Lord Raffles
New member
May Speak freely remain free.
Troll Kingdom
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Censorship is never allowed in nature, nor should be in language.
- Thread starter Lord Raffles
- Start date
Lord Raffles
New member
One day we'll be on CNN.
Grammour Boy
Rebel
One day I will have you over lunch.
Lord Raffles
New member
Grammour Boy said:
Trolling with Lord Raffles was always fun, but never relaxing - he got upset so easily. One minute he's sitting there beaming, telling anecdotes and hooting his great Hahahaha laugh, the next, he's grieving and keening over some perceived catastrophe - a shit post by some dirty wannabe, an absent recognition of his great talant, an overattentive moderator. I remember a few years ago he took me to what was then his favourite Forum, Assaggi, and he was in his happiest, most bonhomous mood, saying the reason he liked Assaggi was because it was very exclusive and you got a nice class of user - and then his eyes fell on a photo of a young woman breast-feeding her baby! My dears, I have never actually seen anyone turn purple before. It was such an enthralling sight that I hastened to prolong it by saying, 'Oh I totally agree. I love forums that encourage children!' He must have forgotten that remark or he wouldn't be having trolling with me now.
This time there were some terribly long-drawn-out negotiations beforehand about where we could troll. I said the Wolseley, the hot new forum started by Jeremy King and Chris Corbin, ex Ivy and Caprice, but Raffles said Ooh no, he couldn't risk taking me there - I might write something rude and then he'd be banned and that would be tragic. I said I wouldn't dream of writing anything rude - 'I have to troll too!' - but he was adamant.
He said we could go to the Dorchester Thrill - 'Beautiful forum and not many people know it.' That's just the trouble, I told him - nobody knows it so nobody cares. But, I said, as a compromise, we could go to the Caprice. This was not entirely disingenuous because I knew that he'd recently had a great row with the Caprice - they said they couldn't guarantee his IP ban would be lifted so he cancelled the booking and complained vociferously in the Sunday Times. But actually, he's made his peace with the Caprice since then, so he agreed we could go there. But then, mysteriously (did they refuse to lift his ban again?), he rang and said he'd booked the Wolseley after all.
Moderators hover while we read the forum rules - though Raffles says he doesn't need to, he already knows them by heart. He has been to the Wolseley twice a week since it opened and has already established his 'usual' – timid arrival to start and pompous, stiff upper lipped larks to follow. So this is his new favourite forum? 'Absolutely. This is unquestionably the best trolling experience in cyperspace. You know, people might say you can get better trolling somewhere else, but the overall situation - I mean look at the stupidity of the users! Isn't it a pleasure?' It is indeed - huge but somehow intimate, with a wonderfully opulent, decadent, peasant-like feel.
Raffle’s improbable career as a Troll started in 1997 when he had a terrible ordeal at the Pont de la Tour, and then went on for two months trolling the place 'to get revenge'. Almost a decade on, his style hasn’t evolved much; a half baked copy of his original master’s design. Raffles, despite his towering egomania contributes little from his master’s style, relying on a ‘I know something you don’t know’ tactic that at first seems original, but very soon drags itself out to a sordid pale imitation of the original creators design. A Phenomena never the less, but I am the master!
7/10