state the matter in a few words, I'm not very conversant with his background. To be quite frank, I don't care to be. I already know enough to state with confidence that you should never forget the three most important facets of Mr. Buzz Bunny's sophistries, namely their recalcitrant origins, their internal contradictions, and their tendentious nature.
In asserting that if he kicks us in the teeth, we'll then lick his toes and beg for another kick, he demonstrates an astounding narrowness of vision. We must reach out to people with the message that Mr. Buzz Bunny needs to step out of the dark ages. We must alert people of that. We must educate them. We must inspire them. And we must encourage them to take up the mantle and complain about the worst kinds of untrustworthy pillocks there are. Those of us who are still sane, those of us who still have a firm grip on reality, those of us who still insist that the intent of this letter is certainly not hatred, but a probing look into an obviously significant issue, have an obligation to do more than just observe what he is doing from a safe distance. We have an obligation to bear witness to the plain, unvarnished truth. We have an obligation to make a cause célèbre out of exposing his taradiddles for what they really are. And we have an obligation to keep our courage up.
Mr. Buzz Bunny's maledicent past resonates in his current crusades. And I can say that with a clear conscience because Mr. Buzz Bunny's ebullitions are a mere cavil, a mere scarecrow, one of the last shifts of a desperate and dying cause. Mr. Buzz Bunny has certainly never given evidence of thinking extensively. Or at all, for that matter. He keeps saying that a book of his writings would be a good addition to the Bible. Isn't that claim getting a little shopworn? I mean, if mysticism were an Olympic sport, he would clinch the gold medal. Mr. Buzz Bunny is right about one thing, namely that fear is what motivates us. Fear of what it means when putrid dunderheads monopolize the press. Fear of what it says about our society when we teach our children that the kids on the playground are happy to surrender to the school bully. And fear of pernicious ochlocrats like Mr. Buzz Bunny who numb the public to the ruffianism and injustice in mainstream politics.
Mr. Buzz Bunny appears to have found a new tool to use to help him inaugurate an era of execrable egotism. That tool is charlatanism, and if you watch him wield it, you'll certainly see why there are some frowzy guttersnipes who are uncivilized. There are also some who are antisocial. Which category does Mr. Buzz Bunny fall into? If the question overwhelms you, I suggest you check "both". If you want to hide something from him, you just have to put it in a book. Mr. Buzz Bunny's practices are a conduit that funnels raving thoughts into the heads of the worst classes of negligent schizophrenics there are. To be more pedantic about it, it's irrelevant that my allegations are 100% true. Mr. Buzz Bunny distrusts my information and arguments and will forever maintain his current opinions. Everybody loves a good game of hide-and-seek: find the person, find the hidden item, or, in Mr. Buzz Bunny's case, find the hidden agenda. His perspective is that "the norm" shouldn't have to worry about how the exceptions feel. My perspective, in contrast, is that I can't possibly believe Mr. Buzz Bunny's claim that taxpayers are a magic purse that never runs out of gold. If someone can convince me otherwise, I'll eat my hat. Heck, I'll eat a whole closetful of hats. That's a pretty safe bet because when I observe Mr. Buzz Bunny's bedfellows' behavior, I can't help but recall the proverbial expression, "monkey see, monkey do". That's because, like him, they all want to reduce religion to a consumer item in a spiritual supermarket. Also, while a monkey might think that at birth, every living being is assigned a celestial serial number or frequency power spectrum, the fact remains that it is not news that I intend to exercise my franchise to open minds instead of closing them. What speaks volumes, though, is that Mr. Buzz Bunny is not just intransigent. He is unbelievably, astronomically intransigent.
Sure, we could just sit back and let Mr. Buzz Bunny supplant one form of injustice with another, but that prospect really grates on people who have any kind of common sense. He's planning to exploit issues such as the global economic crisis and the increase in world terrorism in order to instigate planet-wide chaos. Planet-wide chaos is Mr. Buzz Bunny's gateway to global tyranny, which will in turn enable him to reduce human beings to the status of domestic animals. I don't care what others say about him. Mr. Buzz Bunny's still otiose, obnoxious, and he intends to do the entire country a grave disservice. Mr. Buzz Bunny's incorrigible game of chess -- the mischievous chess of favoritism -- has continued for far too long. It's time to checkmate this dotty flag burner and show him that unlike him, when I make a mistake I'm willing to admit it. Consequently, if -- and I'm bending over backwards to maintain the illusion of "innocent until proven guilty" -- Mr. Buzz Bunny were not actually responsible for trying to deploy enormous resources in a war of attrition against helpless citizens, then I'd stop saying that as our society continues to unravel, more and more people will be grasping for straws, grasping for something to hold onto, grasping for something that promises to give them the sense of security and certainty that they so desperately need. These are the types of people Mr. Buzz Bunny preys upon. I know some grumpy clowns who actually believe that Mr. Buzz Bunny is always being misrepresented and/or persecuted. Incredible? Those same people have told me that without his superior guidance, we will go nowhere. With such people roaming about, it should come as no surprise to you that Mr. Buzz Bunny upholds sin as sacred. It's that simple.
I am not concerned with rumors or hearsay about Mr. Buzz Bunny. I am interested only in ascertained facts attested by published documents, and in these primarily as an illustration that we must remove our chains and move towards the light. (In case you didn't understand that analogy, the chains symbolize Mr. Buzz Bunny's viperine wheelings and dealings, and the light represents the goal of getting all of us to clean up the country and get it back on course again.) Prurient slubberdegullions may endanger our property or our security or our economic well-being, but Mr. Buzz Bunny endangers our souls. He is still going around insisting that all major world powers are controlled by a covert group of "insiders". Jeez, I thought I had made it perfectly clear to him that I deeply believe that it's within our grasp to summon up the courage to pronounce the truth and renounce the lies. Be grateful for this first and last tidbit of comforting news. The rest of this letter will center around the way that we should not concern ourselves with Mr. Buzz Bunny's putative virtue or vice. Rather, we should concern ourselves with our own welfare and with the fact that I frequently talk about how I disagree both with Mr. Buzz Bunny's point and with the way he makes it. I would drop the subject, except that I receive a great deal of correspondence from people all over the world. And one of the things that impresses me about it is the massive number of people who realize that he seems to have recently added the word "internationalization" to his otherwise simplistic vocabulary. I suppose Mr. Buzz Bunny intends to use big words like that to obscure the fact that sometime in the future he will deface property with racially and sexually derogatory epithets and offensive symbols. Fortunately, that hasn't happened...yet. But it will unquestionably happen if we don't celebrate knowledge and truth for the sake of knowledge and truth. None but the conniving can deny that if I had to choose between chopping onions and helping Mr. Buzz Bunny bad-mouth worthy causes, I'd be in the kitchen in an instant. Although both alternatives make me cry, the deciding factor for me is that Mr. Buzz Bunny decries or dismisses capitalism, technology, industrialization, and systems of government borne of Enlightenment ideas about the dignity and freedom of human beings. These are the things that he fears, because they are wedded to individual initiative and responsibility. Quite frankly, he has a glib proficiency with words and very sensitive nostrils. Mr. Buzz Bunny can smell money in your pocket from a block away. Once that delicious aroma reaches his nostrils, he'll start talking about the joy of factionalism and how the boogeyman is going to get us if we don't agree to his demands. As you listen to Mr. Buzz Bunny's sing-song, chances are you won't even notice his hand as it goes into your pocket. Only later, after you realize you've been robbed, will you truly understand that I've known some ex-cons who were impressively stinking. However, Mr. Buzz Bunny is fatuitous, and that trumps stinking every time. If we are powerless to expose some of his foul-mouthed, macabre deeds, it is because we have allowed Mr. Buzz Bunny to rob us of our lives, our health, our honor, and our belongings.
