Conchaga
Let's fuck some shit up
OK, I've done a lot of research about this subject.
First, let's discuss what THC is. THC (TetraHydroCannabinol) is the main psychoactive ingredient in Marijuana.
3-D model:
The higher the THC count of the weed you're smoking, the higher you'll get. THC, unlike other drugs, has the longest detection period of any drug you may use. For example, Cocaine, ecstasy, and LSD will all leave your system within four days. Marijuana sticks in your fat cells (depending on how many you have; eg how fat you are) anywhere from one to three weeks on average. There are other factors that you have to include, like metabolism, activity, and frequency of use. If you're a skinny person who has a rather high metabolism and you only smoke once every week or so, THC will flush from your system within a week or two. Yet, if you're a fat slob who doesn't work out and smokes a ton of pot, the THC will stick to you for up to five weeks.
THC has shown to be far less risky of an intoxicant than any other drug on the market; alcohol included. The chance you have of dying from smoking pot is 1000:1. You'd have to smoke 1,500lbs of marijuana in less than 15 minutes in order to reach toxicity levels high enough to cause death. Yet, Alcohol has a risk ratio of 10:1 (AND THIS SHIT IS LEGAL!). However, they don't test to see if you're an alcoholic before you work most places. They DO however test for use of marijuana. Why? Because Reagan thought it'd be a good idea to test the US military and government workers for drug usage. Perhaps he realized that people who smoked weed were less obedient or brain-washable than those who don't. After that, most companies in the US and the UK started testing their potential and current employees for marijuana. Either way, we're stuck with this immoral rule of having to pass drug tests for most jobs and all government work.
Seeing as how I disagree with drug testing, I'm going to teach you how to pass a drug test.
Note: I may list some brand name chemicals, but I refuse to link to their sites. If you really want to learn more, go to www.google.com. Or, you can PM me and I'll answer your question privately!
There are several different kinds of drug tests. All of them have varying degrees of success in discovering if you use marijuana. These tests are as follows, listed from lowest success ratio to the nearly impossible to defeat tests: home tests bought at any local drug store; clinic tests used for most pre-screening at a lot of employers; civilian laboratory testing; and finally US and UK government tests used in a variety of jobs, most notably the military.
There are three main ways to defeat a drug test: masking, flushing, and substitution.
I'll start with the least effective to the most effective.
Masking
Masking is where you take a medicine or a chemical in order to try and cover up the THC. Most commonly heard of is bleach. If you drink 1/2 oz of bleach you can effectively mask the THC in your system. The problem with this, however, is that it doesn't cause a negative test result. It causes an inconclusive result. Most pre-screening clinics will make you come back and test again. I don't recommend masking as most of the time the tests are inconclusive or the clinic or lab tests for the substance that masks the THC. Most notably is Klear.
Another way of masking your urine is using saline in your normal sample. Most commonly used is visene. Problem is, it doesn't completely mask the THC and your test could come back inconclusive again.
Moral of the story, masking doesn't work that well, but you can definitely use it to fool home tests all you want. Past that, you're pushing your luck.
Flushing
This is probably the most common and simplest of solutions. Although, to me it's probably the most complicated. Flushing is where you do exactly that: try and speed up the process of metabolizing the THC in your system. There are dozens of different ways to flush the THC from your body. I'm only going to list a few. The most effective methods.
1. Buying a flushing drink from your local head shop. Most of these are fairly effective but the cost range is about $15 - $20 US. Also, you need to know where your local head shop is. Most infrequent users won't know that. These drinks are pretty effective if you follow their instructions to the letter. It also helps to quit smoking at least a few days before the test.
2. Water. Water is the main ingredient in your urine. If you drink a lot of it before a test (anywhere from 32oz to 1gallon), most infrequent users can effectively reduce the THC levels to a passable amount. There are some drawbacks to flushing with water, but the infrequent users won't encounter those. I do have to mention the riskiest of side-effects: hyponatremia. If you aren't used to drinking a lot of water, you can cause hyponatremia when you do flush your system. Hyponatremia is where the sodium levels in your body drop to nearly 0. When this happens some things may occur: nausea, vomiting, convulsions, or coma. The best way to keep this from happening is to drink pedialite or just drink Propel instead of tap/mineral water. The next section covers the frequent users.
