Rov_is_a_Fag
New member
mmmm.....k.....lets go over the events that have transpired at the trollkingdom website in the last two years.
We have mm getting busted out by the Secret Service for counterfeiting money, we have a pissed off IRS agent standing behind the Secret Service bitching about how they cannot fully calculate the taxes they should be collecting from mm if they don't know exactly how much money she made. Then you have RedWhackEm over on the sidelines selling illegal weapons to his buddies in the UK so the military decides they better get on the TK action only to find out Shatna is dealing dope on the side, fiddling young girls and generally acting like a pedophile. At this point we call Perverted Justice who calls in JayWoe because he finds out eloisel has an online pharmacy and doesn't have a license to prescribe the medical marijuana she is growing in his greenhouse behind the Paki boyfriends "Export Store", so Cranky Bastard steps up and decides........fuck it..........lets create online pharmacies, steal peoples credit card information, charge their accounts $20-$30 bucks a pop every month and we just pretend like we sent them something and hopefully they will never figure it out.
As you can imagine, this pisses the Secret Service off because now they have to get involved in the identity theft side of it so they find out RobL has a big credit card scam going on where he steals people's PIN numbers on their credit cards and sells them to his e-buddies at $5 a pop. When he runs out of PINs he says....... let's hack into the IRS website and steal peoples social security numbers--so he calls in Bram who has extraordinary hacking skills but Bram does a half-ass job cause he is too busy helping the Chinese steal nuclear weapons secrets from the Las Alamos Nuclear facility. GTC starts MOOing cause his USDA site is not getting enough attention so he comes over to TK to try to recruit some of the Canadians to take the blame in the MadCowDisease fiasco at the Jack-in-the-Box restaurants. In the meantime, James Bogner is looking for terrorists to bust out and finds there is a big webscam involving porn, size 2 kids shoes, gay leather bars and Danny sending out libelous emails disparaging Ted. Os@m@ busts into the scene with a bong in one hand and a bottle of Captain Wacky rum in the other yelling "I will fight everybody" which is just a ploy because he a cyber ambulance chasing lawyer who is really trying to see if anyone needs his help with libel or internet cases involving the military. This pisses the military off so they recruit an IBM Ph.D. engineer whose specialty is fiber optic networks. They axe him to start creating criminal records on women who reject any of their "winks" on match.com and much to my distress, I get caught in the crossfire. I decide to move out of the State of TN after having forged and false criminal charges brought upon my person...in the process of relocating to Texas my agents decide to switch on me all of a sudden cause this chick says she knows me and is my friend so Mary says........OK. I didn't know her or know I knew her from this TK message board cause she is a liar. In the meantime a guy I ratted out gets wind of the "rat-out", he gathers up some of his mob friends and they decided to come after me once they purchase AK-47's from high ranking military guys who consider me a nuisance for axing for a 12 person jury to be impaneled to hear my case so I can expose Public Corruption, a goat-sniffing bum stuffer who is connected to a high-powered politician from Ohio who likes BDSM.. Gagh starts to feel sorry for me at that point so he recruits T aka Dawn.........the slag pretend realtor to relocate me to the JillianBacardi Witness Protection Program. She only agrees to it if he pays her because she has a lucrative modeling career where she pulls in $80K a day but decides she would like a two-month paid vacation. They recruit Mike to set up a web page for her showing how she really is a realtor, they dress her up all professionally so she doesn't look like the real actress/model she is........he does a pretty good job making it look legit except for the phone numbers that are incoming to my phone don't match up to the website phone numbers and I call it to their attention so they don't look like bigger idiots than they already are. DarthSikle is sitting there watching all of this thinking to himself.........."Have these people lost their minds???" so he recruits VKD