CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Zebe: Claims to be "just a nice guy" looking for a "nice girl who isn't shallow and just into looks and social skills." Says that he's looking for a girlfriend and aww isn't he cute with those puppy dog eyes. Is sick of girls walking all over him and is going to "step out of the friendsone and into the ASSKICKING ZONE!" Claims that he'll show his "true self" one day while his VT shows him burning a woman to death Grand Theft Auto: Burn Women To Death Edition. Cheered on the way in.
Penelope: Posh mixed race girl who smiles a lot in her VT and says her favourite tv show is Only Connect and that she doesn't like arguments. Booed going in.
Soldier: Insanely bad rapper. Tries to perform a rap on the way in but he isn't micced up and no one can hear. Mixed reaction going in. Evicted second.
Trish: Claims that she'll "fuck anyone, even you, baby" in her VT and that she'll "fuck the first person or object she sees in the house, man or woman, I don't give a fuck I just love to fuck. I might not even wait until going in, I might fuck the whole audience!" Claims no knowledge or memory of ever saying this when Emma interviews her on the way in. Reveals she has a boyfriend and is completely edited out of the show thereafter. Booed.
Brad: Claims to have "shagged over five thousand birds and some of them were even sober, like." Says he'll have up to four women "frother at the gash" for him at any one time in the house and will "string them along until they're practically raping me." Cheered loudly going in.
Kittee: Claims to have "never read a book" and that she doesn't even know they "used to be made out of paper." Says "the prime minster, who's that, do you mean the president, it's that Putin guy innit!" in her VT when asked who the Prime Minister is. Cheered.
Jason: 40 year old school teacher. Walks after three days and never mentioned again.
Linda: Claims to be "not a cougar, but a TIGER!" but doesn't explain what this means. 39 but looks 50. Is terminally boring and evicted first. Booed.
Meltz: Bisexual Italian who gropes Emma's bum going in and it ejected from the house four hours later. Cheered.
Lana: Claims other girls hate her because they're "jealous" and that she "only bitches when it's deserved." Bitches about everyone eight seconds after entering the house. Turned into an "ironic" hero figure by DigitalSpy who are fully convinced she'll win. Comes fifth.
Penelope: Posh mixed race girl who smiles a lot in her VT and says her favourite tv show is Only Connect and that she doesn't like arguments. Booed going in.
Soldier: Insanely bad rapper. Tries to perform a rap on the way in but he isn't micced up and no one can hear. Mixed reaction going in. Evicted second.
Trish: Claims that she'll "fuck anyone, even you, baby" in her VT and that she'll "fuck the first person or object she sees in the house, man or woman, I don't give a fuck I just love to fuck. I might not even wait until going in, I might fuck the whole audience!" Claims no knowledge or memory of ever saying this when Emma interviews her on the way in. Reveals she has a boyfriend and is completely edited out of the show thereafter. Booed.
Brad: Claims to have "shagged over five thousand birds and some of them were even sober, like." Says he'll have up to four women "frother at the gash" for him at any one time in the house and will "string them along until they're practically raping me." Cheered loudly going in.
Kittee: Claims to have "never read a book" and that she doesn't even know they "used to be made out of paper." Says "the prime minster, who's that, do you mean the president, it's that Putin guy innit!" in her VT when asked who the Prime Minister is. Cheered.
Jason: 40 year old school teacher. Walks after three days and never mentioned again.
Linda: Claims to be "not a cougar, but a TIGER!" but doesn't explain what this means. 39 but looks 50. Is terminally boring and evicted first. Booed.
Meltz: Bisexual Italian who gropes Emma's bum going in and it ejected from the house four hours later. Cheered.
Lana: Claims other girls hate her because they're "jealous" and that she "only bitches when it's deserved." Bitches about everyone eight seconds after entering the house. Turned into an "ironic" hero figure by DigitalSpy who are fully convinced she'll win. Comes fifth.
