CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
(Nicola and Stephen are in the garden.)
Nicola: Yeah like yeah...yeah...yeah...whadya mean?
Stephen: I can't tell you that in words. I can only direct you to the spirit.
Nicola: What, like alcohol? That's spirits, innit?
Stephen: Haha! Not that, but you'll know someday, when you know. When you KNOW what I mean, you'll be ready to KNOW what I mean and you will walk up to me and say "Stephen, I know what you mean." That is God's gift.
Nicola: What, like Santa?
(Stephen pinches her cheek like she's a child.)
Stephen: If my kids asked me if Santa was real because they were starting to like him more than Jesus...I'd have to tell them Santa isn't real. Think about that.
(He walks inside.)
Nicola: WAIT, WHADYA MEAN SANTA ISN'T REAL!?!?!?
Tree of Temptation: Oww, Nicola, pssst! Come over here.
Nicola: WHAD'S THAT? THE TREE CAN SPEAK!!?!? BUT TREES CAN'T SPEAK!?!?!? I'M SCARED!! OOOH, I'VE WET MESELF!
Tree: Oww, keep it down! Listen, if you can tickle Sisqo's feet with this giant ostrich feather without Sisqo knowing it was you, you will win a vat of fake cocaine for Heidi, but you can tell her it's real to keep her happy!
Nicola: WHADYA MEAN?
(In the house, Ivana is telling Hedi about her shoes.)
Ivana: Yes, they are shoes, yes, good shoes!
Heidi: One of my hookers used to wear shoes like that. She was beaten to death by a US senator. Life sucks, dude.
Ivana: Yes, haha, "suck", because you are, HOW YOU SAY, the salt vampire from Star Trek, haha!
Vinnie: She's the fucking "lying down wearing a sack" vampire if you ask me, hahahaha!
Dane: Hahaha, lying down!
(Alex walks by.)
Vinnie: And there's the fucking...wears a dress...vampire.
Dane: Hahaha, he does, he wears a dress!
Alex: Haha, good banter!
Vinnie: Fuck off.
(Katia and Jonas are kissing each other's shoulders.)
Jonas: Innocent...shoulder kissnig.
Katia: Yeah *giggles*
Jonas: It's all good.
Katia: Yeah *giggles*
Jonas: This isn't at all like the Siavash/Noirin situation.
Katia: Yeah *giggles*
Jonas: I love you.
Katia: Aww *giggles*
Jonas: I have something special in my drawer for you...
(He opens the drawer under his bed...and Sov pops out.)
Sov: ALRIGHT, MATES!!!
Katie: Oh *giggles*
Jonas: Sov what you doing in there!
Sov: Hiding in case anyone tries to make me wear a dress even though SECRETLY I know I look adorable in them and I'm already preparing answers to Davina's "WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT DRESS?" question! Innit!
Jonas: But wear are the...things?
Sisqo: Oh you mean the condoms? I made balloon animals out of those to amuse Nicola, Dawg! She clapped like a little girl!
Stephanie: GOOD FOR YOU, SISQO! You're a credit to your race!
Vinnie: Oww, love, I know your old, but don't say anything controversial or Four will pull the show early! Christ!
Stephen: Did somebody say...
Everyone: NO.
Stephen: Oh. BUT YOUR EYES SAY IT. They say things only I could see or understand! SCIENCE can't explain the things we see in the human eyes and don't even try to say it can! Do APES have eyes? NO! I see the thirst in your eyes, the thirst to drink from the Cup of Christ!
Jonas: What, like drink from his arsehole?
Katia: DRINK HIS FARTS! *giggles*
Jonas: You said it! *farts*
Katia: *farts and giggles*
(They put their asses together and fart into each other's arseholes.)
Nicola: OH NO, NOW YOUSE'LL BE PREGNANT!
Heidi: Thank God for abortions! And cocaine! I could use some right about now...
Nicola: Oh yeah, that reminders me! I have to tickle Alex in the balls with this emu feather without Sov seeing and I'll win some cocaine cakes for the house!
Alex: I'm up for that! If you've ever read a press story saying I'm not up for that, it was just press manipulation! Like when you tip off the paps that you're going out for a meal so they can photo you and get your mug in the papers, but instead they report that you're actaully going out to film a PORN MOVIE! THat's press manipulation, that is!
Vinnie: Yeah, you've probably had all kinds of things touching your balls.
Dane: Haha, yeah!
Alex: Oy oy, here comes the banter!
Vinnie: That's what your boyfriend said last night, you laddee-dah poofter!
Everyone: ...
