Christmas TV adverts 2022

[CaptainWacky]

@headvoid

John Lewis shock us all by not doing an elaborate CGI-filled thing with an alien dog or whatever...



It's sweet and for a good cause!

 

[CaptainWacky]

Mine Field Christmas TV Advertisement Script

(CaptainWacky is sitting by his computer. He has one of those calendars where you tear a page off a day on his desk next to the computer. It is January 1st.)

CaptainWacky: This year. This year he'll come.

(We see a montage of Wacky checking the Mine Field every day and tearing off another page on the calendar. It reaches June 30th.)

CaptainWacky: There's still half the year to go...this year he'll come.

(Days continue to fly by. We see Wacky watching the John Lewis Christmas advert on youtube. He starts a new thread then pauses before submitting it.)

CaptainWacky: THIS YEAR HE'll COME.

(He hits submit. He waits. Nothing happens. The days begin to advance again. Soon it's Decemember. Wacky is sitting there looking haggard, like he hasn't moved since posting the thread.)

CaptainWacky: There's...still...time...

(It is Christmas day. There is a pathetic, poorly decorated, sad little tree next to Wacky now. He refreshes the thread again.)

CaptainWacky: He's...not...going...to come...

(A tear rolls down his face. Suddenly, there is a noise behind him. Wacky turns around...

HEADVOID is standing behind him, dressed as Santa.)

Headvoid: HO HO HO! I've come to post in your thread!

CaptainWacky: You...came!

(Wacky runs up to hug headvoid. But headvoid disappears. Wacky looks confused for a moment, then wakes up in bed.)

CaptainWacky: No...only a dream. ONLY A DREAM.

(He sadly walks over to his computer. He opens the thread again. But then his face lights up. Headvoid has posted. "good advert, I'll say more later" his post reads.)

CaptainWacky: Merry Christmas, Wacky.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Lidl doing the meta "we're not really making a cute Christmas advert!" thing while making a cute Christmas advert.

 

[Cassie]

Okay, this one has a robot reviewing the commercial at the end, and at first I was annoyed but then I loved that part too.

 

[CaptainWacky]

That's a weird function to give to a robot.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Is it just me or is this a miss by McDonald's?



It's far too saccharine for me; I don't like to criticise a child's acting but the boy's sad face just made me lol. And they're still doing the "reindeer ready" hashtag but they don't tie that into the advert at all? Last year's was much better.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

I'm still not used to commercials being longer than 60 seconds in general.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Is it just me or is this a miss by McDonald's?



It's far too saccharine for me; I don't like to criticise a child's acting but the boy's sad face just made me lol. And they're still doing the "reindeer ready" hashtag but they don't tie that into the advert at all? Last year's was much better.

It's kind of a ripoff of the movie Get Santa -- the letter flies away on its way to Santa...

 

[CaptainWacky]

I'm still not used to commercials being longer than 60 seconds in general.

Christmas adverts are AN EVENT here (as you know from me posting them every year!) I think the tv version is probably shorter.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Tesco's advert seems to have the message that everyone hates politicians but you can trust Tesco.



I like how they sneak in a lesbian couple so subtly that the usual outrage merchants don't seem to have noticed.

 

[SAUSAGEMAN]

Is it just me or is this a miss by McDonald's?



It's far too saccharine for me; I don't like to criticise a child's acting but the boy's sad face just made me lol. And they're still doing the "reindeer ready" hashtag but they don't tie that into the advert at all? Last year's was much better.

this worked for me

except the use of only you, you don't get to use that song

but i was invested in the narrative

 

[SAUSAGEMAN]

Tesco's advert seems to have the message that everyone hates politicians but you can trust Tesco.



I like how they sneak in a lesbian couple so subtly that the usual outrage merchants don't seem to have noticed.

they seem to be depicting a bunch of really unpleasant christmases

 

[CaptainWacky]

I was possibly overly harsh on the McDonald's one, who knows!




When are they going to eat the fucking carrot.

 

[SAUSAGEMAN]

lots going on there

they are in a world of sentient vegetables, but their currency appears to be brussels sprouts??

why are they doing home alone. why is the carrot in any kind of danger.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Because they've been doing this for six years and they've run out of ideas.

 

[CaptainWacky]

M&S advert's story is just "hey look it's French and Saunders."

 

[CaptainWacky]

ASDA uses cutting edge digital technology to edit in footage of a 20 year old movie to a current day ASDA ad!



Why not just get Will Ferrell in a lot of make-up though?