Kyehlar
You Fox Eared Asshole!
While ECW One Night Stand may not be as much of a One Night Stand as it was originally intended, this Pay Per View did not disappoint. If anything, it was even better than the first one. The first ONS had heavy WWE influences, as there was a movement to stop the ECW influence, as well as a multitude of WWE Superstars on hand for the event. Aside from JBL’s vignette during the middle of the show, this entire PPV had an ECW atmosphere. By the way, JBL returns to Smackdown! to replace Tazz at Color Commentary. Anyone care? Anyway…. ECW has been resurrected. And it LIVES!!!
Tazz vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler
This one was over before you could say Sports Entertainment. Lawler started off by clocking Joey Styles, which only further pissed off The Human Suplex Machine. Joey got some slight revenge as he jumped on The King’s back, and as the King set up to give him his signature piledriver, Tazz slipped in behind him and locked in the Kata Hajime, or ‘The Tazzmission’. Tazz did exactly as he said he was going to do, and choked The King out.
Winner by Submission – Tazz
Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton
Of all the matches that had a WWE environment to it, this was the one. Orton had no idea what to do in the ECW world, and the two wrestled a match that you’d see at any other WWE Pay Per View. The intensity shown by both men was turned up a notch, but I have to agree with the crowd, when they chanted ‘BORING!’ Thankfully this match was ended when Kurt Angle locked in the ankle lock. Orton spent too much time playing to the crowd, as though he were on Monday Night Raw.
Winner by Submission – Kurt Angle
FBI (Little Guido and Tony Mamaluke w/Big Guido) vs. Super Crazy & Tajiri
The first match of the night that felt like it was an ECW match. It was wonderful to see Tajiri back in a wrestling ring, after relocating back to Japan. It didn’t look as though he missed a beat, as he and Super Crazy performed their aeronautical feats. It wasn’t enough, however, as Big Guido played a role in the FBI turning the tables and stealing a win. The Big Show came out at the end of the match to clear the ring of all competitors. Not even Big Guido at 6’8” was more than a minor inconvenience for Big Show’s tyranny.
Winner by Pinfall – FBI
Sabu vs. Rey Mysterio – World Heavyweight Title Match
One of the highlights of the night. The Homicidal, Suicidal, Genocidal, Death-Defying Sabu in a dream match against the High Flying Rey Mysterio. This wasn’t so much of a wrestling match, as it was an airshow. The two men seemed to be playing a game of ‘can you top this’ as the match progressed. Sabu was able to nail both his Arabian Facebuster as well as his Triple Jump Moonsault. Thankfully, Rey Mysterio was unable to hit the 619. Unfortunately this match ended before a clearcut winner was determined. The match ended as Rey Mysterio was set up on a table on the outside. Sabu leapt from the top rope and nailed Mysterio with a DDT through the table, sending them both crashing through the table and onto their heads. The trainer was called out, and he called the match. Both men were unable to continue. While this is almost unheard of in ECW, the two men gave it one hell of a match, and there were no losers in this fan’s eyes.
Match Ended in No Contest
Mick Foley, Edge & Lita vs. Terry Funk, Tommy Dreamer & Beulah
Yes, you read that right. Beulah McGillicutty accompanied Tommy Dreamer to the ring, and challenged Lita to make it a 6-Man mixed tag match. This match was one of the most brutal in recent history. It had everything. Tables, Ladders, Chairs, Barbed Wire, Baseball Bats, and even Fire. These people tore each other up. Terry Funk was even taken to the back for medical attention to his eye. But the Lord of Hardcore returned to the ring with a 2X4 covered in barbed wire, which Beulah appropriately set on fire. Funk and Foley wound up in a plywood board filled with barbed wire which Funk had to be cut out of to escape. The match came to an end, as Edge speared a prone Beulah, and pinned her for the win in a sexually provocative manner. They don’t call him the Rated R Superstar for nothing. The WWE team may have won this day, but Funk and Dreamer were on their feet when it was all said and done. They may yet live to fight another day.
Winner by Pinfall – Mick Foley, Edge & Lita
Balls Mahoney vs. Masato Tanaka
Now we’re back to an ECW style match. A classic with the hardest swinger of a steel chair in Balls Mahoney, and the man who’s taken multiple chair shots to the head without falling in Masato Tanaka. If anyone remembers last year’s ONS, Mike Awesome slammed this man’s head with a steel chair time after time, and he would not go down. It took an Awesome-Bomb through a table on the outside to put this man out. Unfortunately, this wasn’t Tanaka’s night, as Balls Mahoney’s chair swinging hasn’t missed a beat. One bent chair later, and Tanaka was on the mat for 1-2-3. A great match. Classic ECW.
Winner by Pinfall – Balls Mahoney
Eugene vs. The Sandman?