to head up the dla, they expose TheQuestion as being a special ops/CIA guy who uses psychological warfare on me so that I go batshit crazy..........Sardy starts yelling about "WHY AM I HAVING TROUBLE FLYING??" to which Sarek replies........"I AM A 6'2, 275LB, FORMER RANGER WHO CARRIES A GUN FOR A LIVING" and Sardy says, "WHAT HAS THAT GOT TO DO WITH THE PRICE OF TEA IN CHINA??" to which Bram replies, "WHO KNOWS ABOUT ME AND THE CHINESE HACKING INTO LAS ALAMOS COMPOOTERS???" *takes deep breath* THEEEN..... Captain Wacky starts making post after post about dying and "dsgf", and what if you go to sleep and never wake up and what would happen if you made a U-turn at a busy intersection and your head fell off?????? All of a sudden he YELLS............ "Get in the Transformer" but Sardy & I aren't falling for it so we both put on tin foil hats so we can send subliminal messages to each other cause we know these people are extremely dangerous and the only way we will survive is if we stick together since the serial killer has already murdered Red Whacker. All of a sudden Big Brother 6 and the Comic Book people enter out of nowhere and start throwing everyone off with their insane Bigotry, drug use and drinking problems...........DirtyMike likes what he see's so he creates FeFe's Fuck House and Texas Wildcats cause he wants to get in the porn bidness, I go undercover to see what he is up to only to get sucked into the sleazy underworld porn bidness. Blade gets pissed off cause DirtyMike is running off all of this MBA, Ph.D. strippers so he decides to steal all of Daniels computer equipment. Daniel decides that shit ain't going down so he recruits some of the boys from Ft. WhoChuaChua to rig up some special equipment, then they raid the strip club, cut off Blades head and take him down to Tombstone, AZ cause they need a "figurehead" as the mayor now. Geedis and Blackfoot are standing their saying................Can you believe these white honky crackers??? And Jack??? what is this shit about fucking people in the neck??? Brothers know how to fuck and we don't fuck in the neck...........we fuck in the ass, pussy, mouth. No wonder white boys don't git no stinkin' pussy. <slagDawn... PEEYEW!!!! They decide they need to get away from the madness so they call Jonathan and Greg to see if they want to take a HUMMER road trip.........they load up the SUV, nail M.O.D.O.K on top for radar and make a run down to Memphis because there has been an Elvis sighting. When they get there..........it ain't Elvis......its Conway!!!! Sardy comes by in a flying saucer and rescues me, Red hacks all the records from the board for the Feds (this is before he gets killed)...........the D.A. hacks Reds Hacks and Dram screams............I AM THE HACKER!!!! EVERYONE GET OUT!!!! Sardy and I fly off in the flying saucer........I take off my tin foil hat off because it is making my hair silver. Sardy drops me off at AsylumNation and Vinyl_Girl interviews me for her EncylopediaDramatica news letter. Since She is new at investigative reporting she doesn't get the whole story and I keep babbling on about everything which only convinces her that I shouldn't have been busted out of the mental institution by the dla.
Conchanga is running back and forth between the U.S. and Canada trying to intercept all the nuclear weapons secrets because Mr.VanDyke has warned him what is going on. HAVOK dresses up like Barney and tries to convince everyone he is in charge but he gets busted out for his misdeeds.
Sanjay is trying to get a grip on the NASA stalkers so he calls me and axe what he should do...............I tell him..........THIS IS NOT OUR PROBLEM!!!! WE HAVE SPENT MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TRAINING THESE HORNY ASSHOLES, PUT THE 3 OF THEM ON A SHUTTLE, SHOOT THEM TO THE MOON, TELL THEM THEY HAVE 3 DAYS WORTH OF OXYGEN, THEY BETTER GET THIS LOVE TRIANGLE STRAIGHTENED OUT IN 3 DAYS, PHONE US WITH A SOLUTION TO THIS VERY BIG PROBLEM AND IF YOU DON'T..............WE WON'T TELL YOU WHERE THE EXTRA OXYGEN IS!!!!! THEN MAKE THEM FIX THE BROKEN SATELLITES WHILE THEY ARE UP THERE. TRUST ME SANJAY.........THEY WILL CUM UP WITH A SOLUTION. START USING SALT PETER IN THEIR SPACE MEALS.
In the meantime...............the FBI is hiding in the bushes making videotapes and notes of everything that is going on. He is thinking to himself.....Boooy, these people don't even have a clue whats getting ready to happen. Then Hambil has a heart-attack.
