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Dear Punisher

eloisel

eloisel

Forever Empress E
Perhaps we have met. If so, I don't remember you. I'm old.

Calling me a whore - that's a new one. No one has called me that in a long time. It is almost like a breath of fresh air.

Now, I appreciate your need to shower me with your brand of affection, but, I've just recently took a very long bath in some very similar type of affection. So, let me sum up for you how this will go - you'll call me a bunch of names, follow me all over the board to add your pithy little karma comments to my posts, post what you consider inflammatory and shocking posts to me, etc. I'll make some remarks back to you about how I'm not your mama, don't want to marry you, think you are probably a glue sniffer on meth, etc., then I'll go out to drum circle, a movie, to dinner with friends, a conference, on vacation, or some other such thing while you continue to make your pithy little karma comments on posts of mine you necro from forever ago. You may even create a few duals to imitate or harass me. It has been known to happen.

So, now that I've summed up, let me conclude. At some point I will stop noticing you. In fact, I will purposefully skip over your posts and karma comments. I can do that indefinitely.

Have a nice weekend. I know I plan on it.
 
Sarek said:
Shut the fuck up dick.
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OnyxOverdrive said:
so how did it go with the guy you had the hots for at the drum circle?

you invited him over yet?
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Actually, he's not the one I have the hots for. Remember when I took the home improvement class a few months back? Well, the instructor is a pretty cool guy. He's a carpenter in his regular job. You know I've got a thing for carpenters.
 
eloisel said:
Perhaps we have met. If so, I don't remember you. I'm old.

Calling me a whore - that's a new one. No one has called me that in a long time. It is almost like a breath of fresh air.

Now, I appreciate your need to shower me with your brand of affection, but, I've just recently took a very long bath in some very similar type of affection. So, let me sum up for you how this will go - you'll call me a bunch of names, follow me all over the board to add your pithy little karma comments to my posts, post what you consider inflammatory and shocking posts to me, etc. I'll make some remarks back to you about how I'm not your mama, don't want to marry you, think you are probably a glue sniffer on meth, etc., then I'll go out to drum circle, a movie, to dinner with friends, a conference, on vacation, or some other such thing while you continue to make your pithy little karma comments on posts of mine you necro from forever ago. You may even create a few duals to imitate or harass me. It has been known to happen.

So, now that I've summed up, let me conclude. At some point I will stop noticing you. In fact, I will purposefully skip over your posts and karma comments. I can do that indefinitely.

Have a nice weekend. I know I plan on it.
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Let me settle this for you, you fat cow.

First off: I hacked Jason's account, so don't go blaming this on "The Punisher." It was all ME.

Secondly, you are a hideous, greasy, unkempt, double-flushing blog of gelatinous whale shit. You can pretend all you want that somehow, your pretend social life qualifies you as better than me, but here's the cold, hard truth:

I do this intermittently. Years have gone by before I've returned here. And what I do here, I do out of pure rage and hatred. Hatred for pathetic loser Trekkie/nerd shits like you who have NO LIFE and who therefore spend time here (and other boards!) because the large amount of time you've spent neglecting your own health has made you unbearable to all of the human senses and a few we don't know about yet.

I can check your activity log and see that you've been here consistently for years, carrying on with other pathetic shits like yourself who also choose to stay in their filth-ridden dens because of their hideousness.

I am drive-by shooter. You are NOTHING.

Don't forget it.
 
eloisel said:
Actually, he's not the one I have the hots for. Remember when I took the home improvement class a few months back? Well, the instructor is a pretty cool guy. He's a carpenter in his regular job. You know I've got a thing for carpenters.
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You've got a thing for carpenters? Is it so they can build you ramps to get in and out of your pig stye?

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Why does it always come down to "you're fat. nanner nanner nanner!"? It's easy and lazy and not original in the least and it's been used so many times as an insult online that it's become meaningless. And most people that are carting around some extra pounds are already aware of it so you're not telling them something they don't already know. If they aren't overweight, then calling them fat is just stupid. Basically it all boils down to, who gives a fuck?

You ever have someone tell you something obvious? I had too much coffee one morning and my hands were shaking. A co-worker told me "your hands are shaking." Really? I would never have noticed, I haven't used my hands all week. Fucking idiot.
 
Filthy Whore said:
Why does it always come down to "you're fat. nanner nanner nanner!"? It's easy and lazy and not original in the least and it's been used so many times as an insult online that it's become meaningless. And most people that are carting around some extra pounds are already aware of it so you're not telling them something they don't already know. If they aren't overweight, then calling them fat is just stupid. Basically it all boils down to, who gives a fuck?

You ever have someone tell you something obvious?
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You talk to much.
 
Well, Jason, Punisher, Dracula - whatever - now you've gone and done it. You've called me a whore, a loser, a nerd, a cow, and fat, among many other things. *Sigh* and *boo hoo* and *deep sob*. No one has ever been so mean to me before. Whatever will I do?

It is nice to know that you've come back from wherever it is you've been to expend upon me your vast vocabulary. One of the few things I like better than a carpenter is an unquantified individual hiding behind a vampiric avatar sucking the life force from me with vicious words. I've got goosebumps and shivers of delight are sitting at the base of my spine, ready to spring into action.

P.S. If you had really read anything on this board you would know that what you are attempting to do has been done to death by people I like better than you. Oh... I get it... that is why you are a dead thing!!! Clever.

:doh:
 
I’ve been a vampire for some seven-score years now, ever since that fateful night when I was drained of my humanity by a beautiful dark Goddess of the night. I left my mundane life behind and now I do great things like helping old ladies cross the street and then watching them shriek in horror as I empty their worthless veins and leave their lifeless husks in alleyways. Yes, being a vampire is all you’ve heard it is. Except for the part where nobody will hire me because I can only work at night and I can only kill people who are stupid enough to invite me into their homes. Do you know how hard it is to convince someone you’re a Jehovah’s Witness at two in the morning? Anyway, if you would like to become a vampire please send two dollars to this address:
 
jack said:
I’ve been a vampire for some seven-score years now, ever since that fateful night when I was drained of my humanity by a beautiful dark Goddess of the night. I left my mundane life behind and now I do great things like helping old ladies cross the street and then watching them shriek in horror as I empty their worthless veins and leave their lifeless husks in alleyways. Yes, being a vampire is all you’ve heard it is. Except for the part where nobody will hire me because I can only work at night and I can only kill people who are stupid enough to invite me into their homes. Do you know how hard it is to convince someone you’re a Jehovah’s Witness at two in the morning? Anyway, if you would like to become a vampire please send two dollars to this address:
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Lot of other butt-fuckers to talk to on this site, jackie?

http://vampirewebsite.net/vampirejokes.html
 
Ok, Drac - you've got a choice. It is either me or Jack. Give me all your undivided attention or, I swear, I'll ignore you forever and Jack will do things to your neck that would make any self-respecting vampire cringe. There are just some things you don't do where you eat.
 
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