Okay, so this wasn’t a match. But I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention this. Before the WWE Championship match could get underway, Eugene came down to the ring and started reading a poem to the ECW faithful in the Hammerstein Ballroom. The crowd responded with ‘Shut The F’ Up!’, and The Sandman came down to the ring to oblige the crowd. In an entrance that only he can make, The Sandman made his way through the crowd, guzzling beer and smashing the cans across his forehead, beating himself up worse than any opponent could before he even hit the ring. The Sandman quickly dispatched Eugene with a few dozen swings of the Singapore Cane. Eugene soon re-boarded the Short Bus back for WWE. Now, let’s get back to wrestling….
Rob Van Dam vs. John Cena – WWE Championship Match
This is it. The one that everyone has been waiting for ever since RVD cashed in his Money In The Bank. You could tell that this crowd was 100% behind The Whole F’n Show, instead of the mixed crowds that Cena is used to getting. When Cena threw his hat and shirt to the crowd, they just kept throwing it back. Once Cena gave up on this, the match got underway. The match started out like a regular Cena match. Same moves, same setups, even a five-knuckle-shuffle. The crowd let him know they were tired of this, and RVD responded. The match quickly started to heat up as it went to the outside. Cena showed that even he can get extreme as he pulled up the ring steps and clocked RVD straight on. Out of nowhere, Cena slapped on the STFU, which he refused to relinquish once RVD reached the ropes. Cena knocked out the ref, who was quickly replaced by Smackdown! referee, and a man filled with controversy, Nick Patrick. Patrick found himself unconscious soon after, as Rob Van Dam capitalized. With Cena prone in the middle of the ring, RVD went to the top rope and nailed a perfect Five-Star-Frog-Splash. He tried to wake up Nick Patrick to make the count, to no avail. Running from the back, Paul Heyman came down to the ring, and counted an even 1-2-3, crowning Rob Van Dam the new WWE/ECW Champion.
Winner by Pinfall and New Champion – Rob Van Dam
The man has held the Intercontinental Championship 6 times. He is a multiple-time Tag Team Champion. And he held the ECW Television Title for 23 months. The only reason he lost that title, was because he had to relinquish it due to a broken ankle. As Joey Styles has said many times, he is the most talented wrestler today, that has never held the world title. That statement was true until tonight. There is no other man who has worked as hard, nor gone through as much as this man has, than Rob Van Dam. Whether it was done through controversy or not, RVD earned this Championship, and I hope that he has a reign that rivals, or even surpasses his ECW Television Title run.
Overall, this PPV was head over heels better than last year’s ONS. The WWE influence was toned down a lot more, which gave it the full ECW atmosphere. The next two nights on RAW and the new ECW show on Sci-Fi should prove to be very interesting, but most of all highly entertaining.
E C DUB!!!
Tazz vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler
This one was over before you could say Sports Entertainment. Lawler started off by clocking Joey Styles, which only further pissed off The Human Suplex Machine. Joey got some slight revenge as he jumped on The King’s back, and as the King set up to give him his signature piledriver, Tazz slipped in behind him and locked in the Kata Hajime, or ‘The Tazzmission’. Tazz did exactly as he said he was going to do, and choked The King out.
Winner by Submission – Tazz
Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton
Of all the matches that had a WWE environment to it, this was the one. Orton had no idea what to do in the ECW world, and the two wrestled a match that you’d see at any other WWE Pay Per View. The intensity shown by both men was turned up a notch, but I have to agree with the crowd, when they chanted ‘BORING!’ Thankfully this match was ended when Kurt Angle locked in the ankle lock. Orton spent too much time playing to the crowd, as though he were on Monday Night Raw.
Winner by Submission – Kurt Angle
FBI (Little Guido and Tony Mamaluke w/Big Guido) vs. Super Crazy & Tajiri
The first match of the night that felt like it was an ECW match. It was wonderful to see Tajiri back in a wrestling ring, after relocating back to Japan. It didn’t look as though he missed a beat, as he and Super Crazy performed their aeronautical feats. It wasn’t enough, however, as Big Guido played a role in the FBI turning the tables and stealing a win. The Big Show came out at the end of the match to clear the ring of all competitors. Not even Big Guido at 6’8” was more than a minor inconvenience for Big Show’s tyranny.
Winner by Pinfall – FBI
Sabu vs. Rey Mysterio – World Heavyweight Title Match
One of the highlights of the night. The Homicidal, Suicidal, Genocidal, Death-Defying Sabu in a dream match against the High Flying Rey Mysterio. This wasn’t so much of a wrestling match, as it was an airshow. The two men seemed to be playing a game of ‘can you top this’ as the match progressed. Sabu was able to nail both his Arabian Facebuster as well as his Triple Jump Moonsault. Thankfully, Rey Mysterio was unable to hit the 619. Unfortunately this match ended before a clearcut winner was determined. The match ended as Rey Mysterio was set up on a table on the outside. Sabu leapt from the top rope and nailed Mysterio with a DDT through the table, sending them both crashing through the table and onto their heads. The trainer was called out, and he called the match. Both men were unable to continue. While this is almost unheard of in ECW, the two men gave it one hell of a match, and there were no losers in this fan’s eyes.
Match Ended in No Contest
Mick Foley, Edge & Lita vs. Terry Funk, Tommy Dreamer & Beulah
Yes, you read that right. Beulah McGillicutty accompanied Tommy Dreamer to the ring, and challenged Lita to make it a 6-Man mixed tag match. This match was one of the most brutal in recent history. It had everything. Tables, Ladders, Chairs, Barbed Wire, Baseball Bats, and even Fire. These people tore each other up. Terry Funk was even taken to the back for medical attention to his eye. But the Lord of Hardcore returned to the ring with a 2X4 covered in barbed wire, which Beulah appropriately set on fire. Funk and Foley wound up in a plywood board filled with barbed wire which Funk had to be cut out of to escape. The match came to an end, as Edge speared a prone Beulah, and pinned her for the win in a sexually provocative manner. They don’t call him the Rated R Superstar for nothing. The WWE team may have won this day, but Funk and Dreamer were on their feet when it was all said and done. They may yet live to fight another day.
Winner by Pinfall – Mick Foley, Edge & Lita
Balls Mahoney vs. Masato Tanaka
Now we’re back to an ECW style match. A classic with the hardest swinger of a steel chair in Balls Mahoney, and the man who’s taken multiple chair shots to the head without falling in Masato Tanaka. If anyone remembers last year’s ONS, Mike Awesome slammed this man’s head with a steel chair time after time, and he would not go down. It took an Awesome-Bomb through a table on the outside to put this man out. Unfortunately, this wasn’t Tanaka’s night, as Balls Mahoney’s chair swinging hasn’t missed a beat. One bent chair later, and Tanaka was on the mat for 1-2-3. A great match. Classic ECW.
Winner by Pinfall – Balls Mahoney
Eugene vs. The Sandman?
Okay, so this wasn’t a match. But I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention this. Before the WWE Championship match could get underway, Eugene came down to the ring and started reading a poem to the ECW faithful in the Hammerstein Ballroom. The crowd responded with ‘Shut The F’ Up!’, and The Sandman came down to the ring to oblige the crowd. In an entrance that only he can make, The Sandman made his way through the crowd, guzzling beer and smashing the cans across his forehead, beating himself up worse than any opponent could before he even hit the ring. The Sandman quickly dispatched Eugene with a few dozen swings of the Singapore Cane. Eugene soon re-boarded the Short Bus back for WWE. Now, let’s get back to wrestling….
Rob Van Dam vs. John Cena – WWE Championship Match
This is it. The one that everyone has been waiting for ever since RVD cashed in his Money In The Bank. You could tell that this crowd was 100% behind The Whole F’n Show, instead of the mixed crowds that Cena is used to getting. When Cena threw his hat and shirt to the crowd, they just kept throwing it back. Once Cena gave up on this, the match got underway. The match started out like a regular Cena match. Same moves, same setups, even a five-knuckle-shuffle. The crowd let him know they were tired of this, and RVD responded. The match quickly started to heat up as it went to the outside. Cena showed that even he can get extreme as he pulled up the ring steps and clocked RVD straight on. Out of nowhere, Cena slapped on the STFU, which he refused to relinquish once RVD reached the ropes. Cena knocked out the ref, who was quickly replaced by Smackdown! referee, and a man filled with controversy, Nick Patrick. Patrick found himself unconscious soon after, as Rob Van Dam capitalized. With Cena prone in the middle of the ring, RVD went to the top rope and nailed a perfect Five-Star-Frog-Splash. He tried to wake up Nick Patrick to make the count, to no avail. Running from the back, Paul Heyman came down to the ring, and counted an even 1-2-3, crowning Rob Van Dam the new WWE/ECW Champion.
Winner by Pinfall and New Champion – Rob Van Dam
The man has held the Intercontinental Championship 6 times. He is a multiple-time Tag Team Champion. And he held the ECW Television Title for 23 months. The only reason he lost that title, was because he had to relinquish it due to a broken ankle. As Joey Styles has said many times, he is the most talented wrestler today, that has never held the world title. That statement was true until tonight. There is no other man who has worked as hard, nor gone through as much as this man has, than Rob Van Dam. Whether it was done through controversy or not, RVD earned this Championship, and I hope that he has a reign that rivals, or even surpasses his ECW Television Title run.
Overall, this PPV was head over heels better than last year’s ONS. The WWE influence was toned down a lot more, which gave it the full ECW atmosphere. The next two nights on RAW and the new ECW show on Sci-Fi should prove to be very interesting, but most of all highly entertaining.
E C DUB!!!