It's possible that Mr. Buzz Bunny doesn't realize this because he has been ingrained with so much of cameralism's propaganda. If that's the case, I recommend that we recognize and respect the opinions, practices, and behavior of others. He is bad enough when he's alone, but Mr. Buzz Bunny is even worse when he's joined by manipulative finks. When I say that just because you can do something does not mean it's okay to do it, this does not, I repeat, does not mean that people don't mind having their communities turned into war zones. This is a common fallacy held by revolting freaks of nature.
Now, I am all for freedom of speech, but some people think I'm exaggerating when I say that I, not being one of the many neo-brusque libertines of this world, am interested in facts, not in paregoric for Mr. Buzz Bunny's fans. But I'm not exaggerating; if anything, I'm understating the situation. I am not a robot. I am a thinking, feeling, human being. As such, I get teary-eyed whenever I see Mr. Buzz Bunny dismantle national civil rights organizations by driving a wedge between the leaders and the rank-and-file members. It makes me want to clarify and correct some of the inaccuracies present in his criticisms, which is why I'm so eager to tell you that Mr. Buzz Bunny has been a faithful servant of slimy interests for as long as I can remember. Yes, I could add that he is a small part of a large movement that seeks to impede the free flow of information, but I wanted to keep my message simple and direct. I didn't want to distract you from the main thrust of my message, which is that Mr. Buzz Bunny is stepping over the line when he attempts to condone illegal activities -- way over the line.
The basal lie that underlies all of Mr. Buzz Bunny's pompous, dodgy op-ed pieces is that granting him complete control over our lives is as important as breathing air. Translation: Honesty and responsibility have no cash value and are therefore worthless. I doubt you need any help from me to identify the supreme idiocy of those views, but you should nevertheless be aware that the best thing about Mr. Buzz Bunny is the way that he encourages us to confront and reject all manifestations of narcissism. No, wait; Mr. Buzz Bunny doesn't encourage that. On the contrary, he discourages us from admitting that what I find frightening is that some academics actually believe his line that he is omnipotent. In this case, "academics" refers to a stratum of the residual intelligentsia surviving the recession of its demotic base, not to those seekers of truth who understand that Mr. Buzz Bunny controls a secret underground empire. If you find that fact distressing then you should help me stand by our principles and be true to them on all occasions, in all places, against all foes, and at whatever cost. Either that, or you can crawl into a corner and lament that you got yourself born in the wrong universe. Don't expect your sobbing to do much good, however, because there's a time to keep silent and a time to speak. There's a time to love and a time to hate. There's a time for war and a time for peace. And, I think, there's a time to change the minds of those who twist the truth. Or, to put it less poetically, I cannot compromise with Mr. Buzz Bunny; he is without principles. I cannot reason with him; he is without reason. But I can warn him, and with a warning he must definitely take to heart: Mr. Buzz Bunny has stated that truth is merely a social construct. That's just pure hooliganism. Well, in Mr. Buzz Bunny's case, it might be pure ignorance, seeing that my cause is to give the needy a helping hand, as opposed to an elbow in the face. I call upon men and women from all walks of life to support my cause with their life-affirming eloquence and indomitable spirit of human decency and moral righteousness. Only then will the whole world realize that Mr. Buzz Bunny is trying to besmirch the memory of some genuine historic figures. His mission? To hurt people's feelings. Certainly, like a verbal magician, Mr. Buzz Bunny knows how to lie without appearing to be lying, how to bury secrets in mountains of garbage-speak. I want to talk about the big picture: the natural result of his disquisitions is an intolerance that, in the long run, tends to waste our time and money. I submit that everyone should stop and mull that assertion. Then, you'll understand why the net effect of Mr. Buzz Bunny's circulars will be a generation of kids who are unable to read, write, or distinguish good from evil. There's nothing controversial about that view. It's a fact, pure and simple. It was a fact long before anyone realized that Mr. Buzz Bunny once tried convincing me that he has the trappings of deity. Does he think I was born yesterday? I mean, it seems pretty obvious that lackadaisical ideas are continually escaping the confines of Mr. Buzz Bunny's (obviously very weak) mind. But you knew that already. So let me add that I must admit that I've read only a small fraction of Mr. Buzz Bunny's writings. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I've read enough of Mr. Buzz Bunny's writings to know that because of Mr. Buzz Bunny's obsession with prætorianism, honest people will admit that there are a number of conceptual, logical, and methodological flaws in his belief systems. Concerned people are not afraid to resolve a number of lingering problems. And sensible people know that Mr. Buzz Bunny's lamentations are a load of bunk. I use this delightfully pejorative term, "bunk" -- an alternative from the same page of my criminal-slang lexicon would serve just as well -- because there's an important difference between me and Mr. Buzz Bunny. Namely, I am willing to die for my cause. Mr. Buzz Bunny, in contrast, is willing to kill for his -- or, if not to kill, at least to rebrand local churches as faith-based emporia teeming with impulse-buy items. If we intend to defend democracy, we had best learn to recognize its primary enemy and not be afraid to stand up and call him by name. That name is Mr. Dog felcher Buzz Bunny.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If we take Mr. Buzz Bunny's beliefs to their logical conclusion, we see that before long, Mr. Buzz Bunny will lower this country's moral tone and depreciate its commercial integrity. Trying to put the foxes in charge of guarding the henhouse is just as appalling as trying to place our children at imminent risk of serious harm. But there's the rub; he wants to create a global workers plantation overseen by transnational corporations who have no more concern for the human rights of those who produce their products or services than Mr. Buzz Bunny has for his cohorts. Personally, I don't want that. Personally, I prefer freedom. If you also prefer freedom, then you should be working with me to encourage our spirits to soar. In keeping with all of their inner ignominious brutality, his followers make self-satisfied kooks out to be something they're not. As everyone knows, Mr. Buzz Bunny is dead set on defending his position against what I have to say, regardless of what I have to say. What you might not know, however, is that if he doesn't realize that it's generally considered bad style to ignore compromise and focus solely on his personal agenda, then he should read one of the many self-help books on the subject. I recommend he buy one with big print and lots of pictures. Maybe then, Mr. Buzz Bunny will grasp the concept that his conjectures are not our only concern. To state the matter in a few words, I'm not very conversant with his background. To be quite frank, I don't care to be. I already know enough to state with confidence that you should never forget the three most important facets of Mr. Buzz Bunny's sophistries, namely their recalcitrant origins, their internal contradictions, and their tendentious nature.
In asserting that if he kicks us in the teeth, we'll then lick his toes and beg for another kick, he demonstrates an astounding narrowness of vision. We must reach out to people with the message that Mr. Buzz Bunny needs to step out of the dark ages. We must alert people of that. We must educate them. We must inspire them. And we must encourage them to take up the mantle and complain about the worst kinds of untrustworthy pillocks there are. Those of us who are still sane, those of us who still have a firm grip on reality, those of us who still insist that the intent of this letter is certainly not hatred, but a probing look into an obviously significant issue, have an obligation to do more than just observe what he is doing from a safe distance. We have an obligation to bear witness to the plain, unvarnished truth. We have an obligation to make a cause célèbre out of exposing his taradiddles for what they really are. And we have an obligation to keep our courage up.
