Picard: I am Captain Picard, Starship guru and Federation poster boy.. suck it suck it..
Data: GREAT CAPTAIN, REALLY GREAT!
Picard: Was that sarcasm you fucking jewish nosed cunt?
Data: Of course not Captain, I am incapable of emotion because for the purposes of this story the emotion chip that we never found is NON CANON.
Picard: Why, will that effect this story?
Data: No.
Picard: SILENCE WESLEY!
Data: He's not here Cappy. We are keeping the Traveller canon.
Picard: SHUT UP DATA
Data: That works..
Riker: Heading Captain?
Picard: Ah, yes. We are to go to the Alpha Betty Spaghetti sector and look at some completely crap anomaly for a month.
Riker: Very good, captain.
Picard: Engage, warp 6...
WOOOOOOOSHHH!
*undisclosed time later*
Data: We have arrived at the Alpha Betty Spaghetti sector Cappy. The anomily is straight ahead
*Silly white mist in space CGI shot*
*Strange lights and noise occur on the bridge of the enterprise*
Troi: Uggggghhghh!! AIIIEEEEE!
Riker: IMZADI!!
Troi: Orgasm I'M CUMMING!!! !!
Riker: Imzadi?
Troi: Woah, thats the best I've ever had!
Riker: Wha...
Worf: AHAHAHHAH!
Riker: Shut up Worf.
Data: Commander... the Captain seems to have dissapeared. Just thought I would mention, yeah.
Riker: QUICKLY SOMEBODY GO GET ME ANOTHER PIP FOR MY SHIRT MAYBE WE CAN GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE THE BASTARD COMES BACK!
Data: Umm.. Commander...
Riker: Yeah, yeah.. do a fucking scan, scan your little tin head off you fucking fuck!
Data: Yes sir, you bearded freak.
Riker: What?!
Data: I said: yes sir, scanning for anomaly err leak..
Riker: Very good.. I will be masterbating over your cat if you need me.
Data: yes sir.
*Meanwhile*
Picard: What, where am I!
SPACE BAT JANE: SPACE BAT SPACE BAT SEX WITH THE SPACE BATS!
Picard: My name is Jean Luc Picard, Captain of the Starship Enter...
SPACE BAT KANE: NEED TO CHOKSLAM THE BALDED ONE SPACE BAT CHOKESLAM SPACE BAT..
SPACE BAT JANE: STOP SPACE BAT KANE STOOOOP SPACE BATS!!
Picard: What the.. RETURN ME TO MY SHIP YOU SPACE RATS!
SPACE BAT JANE: BATS, WERE SPACE BATS CAPTAIN. SPACE BAT SPACE BAT SEX WITH THE SAPCE BATS.
Picard: I see....
SPACE BAT KING: I AM THE SPACE BAT KING WHAT BRINGS YOU HERE YOU FUCKING BALD CUNT FUCKING CUNT SPACE BAT.
Picard: I am here as an anomaly explorer person.. thing I have travelled many light years to visit this... cloud.. whatever.
SPACE BAT KING: A LIKLEY STORY!!
Picard: No really that is why we are here.
SPACE BAT KING: Yes, I know,.. thats why I said LIKLEY STORY!! SPACE BATS!
Picard: Oh...
SPACE BAT KING: Anyway, long story short, you're not leaving, we're going to rape you in our time bubble alpha betty anomaly for the rest of exsitence SPACE BATS.
Picard:.. ahh, yes.. Problem..
To be continued: