Gonad
DON'T FUCK WITH MY TITLE BITCH
I finally found the damn thing I meant to post back in 2006 or 2007. Hell, maybe even 2008 it was all so damn long ago.
July 7 2001
We fought today. And I finally got him to hit me; pin me and hit me and hurt me so hart. It felt good, so good and achy like the first time we made love. But we didn't, it was sex, sex, sex always and forever so fun so hurt but this didn't hurt enough, it's been an hour or two and the hurt is almost gone except for my arm but no bruises just red marks on my ribs and breast [Note: I was sure that those red marks would turn into bruises but they went away overnight and I ended up with giant fingerprint bruises on my arm for at least a week.] All on the right side because he hits right-handed. He said he wouldn't but I knew he would and so I hit him on the lower back ribs and I hit him again and he turned around and threw me back and pinned me and hit me and hit me again and hit me here and there and everywhere and on the ribs and on the ribs and in the middle and on the breast and again again again again again. I thought he'd stretch the skin I was and am so very terrified of getting pendulous [Note: Too late.] I'm scared I'm raptured and over and out. I want to laugh and he hit me in the shoulder and arm too. The right arm. Then he shoved or pulled or threw (I'm not sure which) me forward I stayed lying on my stomach and he stopped and was looking at me. I think I'm not sure I was facing down and away to the side after all. I was smiling I was so happy finally finally he was hitting me and it hurt and it felt so good. So I smiled I was so dreamily happy; and I started to get up (only a moment or two passed with me on the floor) and he slammed me down again and hit me hard on the arm and shoulder. It hurt, and I wasn't expecting it, but he was hitting me after all, so I lay there waiting for it to be over so I could enjoy the feeling. When he was done I didn't move because I was scared of him seriously hurting me if I got back up again (broken bones or something) so I lay there and he felt bad and lay down on top of me as if to protect me. I didn't move, just felt happy and contented and smiley but not with him being on top of me; because he hit me I was happy I was so happy.
I've wanted to be physically hurt by him for so long, and it was just like I thought it would be; just as wonderful. I'm connecting sex with pain, with beating and I like it. I want to be tied up, tied down, hit, fucked hard I'm so happy he hit me it hurt just like the first time, but I'm not sore now and I was then. I was sore for days. And I bled, just a little, but this time I'm already not sore and it was only a couple of hours ago and I wanted to bleed too I almost did I almost cut myself I went into the kitchen to get a knife so I could cut and hurt and see the blood and feel the pain but I'm scared of blood and terrified of pain but not anymore not the beating kind just the cutting kind and it was so nice of him to hit me I want to thank him but I don't think he'd like that and I want him to do it again and again until I can't move and it hurts so badly that all I can think is that it hurts so good that would be nice would be something to look forward to - Hurt me hit me please I need the pain I miss the ache of my first time I miss it I miss the hurt. I want it bad, so badly. Feels wonderful the pressure of a dick inside me, a cock, a body near me a fist on my back. I want to be thrown I want to get up and be thrown again. Is this supposed to be sick? How can it be twisted when it makes me feel so good? I only feel whole when a penis is inside me. I'm glad I'm not selective, that means my life has a few options. As whole as I feel, I'm still not complete, after all I can move I can control I have power, and so does he. One of us needs to be completely helpless. I don't know which because I've never tried. I think it's me but I've never tried, and I've never died. But I want to die in your arms and give you my self my whole being and be nothing through myself but infinite through you and you and all of you, every one.
July 8 2001
Then later that night we held eachother in bed and made love. Or was it just really hot sex? [ . . . ]
July 7 2001
We fought today. And I finally got him to hit me; pin me and hit me and hurt me so hart. It felt good, so good and achy like the first time we made love. But we didn't, it was sex, sex, sex always and forever so fun so hurt but this didn't hurt enough, it's been an hour or two and the hurt is almost gone except for my arm but no bruises just red marks on my ribs and breast [Note: I was sure that those red marks would turn into bruises but they went away overnight and I ended up with giant fingerprint bruises on my arm for at least a week.] All on the right side because he hits right-handed. He said he wouldn't but I knew he would and so I hit him on the lower back ribs and I hit him again and he turned around and threw me back and pinned me and hit me and hit me again and hit me here and there and everywhere and on the ribs and on the ribs and in the middle and on the breast and again again again again again. I thought he'd stretch the skin I was and am so very terrified of getting pendulous [Note: Too late.] I'm scared I'm raptured and over and out. I want to laugh and he hit me in the shoulder and arm too. The right arm. Then he shoved or pulled or threw (I'm not sure which) me forward I stayed lying on my stomach and he stopped and was looking at me. I think I'm not sure I was facing down and away to the side after all. I was smiling I was so happy finally finally he was hitting me and it hurt and it felt so good. So I smiled I was so dreamily happy; and I started to get up (only a moment or two passed with me on the floor) and he slammed me down again and hit me hard on the arm and shoulder. It hurt, and I wasn't expecting it, but he was hitting me after all, so I lay there waiting for it to be over so I could enjoy the feeling. When he was done I didn't move because I was scared of him seriously hurting me if I got back up again (broken bones or something) so I lay there and he felt bad and lay down on top of me as if to protect me. I didn't move, just felt happy and contented and smiley but not with him being on top of me; because he hit me I was happy I was so happy.
I've wanted to be physically hurt by him for so long, and it was just like I thought it would be; just as wonderful. I'm connecting sex with pain, with beating and I like it. I want to be tied up, tied down, hit, fucked hard I'm so happy he hit me it hurt just like the first time, but I'm not sore now and I was then. I was sore for days. And I bled, just a little, but this time I'm already not sore and it was only a couple of hours ago and I wanted to bleed too I almost did I almost cut myself I went into the kitchen to get a knife so I could cut and hurt and see the blood and feel the pain but I'm scared of blood and terrified of pain but not anymore not the beating kind just the cutting kind and it was so nice of him to hit me I want to thank him but I don't think he'd like that and I want him to do it again and again until I can't move and it hurts so badly that all I can think is that it hurts so good that would be nice would be something to look forward to - Hurt me hit me please I need the pain I miss the ache of my first time I miss it I miss the hurt. I want it bad, so badly. Feels wonderful the pressure of a dick inside me, a cock, a body near me a fist on my back. I want to be thrown I want to get up and be thrown again. Is this supposed to be sick? How can it be twisted when it makes me feel so good? I only feel whole when a penis is inside me. I'm glad I'm not selective, that means my life has a few options. As whole as I feel, I'm still not complete, after all I can move I can control I have power, and so does he. One of us needs to be completely helpless. I don't know which because I've never tried. I think it's me but I've never tried, and I've never died. But I want to die in your arms and give you my self my whole being and be nothing through myself but infinite through you and you and all of you, every one.
July 8 2001
Then later that night we held eachother in bed and made love. Or was it just really hot sex? [ . . . ]