Katia: *farts*
SHOW IS PULLED FOREVER AND SO IS FREESTYLE BB THE END
Nicola: Yeah like yeah...yeah...yeah...whadya mean?
Stephen: I can't tell you that in words. I can only direct you to the spirit.
Nicola: What, like alcohol? That's spirits, innit?
Stephen: Haha! Not that, but you'll know someday, when you know. When you KNOW what I mean, you'll be ready to KNOW what I mean and you will walk up to me and say "Stephen, I know what you mean." That is God's gift.
Nicola: What, like Santa?
(Stephen pinches her cheek like she's a child.)
Stephen: If my kids asked me if Santa was real because they were starting to like him more than Jesus...I'd have to tell them Santa isn't real. Think about that.
(He walks inside.)
Nicola: WAIT, WHADYA MEAN SANTA ISN'T REAL!?!?!?
Tree of Temptation: Oww, Nicola, pssst! Come over here.
Nicola: WHAD'S THAT? THE TREE CAN SPEAK!!?!? BUT TREES CAN'T SPEAK!?!?!? I'M SCARED!! OOOH, I'VE WET MESELF!
Tree: Oww, keep it down! Listen, if you can tickle Sisqo's feet with this giant ostrich feather without Sisqo knowing it was you, you will win a vat of fake cocaine for Heidi, but you can tell her it's real to keep her happy!
Nicola: WHADYA MEAN?
(In the house, Ivana is telling Hedi about her shoes.)
Ivana: Yes, they are shoes, yes, good shoes!
Heidi: One of my hookers used to wear shoes like that. She was beaten to death by a US senator. Life sucks, dude.
Ivana: Yes, haha, "suck", because you are, HOW YOU SAY, the salt vampire from Star Trek, haha!
Vinnie: She's the fucking "lying down wearing a sack" vampire if you ask me, hahahaha!
Dane: Hahaha, lying down!
(Alex walks by.)
Vinnie: And there's the fucking...wears a dress...vampire.
Dane: Hahaha, he does, he wears a dress!
Alex: Haha, good banter!
Vinnie: Fuck off.
(Katia and Jonas are kissing each other's shoulders.)
Jonas: Innocent...shoulder kissnig.
Katia: Yeah *giggles*
Jonas: It's all good.
Katia: Yeah *giggles*
Jonas: This isn't at all like the Siavash/Noirin situation.
Katia: Yeah *giggles*
Jonas: I love you.
Katia: Aww *giggles*
Jonas: I have something special in my drawer for you...
(He opens the drawer under his bed...and Sov pops out.)
Sov: ALRIGHT, MATES!!!
Katie: Oh *giggles*
Jonas: Sov what you doing in there!
Sov: Hiding in case anyone tries to make me wear a dress even though SECRETLY I know I look adorable in them and I'm already preparing answers to Davina's "WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT DRESS?" question! Innit!
Jonas: But wear are the...things?
Sisqo: Oh you mean the condoms? I made balloon animals out of those to amuse Nicola, Dawg! She clapped like a little girl!
Stephanie: GOOD FOR YOU, SISQO! You're a credit to your race!
Vinnie: Oww, love, I know your old, but don't say anything controversial or Four will pull the show early! Christ!
Stephen: Did somebody say...
Everyone: NO.
Stephen: Oh. BUT YOUR EYES SAY IT. They say things only I could see or understand! SCIENCE can't explain the things we see in the human eyes and don't even try to say it can! Do APES have eyes? NO! I see the thirst in your eyes, the thirst to drink from the Cup of Christ!
Jonas: What, like drink from his arsehole?
Katia: DRINK HIS FARTS! *giggles*
Jonas: You said it! *farts*
Katia: *farts and giggles*
(They put their asses together and fart into each other's arseholes.)
Nicola: OH NO, NOW YOUSE'LL BE PREGNANT!
Heidi: Thank God for abortions! And cocaine! I could use some right about now...
Nicola: Oh yeah, that reminders me! I have to tickle Alex in the balls with this emu feather without Sov seeing and I'll win some cocaine cakes for the house!
Alex: I'm up for that! If you've ever read a press story saying I'm not up for that, it was just press manipulation! Like when you tip off the paps that you're going out for a meal so they can photo you and get your mug in the papers, but instead they report that you're actaully going out to film a PORN MOVIE! THat's press manipulation, that is!
Vinnie: Yeah, you've probably had all kinds of things touching your balls.
Dane: Haha, yeah!
Alex: Oy oy, here comes the banter!
Vinnie: That's what your boyfriend said last night, you laddee-dah poofter!
Everyone: ...
Katia: *farts*
SHOW IS PULLED FOREVER AND SO IS FREESTYLE BB THE END
