Turd
New member
In the early days, when we felt young and the world was new, a pretend "it" girl known as Cassandra gave an incestuous blow job to her split personality counterpart internet geek, whom she had Pablo Diablo Shallblo. Pablo, in his infinite ignorance had decided that owning a message board was a good idea and she, he or whatever it would prefer to be known as, since creative writing was the best way to generate a huge membership.
Now Pablo knew that his real name of Birgit couldn't be used, but he also knew that if he really wanted to attract people to the new board he could do so by maintaining his persona of a man who liked to bugger Klingons. Accordingly, after reviewing greek mythology and reflecting on his time sifting through rubble at Ground Zero on September 12 2001 he realised that the name Cassandra was appropriate. He adopted it and became a she again. Knowing that that board was about to become a Star Trek bbs spin off Cassandra settled on the apt name of WordForge. Once that was done, she enlisted the help of her servant Borgs, who had previously studied with Skeletor under the evil Hordak. Borgs was charged with enlisting in the more colourful denizens of trekbbs, and Kirk1ADM. The fact that his balls hadn't yet dropped and the consequent inability to masturbate over Firefly dvds meant that Borgs had plenty of free time on his hand. This resulted in a mass PMing and half of the the infamous Neutral Zone, except for President Entepriser, duly transferred over to WordForge once they realised that they could have bigger avatars and fancy green pips. No longer was it satisficatory to attain the rank of Fleet Admiral, they wanted much, much more.
Now life was much better for the new disciples of WordForge. Long gone was the need to complain about the over use of Entepriser's account by the consortium of Lisa. Long gone were dodgy IGN banners and board skins the color of urinal blocks. Posting was awash with energy and vibrancy. Members could now use the words fuck and cunt in open posts. All life's stresses suddenly melted away.
Things seemed okay for a while. But there was a Storm brewing, a cold front with strength and staying power that outclassed the more brash and short lived Hurricane Jeriko. This Storm had surrounded itself with a whole maelstrom of bad weather. Soon Cassandra was forced to retreat to Thailand in search of weather damaged clothing on the beach in order to protect herself. Unable to find herself the thermal thongs she needed, and having lost her disposable camara in a freak deep sea diving accident, she reluctantly returned home. She doescovered that her popularity had sunk so low that she was never going to be able to continue with the excitement and frivolity that the board has seen when introduced. A bit like her hero, Ralph Nader, the cold Storm front kept popping back up like a turd that wouldn't flush. Reluctantly she was forced to consider giving up control over her baby.
What was Cass to do about the board? Whose safe hands could it be placed in? Borgs, who had recently returned from his second prize success at the International Adrian Brody Lookalike Championships, had been making suggestions for the board's running for sometime and it was obvious he was the man. Cass knew from her many high profile socialite evenings in the sci-fi bars of Linz that her greatest profit was to be made by selling the board to a penniless teenage Trekkie from England. And so the transaction did go forth the glory that was Wordforge was pass to Borgs for the inflated sum of £5.50.
Now, Cass knew that Borgs had to have his time at the helm and to really shine. She decided to leave the board in 2005 and took herself off to London for a well deserved holiday of travelling the tube with large rucksacks.
Borgs, meanwhile, had become a vBullettin whizz. Now the board members had more to keep themselves occupied then just threads. We had a portal, games to place, a porn forum and new members were joining. All was well again. But alas, the smell of a heavy log began to waft once more. Borgs began to come under fire. Why? Appararently he wouldn't listen to what anybody had to say.
Cassandra in the meantime had returned. However, no longer satisfied with the persona of Greek Goddess, having realised that Google Images was running out of pictures of random brunettes, she became a roman centurian. This new persona allowed her to lurk the board and then compile the much revered "WordForge Report". Having realised that she was far superior to Borgs in every way she set out concisely in 40 pages why only she knew how to rectify things. Borgs refused to listen, instead telling everyone that only he knew what was best. Even the boy wonder Baron Von Walz was told to shove it, even though Borgs had relied on him so heavily.
He was going to have to get rid of the board, but he simply didn't want to. Borgs sought refuge in chat while powers conspired against him. A pretend policeman, who apparently had plenty of time in between donut breaks to run a bulletin board, engaged in a devious conspiracy. Borgs never saw what was coming and the rug was pulled from under his feet. Held down on a carpet and muzzled with a used bag of M & Ms from the Kitchens residence, he was paid a peppercorn in transfer monies and extorting into giving up ownership. Curiously, those who had disagreed with Borgs became admin staff and the Baba became the board celebrity.
In came Elwood, the pretend policeman. Elwood knew that he was going to have to excercise tight control. Gone were Borgs' "enhancements" and a bog standard board stood in its place. WordForge became an online labour camp as Elwoods lived out his fantasies of Miami Vice and CHiPs re-runs on the hallowed turf that had once been a refuge for those escaping oppression. Nobody was safe. Bannings began left right and centre. Even those who dared question the level of Elwood's donut intake were banished, forced to hide on Troll Kingdom, the very place that had once been looked down about by those of EliteForge, now becoming home to the fallen. Even the porn forum was ripped for the clutches of the board virgins and Dan Leach, who relied on it for their daily masturbation needs.
Soon began the biggest unrest WordForge had ever seen. Members left, Troll Kingdom became more popular, Trekbbs seemed mature and sensible, and teh Baba changed his avatar. The board sank into crisis.