Mr. Buzz Bunny's maledicent past resonates in his current crusades. And I can say that with a clear conscience because Mr. Buzz Bunny's ebullitions are a mere cavil, a mere scarecrow, one of the last shifts of a desperate and dying cause. Mr. Buzz Bunny has certainly never given evidence of thinking extensively. Or at all, for that matter. He keeps saying that a book of his writings would be a good addition to the Bible. Isn't that claim getting a little shopworn? I mean, if mysticism were an Olympic sport, he would clinch the gold medal. Mr. Buzz Bunny is right about one thing, namely that fear is what motivates us. Fear of what it means when putrid dunderheads monopolize the press. Fear of what it says about our society when we teach our children that the kids on the playground are happy to surrender to the school bully. And fear of pernicious ochlocrats like Mr. Buzz Bunny who numb the public to the ruffianism and injustice in mainstream politics.
Mr. Buzz Bunny appears to have found a new tool to use to help him inaugurate an era of execrable egotism. That tool is charlatanism, and if you watch him wield it, you'll certainly see why there are some frowzy guttersnipes who are uncivilized. There are also some who are antisocial. Which category does Mr. Buzz Bunny fall into? If the question overwhelms you, I suggest you check "both". If you want to hide something from him, you just have to put it in a book. Mr. Buzz Bunny's practices are a conduit that funnels raving thoughts into the heads of the worst classes of negligent schizophrenics there are. To be more pedantic about it, it's irrelevant that my allegations are 100% true. Mr. Buzz Bunny distrusts my information and arguments and will forever maintain his current opinions. Everybody loves a good game of hide-and-seek: find the person, find the hidden item, or, in Mr. Buzz Bunny's case, find the hidden agenda. His perspective is that "the norm" shouldn't have to worry about how the exceptions feel. My perspective, in contrast, is that I can't possibly believe Mr. Buzz Bunny's claim that taxpayers are a magic purse that never runs out of gold. If someone can convince me otherwise, I'll eat my hat. Heck, I'll eat a whole closetful of hats. That's a pretty safe bet because when I observe Mr. Buzz Bunny's bedfellows' behavior, I can't help but recall the proverbial expression, "monkey see, monkey do". That's because, like him, they all want to reduce religion to a consumer item in a spiritual supermarket. Also, while a monkey might think that at birth, every living being is assigned a celestial serial number or frequency power spectrum, the fact remains that it is not news that I intend to exercise my franchise to open minds instead of closing them. What speaks volumes, though, is that Mr. Buzz Bunny is not just intransigent. He is unbelievably, astronomically intransigent.
Sure, we could just sit back and let Mr. Buzz Bunny supplant one form of injustice with another, but that prospect really grates on people who have any kind of common sense. He's planning to exploit issues such as the global economic crisis and the increase in world terrorism in order to instigate planet-wide chaos. Planet-wide chaos is Mr. Buzz Bunny's gateway to global tyranny, which will in turn enable him to reduce human beings to the status of domestic animals. I don't care what others say about him. Mr. Buzz Bunny's still otiose, obnoxious, and he intends to do the entire country a grave disservice. Mr. Buzz Bunny's incorrigible game of chess -- the mischievous chess of favoritism -- has continued for far too long. It's time to checkmate this dotty flag burner and show him that unlike him, when I make a mistake I'm willing to admit it. Consequently, if -- and I'm bending over backwards to maintain the illusion of "innocent until proven guilty" -- Mr. Buzz Bunny were not actually responsible for trying to deploy enormous resources in a war of attrition against helpless citizens, then I'd stop saying that as our society continues to unravel, more and more people will be grasping for straws, grasping for something to hold onto, grasping for something that promises to give them the sense of security and certainty that they so desperately need. These are the types of people Mr. Buzz Bunny preys upon. I know some grumpy clowns who actually believe that Mr. Buzz Bunny is always being misrepresented and/or persecuted. Incredible? Those same people have told me that without his superior guidance, we will go nowhere. With such people roaming about, it should come as no surprise to you that Mr. Buzz Bunny upholds sin as sacred. It's that simple.
