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How To Repel A Nigger.

The Question

The Question

Eternal
So sitting here in the cafe, I look up to see a nigger plunk down at the next computer over. Not a black man -- a nigger. 49 degrees outside and this thing is wearing the stereotypical baggy shorts and some kind of basketball jersey six sizes too large for it with nothing on underneath, the whole napkin-under-a-hat-turned-68-degrees-off-kilter-and-worn-upside-down headgear adventure. I'm surprised the retarded animal isn't trying to use the mouse by holding it in the air sideways.

So I'm sitting here, and EVERY FUCKING TIME I look up, it's staring at me with the weird bug-eyed expression these things typically get when they're trying to be intimidating.

How to respond, you ask? Here's TQ's answer: I clenched up the aul' intestinal wall and BLASTED a bowel-ful of sulphur gas. Swear to God I levitated in my chair.

It looked like the thing had a fucking spasm before leaping out of the chair and relocating itself.

That's how it's done.
 
Disgusting but effective.

I generally just stare at them like, "Please, nigger, do it, white girl got a gun and you KNOW the cops in this city are racist!" Then they usually hit on me by saying, "Damn shorty, you look good, Mmmm-mmm-mm." And I smile like white bread America and politely continue to ignore them.
 
When given that head-bouncin' "gangsta" look, I return an appraising once-over that determines how easy they would be to kill.

That makes them nervous. Sometimes, though, I get a nod.

(shrug)
 
The Question said:
So sitting here in the cafe, I look up to see a nigger plunk down at the next computer over. Not a black man -- a nigger. 49 degrees outside and this thing is wearing the stereotypical baggy shorts and some kind of basketball jersey six sizes too large for it with nothing on underneath, the whole napkin-under-a-hat-turned-68-degrees-off-kilter-and-worn-upside-down headgear adventure. I'm surprised the retarded animal isn't trying to use the mouse by holding it in the air sideways.

So I'm sitting here, and EVERY FUCKING TIME I look up, it's staring at me with the weird bug-eyed expression these things typically get when they're trying to be intimidating.

How to respond, you ask? Here's TQ's answer: I clenched up the aul' intestinal wall and BLASTED a bowel-ful of sulphur gas. Swear to God I levitated in my chair.

It looked like the thing had a fucking spasm before leaping out of the chair and relocating itself.

That's how it's done.
Click to expand...

Good call. I know for a fact niggers can't stand the smell of a white male's bowels. Back in the Army, I always enjoyed occupying the stall between two nigs and turning loose... it wasn't long before they unassed the area.

It's a primal thing... we mark our territory by pissing, farting and shitting.
 
clapping.gif
 
^^Conan O'Brien is a freak. But there are two things which it is very important to remember:

1. Conan O'Brien gets paid for it; he is a professional freak.

2. Conan O'Brien is not as mind-bogglingly huge a freak as thou art.
 
The Question said:
So sitting here in the cafe, I look up to see a nigger plunk down at the next computer over. Not a black man -- a nigger. 49 degrees outside and this thing is wearing the stereotypical baggy shorts and some kind of basketball jersey six sizes too large for it with nothing on underneath, the whole napkin-under-a-hat-turned-68-degrees-off-kilter-and-worn-upside-down headgear adventure. I'm surprised the retarded animal isn't trying to use the mouse by holding it in the air sideways.

So I'm sitting here, and EVERY FUCKING TIME I look up, it's staring at me with the weird bug-eyed expression these things typically get when they're trying to be intimidating.

How to respond, you ask? Here's TQ's answer: I clenched up the aul' intestinal wall and BLASTED a bowel-ful of sulphur gas. Swear to God I levitated in my chair.

It looked like the thing had a fucking spasm before leaping out of the chair and relocating itself.

That's how it's done.
Click to expand...

That was me you moron. I thought it was you but I was looking to make sure. And damn, your ass sure do stink.
 
When confronted by Afr0-Americans, I usually;
1. Get that crazy "I ride the short bus" look on my face
2. Jump up on the table, drop my drawers & squat
3. Pinch a loaf
4. Ask Mr. AfroSheen, "Will you wipe my bum?"

I've never had a problem because they run.
 
The Question said:
So sitting here in the cafe, I look up to see a nigger plunk down at the next computer over. Not a black man -- a nigger. 49 degrees outside and this thing is wearing the stereotypical baggy shorts and some kind of basketball jersey six sizes too large for it with nothing on underneath, the whole napkin-under-a-hat-turned-68-degrees-off-kilter-and-worn-upside-down headgear adventure. I'm surprised the retarded animal isn't trying to use the mouse by holding it in the air sideways.

So I'm sitting here, and EVERY FUCKING TIME I look up, it's staring at me with the weird bug-eyed expression these things typically get when they're trying to be intimidating.

How to respond, you ask? Here's TQ's answer: I clenched up the aul' intestinal wall and BLASTED a bowel-ful of sulphur gas. Swear to God I levitated in my chair.

It looked like the thing had a fucking spasm before leaping out of the chair and relocating itself.

That's how it's done.
Click to expand...

Um..

I'm not going to comment on the "nigger" thing dude, but I'm thinking he blipped on your gaydar and you tripped.
 
Laker_Girl said:
Disgusting but effective.

I generally just stare at them like, "Please, nigger, do it, white girl got a gun and you KNOW the cops in this city are racist!" Then they usually hit on me by saying, "Damn shorty, you look good, Mmmm-mmm-mm." And I smile like white bread America and politely continue to ignore them.
Click to expand...

..then you masturbate in the car on the way home.
 
jack said:
We don't have niggers in Vermont :(
Click to expand...

they got stuck with you..thats more than enough for one state.

Oh but I heard you're a really nice guy jackie....:) and I like you...;)
 
Daystrom said:
Um..

I'm not going to comment on the "nigger" thing dude, but I'm thinking he blipped on your gaydar and you tripped.
Click to expand...

Aw, would that make you feel better? Not sure why you'd need to feel better about me calling the guy a nigger; that's exactly what he dressed, walked, talked and acted like. Said before, will say again: if you don't like a stereotype, don't personify it. Obviously, this particular cat in the story I related wanted to be thought of that way or he would have presented himself as something else.
 
The Question said:
So sitting here in the cafe, I look up to see a nigger plunk down at the next computer over. Not a black man -- a nigger. 49 degrees outside and this thing is wearing the stereotypical baggy shorts and some kind of basketball jersey six sizes too large for it with nothing on underneath, the whole napkin-under-a-hat-turned-68-degrees-off-kilter-and-worn-upside-down headgear adventure. I'm surprised the retarded animal isn't trying to use the mouse by holding it in the air sideways.

So I'm sitting here, and EVERY FUCKING TIME I look up, it's staring at me with the weird bug-eyed expression these things typically get when they're trying to be intimidating.

How to respond, you ask? Here's TQ's answer: I clenched up the aul' intestinal wall and BLASTED a bowel-ful of sulphur gas. Swear to God I levitated in my chair.

It looked like the thing had a fucking spasm before leaping out of the chair and relocating itself.

That's how it's done.
Click to expand...

How the fuck did you manage to stay in the same room when it swung itself into the chair to begin with? You can smell that Jeri curl crap a mile away and the stench is enough to make a vulture retch up it's rancid lunch.
 
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