3. Water + vitamin supplements. I see a lot of talk on the internet about Niacin (vitamin B-3). I hate to tell you folks, it's not conclusive as to whether Niacin actually flushes the THC. It's also very risky if you mega-dose yourself with it before a drug test. Taking 100 to 500 times the daily recommended dosage of 15mg can be fatal. I'll repeat that. Taking 100 to 500 times the recommended dosage of 15mg (that's 1,500mg to 7,500mg) can be fatal. The next problem is that it's like putting a flashing siren on your sample. Niacin drains needed vitamins from your system. Creatine and B-12 most notably.
Now, don't get me wrong. I actually do think Niacin can be helpful. It helps to hasten your body's lipid reproduction. Therefore, it removes the cells that contain the THC and replaces them with clean ones. However, you have to take it in moderation. Be smart about it. You can take anywhere from 250mg- 750mg of niacin daily before you start to damage your liver. Oh, always make sure you're taking regular Niacin, not the extended release stuff. The extended release Niacin bathes your liver in Niacin for 24 hours. That's the equivalent of keeping yourself drunk all day every day. Eventually your liver will quit and you're gonna die. The most common, harmless side-effect of taking Niacin is the skin flushing. Your skin will feel like it has a 2nd degree sunburn from your waist up. It lasts for about 30min then goes away. Trust me, it's frightening the first time it happens. Next, make sure you balance it out with taking a normal B-12 supplement. Any over the counter, low-dosage, B-12 will work. In fact, you should be taking a B complex anyway, if you smoke pot. It helps to deal with the memory loss issue, too. As for the creatine, just eat a big fat cheese burger the day of the test. Or eat a lot of bacon. Better yet, eat a bacon cheeseburger. Whatever red meat you like, chow down. When you combine this technique with the water technique, you'll pretty much flush the THC within a few days. Remember! STOP SMOKING AT LEAST TWO DAYS BEFORE THE TEST FOR BEST RESULTS!
On a final note about technique with flushing or masking. Never use the first part of your urine stream. Always use the middle. THC is denser than your regular urine. It will be the first thing you piss out. The middle of your urine stream is cleaner. Now, let's move on to the 100% most effective way to pass a drug test.
Substitution
There are a plethora of ways to substitute your urine... and I mean A LOT. You can buy powdered urine from a lab. You can even make your own powdered urine. You can bottle and freeze your own, clean urine for later use (only thaw and re-freeze twice). You can get some piss from a friend you know is clean. Gender doesn't factor in with these tests, so you can get the tinkle from anyone you like.
Now, the hard part about this method is the absolute precision with which it has to be done. Most clinics test for temperature in your sample. If it's too cold, you'll have to go again. Problem is, most people only bring one clear sample and the second test is most likely watched, so you'll have to use your own sample.
The container. You can use any type of delivery container you like. The best for these are un-lubed, non spermicidal condoms, or any small bottle that doesn't contain any other chemicals. Just make sure it's small. If you're using a condom, don't tie it off. You may not be able to get it untied. Twist it up then fold it over and use a twist tie. Tying it and trying to use a needle could cause messy, if not disastrous, results.
Location of the sample on your body. The reason you want the container to be small is as follows. The best location in the case of men, is on your taint/gooch. That spot between your asshole and your balls. In the case of women, in your vagina. Or, if you're not comfortable with that, under your breast. These locations will assure that your sample will be warm enough to fool the test. I highly recommend pre-heating (not boiling) the sample before you go, then tape (or insert) the container in the appropriate place. Water, kept close to the body will only cool about two degrees per hour. When kept in the right place, it'll maintain the same body temp as you.
Practice hiding and testing the temperature at home. When you know your method works, do the real thing. I really do insist on using the flushing system as a backup.
There you have it. These are the best ways to fool a urinalysis drug test. As for the hair test. That'll be another thread.
Good sources for more information:
http://www.erowid.org/psychoactives/testing/testing_faq.shtml
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drug_testing
http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/display/article/10168/58221
http://www.marijuana.com/urine-testing/
http://forum.grasscity.com/apprentice-tokers/36557-offical-how-pass-dt.html
http://www.angelfire.com/clone2/darkcorner/urinetest.html
http://passyourdrugtest.com/kits/urine-test.htm
First, let's discuss what THC is. THC (TetraHydroCannabinol) is the main psychoactive ingredient in Marijuana.