I am not concerned with rumors or hearsay about Mr. Buzz Bunny. I am interested only in ascertained facts attested by published documents, and in these primarily as an illustration that we must remove our chains and move towards the light. (In case you didn't understand that analogy, the chains symbolize Mr. Buzz Bunny's viperine wheelings and dealings, and the light represents the goal of getting all of us to clean up the country and get it back on course again.) Prurient slubberdegullions may endanger our property or our security or our economic well-being, but Mr. Buzz Bunny endangers our souls. He is still going around insisting that all major world powers are controlled by a covert group of "insiders". Jeez, I thought I had made it perfectly clear to him that I deeply believe that it's within our grasp to summon up the courage to pronounce the truth and renounce the lies. Be grateful for this first and last tidbit of comforting news. The rest of this letter will center around the way that we should not concern ourselves with Mr. Buzz Bunny's putative virtue or vice. Rather, we should concern ourselves with our own welfare and with the fact that I frequently talk about how I disagree both with Mr. Buzz Bunny's point and with the way he makes it. I would drop the subject, except that I receive a great deal of correspondence from people all over the world. And one of the things that impresses me about it is the massive number of people who realize that he seems to have recently added the word "internationalization" to his otherwise simplistic vocabulary. I suppose Mr. Buzz Bunny intends to use big words like that to obscure the fact that sometime in the future he will deface property with racially and sexually derogatory epithets and offensive symbols. Fortunately, that hasn't happened...yet. But it will unquestionably happen if we don't celebrate knowledge and truth for the sake of knowledge and truth. None but the conniving can deny that if I had to choose between chopping onions and helping Mr. Buzz Bunny bad-mouth worthy causes, I'd be in the kitchen in an instant. Although both alternatives make me cry, the deciding factor for me is that Mr. Buzz Bunny decries or dismisses capitalism, technology, industrialization, and systems of government borne of Enlightenment ideas about the dignity and freedom of human beings. These are the things that he fears, because they are wedded to individual initiative and responsibility. Quite frankly, he has a glib proficiency with words and very sensitive nostrils. Mr. Buzz Bunny can smell money in your pocket from a block away. Once that delicious aroma reaches his nostrils, he'll start talking about the joy of factionalism and how the boogeyman is going to get us if we don't agree to his demands. As you listen to Mr. Buzz Bunny's sing-song, chances are you won't even notice his hand as it goes into your pocket. Only later, after you realize you've been robbed, will you truly understand that I've known some ex-cons who were impressively stinking. However, Mr. Buzz Bunny is fatuitous, and that trumps stinking every time. If we are powerless to expose some of his foul-mouthed, macabre deeds, it is because we have allowed Mr. Buzz Bunny to rob us of our lives, our health, our honor, and our belongings.
It's possible that Mr. Buzz Bunny doesn't realize this because he has been ingrained with so much of cameralism's propaganda. If that's the case, I recommend that we recognize and respect the opinions, practices, and behavior of others. He is bad enough when he's alone, but Mr. Buzz Bunny is even worse when he's joined by manipulative finks. When I say that just because you can do something does not mean it's okay to do it, this does not, I repeat, does not mean that people don't mind having their communities turned into war zones. This is a common fallacy held by revolting freaks of nature.
Now, I am all for freedom of speech, but some people think I'm exaggerating when I say that I, not being one of the many neo-brusque libertines of this world, am interested in facts, not in paregoric for Mr. Buzz Bunny's fans. But I'm not exaggerating; if anything, I'm understating the situation. I am not a robot. I am a thinking, feeling, human being. As such, I get teary-eyed whenever I see Mr. Buzz Bunny dismantle national civil rights organizations by driving a wedge between the leaders and the rank-and-file members. It makes me want to clarify and correct some of the inaccuracies present in his criticisms, which is why I'm so eager to tell you that Mr. Buzz Bunny has been a faithful servant of slimy interests for as long as I can remember. Yes, I could add that he is a small part of a large movement that seeks to impede the free flow of information, but I wanted to keep my message simple and direct. I didn't want to distract you from the main thrust of my message, which is that Mr. Buzz Bunny is stepping over the line when he attempts to condone illegal activities -- way over the line.
