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FREESTYLE Celebrity Big Brother

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
(Ashley, Harvey and The Situation are sitting in the garden.)

Ashley: Innit bruv.

Harvey: Innit bruv though innit.

The Situation: Like...dude...innit?

(Rhian walks by dressed as a giraffe.)

Ashley: Yo, innit, what's the matter My Girl? Ain't got a hug for your man?

Rhian: I don't want to give you the wrong idea...

Ashley: But we friends though, innit?

(Rhian gives Ashley a brief hug and walks away.)

Havey: Man I can't believe dat, bruv!

Ashley: You saw it too, bruv? Man! What a bitch, bruv!

Harvey: How she expect you to not get a hard on when she hug you like dat, bruve?

Ashley: Mixed signals though, innit bruv! Says she doesn't want me then she hugs me! Then she stops the hug! She doesn't carry on so I can feel her up! Prick-teaing, innit bruv!

Havey: I'd never let a woman do that to me, bruv. I remember one time when I was cheating on my wife I bought a girl, not the girl I was shagging but another one, a drink and she didn't say thank you or nuthink bruv!

Ashley: Didn't even suck you off though?

Harvey: Not even that, bruv!

Ashley: FUCK! Hey, where's The Situation?

(The Situation is talking to Danica.)

Danica: Oooh, Mike, I just want to be friends.

Situation: It's like...my heart...it's a delicate flower...I remember one time I was having a threesome with these two girls and I liked one more than the other, but the one I didn't like kept working my nipples, and I really wanted the other one too but she held back...I haven't hurt this much since then!

Danica: Look, I like Lorenzo now, okay, but we can still be close!

(She sticks her thumb up his bumhole then walks away.)

Coleen: Coo, those two crazy kids, they just need a good talking to.

Julie: I agree, a good talking to!

(Coleen walks away.)

Julie: What SHITE! They don't need TALKING TO. THAT'S SHITE. They need a good slapping! SHE TALKS SHITE.

Danica: Hi Julie!

Julie: Hi, let's do some GOOD TALKING!

TO BE CONTINUED MAYBE
 
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