3-D model:
The higher the THC count of the weed you're smoking, the higher you'll get. THC, unlike other drugs, has the longest detection period of any drug you may use. For example, Cocaine, ecstasy, and LSD will all leave your system within four days. Marijuana sticks in your fat cells (depending on how many you have; eg how fat you are) anywhere from one to three weeks on average. There are other factors that you have to include, like metabolism, activity, and frequency of use. If you're a skinny person who has a rather high metabolism and you only smoke once every week or so, THC will flush from your system within a week or two. Yet, if you're a fat slob who doesn't work out and smokes a ton of pot, the THC will stick to you for up to five weeks.
THC has shown to be far less risky of an intoxicant than any other drug on the market; alcohol included. The chance you have of dying from smoking pot is 1000:1. You'd have to smoke 1,500lbs of marijuana in less than 15 minutes in order to reach toxicity levels high enough to cause death. Yet, Alcohol has a risk ratio of 10:1 (AND THIS SHIT IS LEGAL!). However, they don't test to see if you're an alcoholic before you work most places. They DO however test for use of marijuana. Why? Because Reagan thought it'd be a good idea to test the US military and government workers for drug usage. Perhaps he realized that people who smoked weed were less obedient or brain-washable than those who don't. After that, most companies in the US and the UK started testing their potential and current employees for marijuana. Either way, we're stuck with this immoral rule of having to pass drug tests for most jobs and all government work.
Seeing as how I disagree with drug testing, I'm going to teach you how to pass a drug test.
Note: I may list some brand name chemicals, but I refuse to link to their sites. If you really want to learn more, go to www.google.com. Or, you can PM me and I'll answer your question privately!
There are several different kinds of drug tests. All of them have varying degrees of success in discovering if you use marijuana. These tests are as follows, listed from lowest success ratio to the nearly impossible to defeat tests: home tests bought at any local drug store; clinic tests used for most pre-screening at a lot of employers; civilian laboratory testing; and finally US and UK government tests used in a variety of jobs, most notably the military.
There are three main ways to defeat a drug test: masking, flushing, and substitution.
I'll start with the least effective to the most effective.
Masking
Masking is where you take a medicine or a chemical in order to try and cover up the THC. Most commonly heard of is bleach. If you drink 1/2 oz of bleach you can effectively mask the THC in your system. The problem with this, however, is that it doesn't cause a negative test result. It causes an inconclusive result. Most pre-screening clinics will make you come back and test again. I don't recommend masking as most of the time the tests are inconclusive or the clinic or lab tests for the substance that masks the THC. Most notably is Klear.
Another way of masking your urine is using saline in your normal sample. Most commonly used is visene. Problem is, it doesn't completely mask the THC and your test could come back inconclusive again.
Moral of the story, masking doesn't work that well, but you can definitely use it to fool home tests all you want. Past that, you're pushing your luck.
Flushing
This is probably the most common and simplest of solutions. Although, to me it's probably the most complicated. Flushing is where you do exactly that: try and speed up the process of metabolizing the THC in your system. There are dozens of different ways to flush the THC from your body. I'm only going to list a few. The most effective methods.
1. Buying a flushing drink from your local head shop. Most of these are fairly effective but the cost range is about $15 - $20 US. Also, you need to know where your local head shop is. Most infrequent users won't know that. These drinks are pretty effective if you follow their instructions to the letter. It also helps to quit smoking at least a few days before the test.
2. Water. Water is the main ingredient in your urine. If you drink a lot of it before a test (anywhere from 32oz to 1gallon), most infrequent users can effectively reduce the THC levels to a passable amount. There are some drawbacks to flushing with water, but the infrequent users won't encounter those. I do have to mention the riskiest of side-effects: hyponatremia. If you aren't used to drinking a lot of water, you can cause hyponatremia when you do flush your system. Hyponatremia is where the sodium levels in your body drop to nearly 0. When this happens some things may occur: nausea, vomiting, convulsions, or coma. The best way to keep this from happening is to drink pedialite or just drink Propel instead of tap/mineral water. The next section covers the frequent users.