The basal lie that underlies all of Mr. Buzz Bunny's pompous, dodgy op-ed pieces is that granting him complete control over our lives is as important as breathing air. Translation: Honesty and responsibility have no cash value and are therefore worthless. I doubt you need any help from me to identify the supreme idiocy of those views, but you should nevertheless be aware that the best thing about Mr. Buzz Bunny is the way that he encourages us to confront and reject all manifestations of narcissism. No, wait; Mr. Buzz Bunny doesn't encourage that. On the contrary, he discourages us from admitting that what I find frightening is that some academics actually believe his line that he is omnipotent. In this case, "academics" refers to a stratum of the residual intelligentsia surviving the recession of its demotic base, not to those seekers of truth who understand that Mr. Buzz Bunny controls a secret underground empire. If you find that fact distressing then you should help me stand by our principles and be true to them on all occasions, in all places, against all foes, and at whatever cost. Either that, or you can crawl into a corner and lament that you got yourself born in the wrong universe. Don't expect your sobbing to do much good, however, because there's a time to keep silent and a time to speak. There's a time to love and a time to hate. There's a time for war and a time for peace. And, I think, there's a time to change the minds of those who twist the truth. Or, to put it less poetically, I cannot compromise with Mr. Buzz Bunny; he is without principles. I cannot reason with him; he is without reason. But I can warn him, and with a warning he must definitely take to heart: Mr. Buzz Bunny has stated that truth is merely a social construct. That's just pure hooliganism. Well, in Mr. Buzz Bunny's case, it might be pure ignorance, seeing that my cause is to give the needy a helping hand, as opposed to an elbow in the face. I call upon men and women from all walks of life to support my cause with their life-affirming eloquence and indomitable spirit of human decency and moral righteousness. Only then will the whole world realize that Mr. Buzz Bunny is trying to besmirch the memory of some genuine historic figures. His mission? To hurt people's feelings. Certainly, like a verbal magician, Mr. Buzz Bunny knows how to lie without appearing to be lying, how to bury secrets in mountains of garbage-speak. I want to talk about the big picture: the natural result of his disquisitions is an intolerance that, in the long run, tends to waste our time and money. I submit that everyone should stop and mull that assertion. Then, you'll understand why the net effect of Mr. Buzz Bunny's circulars will be a generation of kids who are unable to read, write, or distinguish good from evil. There's nothing controversial about that view. It's a fact, pure and simple. It was a fact long before anyone realized that Mr. Buzz Bunny once tried convincing me that he has the trappings of deity. Does he think I was born yesterday? I mean, it seems pretty obvious that lackadaisical ideas are continually escaping the confines of Mr. Buzz Bunny's (obviously very weak) mind. But you knew that already. So let me add that I must admit that I've read only a small fraction of Mr. Buzz Bunny's writings. (As a well-known aphorism states, it is not necessary to eat all of an apple to learn that it is rotten.) Nevertheless, I've read enough of Mr. Buzz Bunny's writings to know that because of Mr. Buzz Bunny's obsession with prætorianism, honest people will admit that there are a number of conceptual, logical, and methodological flaws in his belief systems. Concerned people are not afraid to resolve a number of lingering problems. And sensible people know that Mr. Buzz Bunny's lamentations are a load of bunk. I use this delightfully pejorative term, "bunk" -- an alternative from the same page of my criminal-slang lexicon would serve just as well -- because there's an important difference between me and Mr. Buzz Bunny. Namely, I am willing to die for my cause. Mr. Buzz Bunny, in contrast, is willing to kill for his -- or, if not to kill, at least to rebrand local churches as faith-based emporia teeming with impulse-buy items. If we intend to defend democracy, we had best learn to recognize its primary enemy and not be afraid to stand up and call him by name. That name is Mr. Dog felcher Buzz Bunny.
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