We have mm getting busted out by the Secret Service for counterfeiting money, we have a pissed off IRS agent standing behind the Secret Service bitching about how they cannot fully calculate the taxes they should be collecting from mm if they don't know exactly how much money she made. Then you have RedWhackEm over on the sidelines selling illegal weapons to his buddies in the UK so the military decides they better get on the TK action only to find out Shatna is dealing dope on the side, fiddling young girls and generally acting like a pedophile. At this point we call Perverted Justice who calls in JayWoe because he finds out eloisel has an online pharmacy and doesn't have a license to prescribe the medical marijuana she is growing in his greenhouse behind the Paki boyfriends "Export Store", so Cranky Bastard steps up and decides........fuck it..........lets create online pharmacies, steal peoples credit card information, charge their accounts $20-$30 bucks a pop every month and we just pretend like we sent them something and hopefully they will never figure it out.
As you can imagine, this pisses the Secret Service off because now they have to get involved in the identity theft side of it so they find out RobL has a big credit card scam going on where he steals people's PIN numbers on their credit cards and sells them to his e-buddies at $5 a pop. When he runs out of PINs he says....... let's hack into the IRS website and steal peoples social security numbers--so he calls in Bram who has extraordinary hacking skills but Bram does a half-ass job cause he is too busy helping the Chinese steal nuclear weapons secrets from the Las Alamos Nuclear facility. GTC starts MOOing cause his USDA site is not getting enough attention so he comes over to TK to try to recruit some of the Canadians to take the blame in the MadCowDisease fiasco at the Jack-in-the-Box restaurants. In the meantime, James Bogner is looking for terrorists to bust out and finds there is a big webscam involving porn, size 2 kids shoes, gay leather bars and Danny sending out libelous emails disparaging Ted. Os@m@ busts into the scene with a bong in one hand and a bottle of Captain Wacky rum in the other yelling "I will fight everybody" which is just a ploy because he a cyber ambulance chasing lawyer who is really trying to see if anyone needs his help with libel or internet cases involving the military. This pisses the military off so they recruit an IBM Ph.D. engineer whose specialty is fiber optic networks. They axe him to start creating criminal records on women who reject any of their "winks" on match.com and much to my distress, I get caught in the crossfire. I decide to move out of the State of TN after having forged and false criminal charges brought upon my person...in the process of relocating to Texas my agents decide to switch on me all of a sudden cause this chick says she knows me and is my friend so Mary says........OK. I didn't know her or know I knew her from this TK message board cause she is a liar. In the meantime a guy I ratted out gets wind of the "rat-out", he gathers up some of his mob friends and they decided to come after me once they purchase AK-47's from high ranking military guys who consider me a nuisance for axing for a 12 person jury to be impaneled to hear my case so I can expose Public Corruption, a goat-sniffing bum stuffer who is connected to a high-powered politician from Ohio who likes BDSM.. Gagh starts to feel sorry for me at that point so he recruits T aka Dawn.........the slag pretend realtor to relocate me to the JillianBacardi Witness Protection Program. She only agrees to it if he pays her because she has a lucrative modeling career where she pulls in $80K a day but decides she would like a two-month paid vacation. They recruit Mike to set up a web page for her showing how she really is a realtor, they dress her up all professionally so she doesn't look like the real actress/model she is........he does a pretty good job making it look legit except for the phone numbers that are incoming to my phone don't match up to the website phone numbers and I call it to their attention so they don't look like bigger idiots than they already are. DarthSikle is sitting there watching all of this thinking to himself.........."Have these people lost their minds???" so he recruits VKD to head up the dla, they expose TheQuestion as being