3. Water + vitamin supplements. I see a lot of talk on the internet about Niacin (vitamin B-3). I hate to tell you folks, it's not conclusive as to whether Niacin actually flushes the THC. It's also very risky if you mega-dose yourself with it before a drug test. Taking 100 to 500 times the daily recommended dosage of 15mg can be fatal. I'll repeat that. Taking 100 to 500 times the recommended dosage of 15mg (that's 1,500mg to 7,500mg) can be fatal. The next problem is that it's like putting a flashing siren on your sample. Niacin drains needed vitamins from your system. Creatine and B-12 most notably.
Now, don't get me wrong. I actually do think Niacin can be helpful. It helps to hasten your body's lipid reproduction. Therefore, it removes the cells that contain the THC and replaces them with clean ones. However, you have to take it in moderation. Be smart about it. You can take anywhere from 250mg- 750mg of niacin daily before you start to damage your liver. Oh, always make sure you're taking regular Niacin, not the extended release stuff. The extended release Niacin bathes your liver in Niacin for 24 hours. That's the equivalent of keeping yourself drunk all day every day. Eventually your liver will quit and you're gonna die. The most common, harmless side-effect of taking Niacin is the skin flushing. Your skin will feel like it has a 2nd degree sunburn from your waist up. It lasts for about 30min then goes away. Trust me, it's frightening the first time it happens. Next, make sure you balance it out with taking a normal B-12 supplement. Any over the counter, low-dosage, B-12 will work. In fact, you should be taking a B complex anyway, if you smoke pot. It helps to deal with the memory loss issue, too. As for the creatine, just eat a big fat cheese burger the day of the test. Or eat a lot of bacon. Better yet, eat a bacon cheeseburger. Whatever red meat you like, chow down. When you combine this technique with the water technique, you'll pretty much flush the THC within a few days. Remember! STOP SMOKING AT LEAST TWO DAYS BEFORE THE TEST FOR BEST RESULTS!
On a final note about technique with flushing or masking. Never use the first part of your urine stream. Always use the middle. THC is denser than your regular urine. It will be the first thing you piss out. The middle of your urine stream is cleaner. Now, let's move on to the 100% most effective way to pass a drug test.
Substitution
There are a plethora of ways to substitute your urine... and I mean A LOT. You can buy powdered urine from a lab. You can even make your own powdered urine. You can bottle and freeze your own, clean urine for later use (only thaw and re-freeze twice). You can get some piss from a friend you know is clean. Gender doesn't factor in with these tests, so you can get the tinkle from anyone you like.
Now, the hard part about this method is the absolute precision with which it has to be done. Most clinics test for temperature in your sample. If it's too cold, you'll have to go again. Problem is, most people only bring one clear sample and the second test is most likely watched, so you'll have to use your own sample.
The container. You can use any type of delivery container you like. The best for these are un-lubed, non spermicidal condoms, or any small bottle that doesn't contain any other chemicals. Just make sure it's small. If you're using a condom, don't tie it off. You may not be able to get it untied. Twist it up then fold it over and use a twist tie. Tying it and trying to use a needle could cause messy, if not disastrous, results.
Location of the sample on your body. The reason you want the container to be small is as follows. The best location in the case of men, is on your taint/gooch. That spot between your asshole and your balls. In the case of women, in your vagina. Or, if you're not comfortable with that, under your breast. These locations will assure that your sample will be warm enough to fool the test. I highly recommend pre-heating (not boiling) the sample before you go, then tape (or insert) the container in the appropriate place. Water, kept close to the body will only cool about two degrees per hour. When kept in the right place, it'll maintain the same body temp as you.
Practice hiding and testing the temperature at home. When you know your method works, do the real thing. I really do insist on using the flushing system as a backup.
There you have it. These are the best ways to fool a urinalysis drug test. As for the hair test. That'll be another thread.
Good sources for more information:
http://www.erowid.org/psychoactives/testing/testing_faq.shtml
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drug_testing
http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/display/article/10168/58221
http://www.marijuana.com/urine-testing/
http://forum.grasscity.com/apprentice-tokers/36557-offical-how-pass-dt.html
http://www.angelfire.com/clone2/darkcorner/urinetest.html
http://passyourdrugtest.com/kits/urine-test.htm
