Volpone
Zombie Hunter
The Margarita and the Daiquiri.
Yes, the '70s ruined them. But the '70s also ruined music, fashion, and movies and those all recovered. But I digress.
The Margarita. Tequila is my Nemesis drink. I had a bad experience with it as a freshman in college and since then I never could touch the stuff. Until I discovered the Margarita.
Now I'm not talking some fucking blended thing with strawberries and shit in some gay glass. I'm talking a real maragarita. The kind Hemingway drank. The kind JFK drank. The kind Hunter S. Thompson drank. My recipe, I go with a rocks glass full of ice. Add to that over half a glass of decent tequila. Fill about the remaining 2/3 with triple sec. Top it off with lime juice. (When I'm lazy and weak I'll use Rose's sweetened lime juice, when I'm feeling hard I'll go to the store and buy a lime and squeeze the bastard for fresh, pulpy, tart juice.) Dump the whole thing in a shaker and shake it up. Wet the rim of the glass. (Some people swear by lime juice. I just dunk it into the shaker.) Cover the rim with some decent salt. Add booze and ice. Enjoy.
The Daiquiri. Here's another drink they faggoted up in the 1970s. A proper daiquiri contains nothing but white rum, lime juice, and a little syrup, served chilled in a martini glass (no ice). No ground up slurry of ice. No banana flavored shit. Just rum, lime, sugar. Again, this was a drink JFK would enjoy while being fellated by Marilyn Monroe. And Hemingway liked it so much he had not one but two variants named for him.
I've got a pretty decent liquor cabinet, but I'll only stock one type of whisky (or whiskey, scotch, or bourbon) at a time. And at most I'll carry a spiced rum and maybe Malibu for a coconut rum. And I'm not going to muck about with buying (or making) a syrup. So my daiquiri is: 6 parts spiced rum, 4 parts Rose's sweetened lime juice, and maybe 1/2 part of maraschino cherry syrup (What. Now that I'm too old and fat to drink cherry cola I've got to do something with the syrup when I'm out of Manhattan cherries.) Throw it all in a shaker with some ice. Shake it up. Strain it into a nicely chilled martini glass. As an added plus, this is a hot pink/salmon color but tastes nothing like something a girl would drink. So if you can get a bartender to make you one to these specifications, there's a decent chance someone will bust your balls for drinking it (unless you are a girl). And then you can kick them in the balls like a mule.
Yes, the '70s ruined them. But the '70s also ruined music, fashion, and movies and those all recovered. But I digress.
The Margarita. Tequila is my Nemesis drink. I had a bad experience with it as a freshman in college and since then I never could touch the stuff. Until I discovered the Margarita.
Now I'm not talking some fucking blended thing with strawberries and shit in some gay glass. I'm talking a real maragarita. The kind Hemingway drank. The kind JFK drank. The kind Hunter S. Thompson drank. My recipe, I go with a rocks glass full of ice. Add to that over half a glass of decent tequila. Fill about the remaining 2/3 with triple sec. Top it off with lime juice. (When I'm lazy and weak I'll use Rose's sweetened lime juice, when I'm feeling hard I'll go to the store and buy a lime and squeeze the bastard for fresh, pulpy, tart juice.) Dump the whole thing in a shaker and shake it up. Wet the rim of the glass. (Some people swear by lime juice. I just dunk it into the shaker.) Cover the rim with some decent salt. Add booze and ice. Enjoy.
The Daiquiri. Here's another drink they faggoted up in the 1970s. A proper daiquiri contains nothing but white rum, lime juice, and a little syrup, served chilled in a martini glass (no ice). No ground up slurry of ice. No banana flavored shit. Just rum, lime, sugar. Again, this was a drink JFK would enjoy while being fellated by Marilyn Monroe. And Hemingway liked it so much he had not one but two variants named for him.
I've got a pretty decent liquor cabinet, but I'll only stock one type of whisky (or whiskey, scotch, or bourbon) at a time. And at most I'll carry a spiced rum and maybe Malibu for a coconut rum. And I'm not going to muck about with buying (or making) a syrup. So my daiquiri is: 6 parts spiced rum, 4 parts Rose's sweetened lime juice, and maybe 1/2 part of maraschino cherry syrup (What. Now that I'm too old and fat to drink cherry cola I've got to do something with the syrup when I'm out of Manhattan cherries.) Throw it all in a shaker with some ice. Shake it up. Strain it into a nicely chilled martini glass. As an added plus, this is a hot pink/salmon color but tastes nothing like something a girl would drink. So if you can get a bartender to make you one to these specifications, there's a decent chance someone will bust your balls for drinking it (unless you are a girl). And then you can kick them in the balls like a mule.