a special ops/CIA guy who uses psychological warfare on me so that I go batshit crazy..........Sardy starts yelling about "WHY AM I HAVING TROUBLE FLYING??" to which Sarek replies........"I AM A 6'2, 275LB, FORMER RANGER WHO CARRIES A GUN FOR A LIVING" and Sardy says, "WHAT HAS THAT GOT TO DO WITH THE PRICE OF TEA IN CHINA??" to which Bram replies, "WHO KNOWS ABOUT ME AND THE CHINESE HACKING INTO LAS ALAMOS COMPOOTERS???" *takes deep breath* THEEEN..... Captain Wacky starts making post after post about dying and "dsgf", and what if you go to sleep and never wake up and what would happen if you made a U-turn at a busy intersection and your head fell off?????? All of a sudden he YELLS............ "Get in the Transformer" but Sardy & I aren't falling for it so we both put on tin foil hats so we can send subliminal messages to each other cause we know these people are extremely dangerous and the only way we will survive is if we stick together since the serial killer has already murdered Red Whacker. All of a sudden Big Brother 6 and the Comic Book people enter out of nowhere and start throwing everyone off with their insane Bigotry, drug use and drinking problems...........DirtyMike likes what he see's so he creates FeFe's Fuck House and Texas Wildcats cause he wants to get in the porn bidness, I go undercover to see what he is up to only to get sucked into the sleazy underworld porn bidness. Blade gets pissed off cause DirtyMike is running off all of this MBA, Ph.D. strippers so he decides to steal all of Daniels computer equipment. Daniel decides that shit ain't going down so he recruits some of the boys from Ft. WhoChuaChua to rig up some special equipment, then they raid the strip club, cut off Blades head and take him down to Tombstone, AZ cause they need a "figurehead" as the mayor now. Geedis and Blackfoot are standing their saying................Can you believe these white honky crackers??? And Jack??? what is this shit about fucking people in the neck??? Brothers know how to fuck and we don't fuck in the neck...........we fuck in the ass, pussy, mouth. No wonder white boys don't git no stinkin' pussy. <slagDawn... PEEYEW!!!! They decide they need to get away from the madness so they call Jonathan and Greg to see if they want to take a HUMMER road trip.........they load up the SUV, nail M.O.D.O.K on top for radar and make a run down to Memphis because there has been an Elvis sighting. When they get there..........it ain't Elvis......its Conway!!!! Sardy comes by in a flying saucer and rescues me, Red hacks all the records from the board for the Feds (this is before he gets killed)...........the D.A. hacks Reds Hacks and Dram screams............I AM THE HACKER!!!! EVERYONE GET OUT!!!! Sardy and I fly off in the flying saucer........I take off my tin foil hat off because it is making my hair silver. Sardy drops me off at AsylumNation and Vinyl_Girl interviews me for her EncylopediaDramatica news letter. Since She is new at investigative reporting she doesn't get the whole story and I keep babbling on about everything which only convinces her that I shouldn't have been busted out of the mental institution by the dla.
Conchanga is running back and forth between the U.S. and Canada trying to intercept all the nuclear weapons secrets because Mr.VanDyke has warned him what is going on. HAVOK dresses up like Barney and tries to convince everyone he is in charge but he gets busted out for his misdeeds.
Sanjay is trying to get a grip on the NASA stalkers so he calls me and axe what he should do...............I tell him..........THIS IS NOT OUR PROBLEM!!!! WE HAVE SPENT MILLIONS OF DOLLARS TRAINING THESE HORNY ASSHOLES, PUT THE 3 OF THEM ON A SHUTTLE, SHOOT THEM TO THE MOON, TELL THEM THEY HAVE 3 DAYS WORTH OF OXYGEN, THEY BETTER GET THIS LOVE TRIANGLE STRAIGHTENED OUT IN 3 DAYS, PHONE US WITH A SOLUTION TO THIS VERY BIG PROBLEM AND IF YOU DON'T..............WE WON'T TELL YOU WHERE THE EXTRA OXYGEN IS!!!!! THEN MAKE THEM FIX THE BROKEN SATELLITES WHILE THEY ARE UP THERE. TRUST ME SANJAY.........THEY WILL CUM UP WITH A SOLUTION. START USING SALT PETER IN THEIR SPACE MEALS.
In the meantime...............the FBI is hiding in the bushes making videotapes and notes of everything that is going on. He is thinking to himself.....Boooy, these people don't even have a clue whats getting ready to happen. Then Hambil has a heart-attack.