By winter 2007 the board was clinging to life. There was only one who could bring balance to the Forge.
Teh Baba.
Slowly, as months passed, the board improved. Porn returned, as did banned members. Why were things getting better? Nobody knew. The Storm front was pleased that teh Baba had control and at the same time the likes of Baron Von Walz and T'Bonz Garish could keep order.
Nobody knew why the chosen one brought balance. How he was strongest with the forge. How he could bring unity so well. How was he such a master manipulator? It was never be understood as what no WordForger ever new was the that teh Baba......
Now Pablo knew that his real name of Birgit couldn't be used, but he also knew that if he really wanted to attract people to the new board he could do so by maintaining his persona of a man who liked to bugger Klingons. Accordingly, after reviewing greek mythology and reflecting on his time sifting through rubble at Ground Zero on September 12 2001 he realised that the name Cassandra was appropriate. He adopted it and became a she again. Knowing that that board was about to become a Star Trek bbs spin off Cassandra settled on the apt name of WordForge. Once that was done, she enlisted the help of her servant Borgs, who had previously studied with Skeletor under the evil Hordak. Borgs was charged with enlisting in the more colourful denizens of trekbbs, and Kirk1ADM. The fact that his balls hadn't yet dropped and the consequent inability to masturbate over Firefly dvds meant that Borgs had plenty of free time on his hand. This resulted in a mass PMing and half of the the infamous Neutral Zone, except for President Entepriser, duly transferred over to WordForge once they realised that they could have bigger avatars and fancy green pips. No longer was it satisficatory to attain the rank of Fleet Admiral, they wanted much, much more.
Now life was much better for the new disciples of WordForge. Long gone was the need to complain about the over use of Entepriser's account by the consortium of Lisa. Long gone were dodgy IGN banners and board skins the color of urinal blocks. Posting was awash with energy and vibrancy. Members could now use the words fuck and cunt in open posts. All life's stresses suddenly melted away.
Things seemed okay for a while. But there was a Storm brewing, a cold front with strength and staying power that outclassed the more brash and short lived Hurricane Jeriko. This Storm had surrounded itself with a whole maelstrom of bad weather. Soon Cassandra was forced to retreat to Thailand in search of weather damaged clothing on the beach in order to protect herself. Unable to find herself the thermal thongs she needed, and having lost her disposable camara in a freak deep sea diving accident, she reluctantly returned home. She doescovered that her popularity had sunk so low that she was never going to be able to continue with the excitement and frivolity that the board has seen when introduced. A bit like her hero, Ralph Nader, the cold Storm front kept popping back up like a turd that wouldn't flush. Reluctantly she was forced to consider giving up control over her baby.
What was Cass to do about the board? Whose safe hands could it be placed in? Borgs, who had recently returned from his second prize success at the International Adrian Brody Lookalike Championships, had been making suggestions for the board's running for sometime and it was obvious he was the man. Cass knew from her many high profile socialite evenings in the sci-fi bars of Linz that her greatest profit was to be made by selling the board to a penniless teenage Trekkie from England. And so the transaction did go forth the glory that was Wordforge was pass to Borgs for the inflated sum of £5.50.
Now, Cass knew that Borgs had to have his time at the helm and to really shine. She decided to leave the board in 2005 and took herself off to London for a well deserved holiday of travelling the tube with large rucksacks.
Borgs, meanwhile, had become a vBullettin whizz. Now the board members had more to keep themselves occupied then just threads. We had a portal, games to place, a porn forum and new members were joining. All was well again. But alas, the smell of a heavy log began to waft once more. Borgs began to come under fire. Why? Appararently he wouldn't listen to what anybody had to say.
Cassandra in the meantime had returned. However, no longer satisfied with the persona of Greek Goddess, having realised that Google Images was running out of pictures of random brunettes, she became a roman centurian. This new persona allowed her to lurk the board and then compile the much revered "WordForge Report". Having realised that she was far superior to Borgs in every way she set out concisely in 40 pages why only she knew how to rectify things. Borgs refused to listen, instead telling everyone that only he knew what was best. Even the boy wonder Baron Von Walz was told to shove it, even though Borgs had relied on him so heavily.
He was going to have to get rid of the board, but he simply didn't want to. Borgs sought refuge in chat while powers conspired against him. A pretend policeman, who apparently had plenty of time in between donut breaks to run a bulletin board, engaged in a devious conspiracy. Borgs never saw what was coming and the rug was pulled from under his feet. Held down on a carpet and muzzled with a used bag of M & Ms from the Kitchens residence, he was paid a peppercorn in transfer monies and extorting into giving up ownership. Curiously, those who had disagreed with Borgs became admin staff and the Baba became the board celebrity.
In came Elwood, the pretend policeman. Elwood knew that he was going to have to excercise tight control. Gone were Borgs' "enhancements" and a bog standard board stood in its place. WordForge became an online labour camp as Elwoods lived out his fantasies of Miami Vice and CHiPs re-runs on the hallowed turf that had once been a refuge for those escaping oppression. Nobody was safe. Bannings began left right and centre. Even those who dared question the level of Elwood's donut intake were banished, forced to hide on Troll Kingdom, the very place that had once been looked down about by those of EliteForge, now becoming home to the fallen. Even the porn forum was ripped for the clutches of the board virgins and Dan Leach, who relied on it for their daily masturbation needs.
Soon began the biggest unrest WordForge had ever seen. Members left, Troll Kingdom became more popular, Trekbbs seemed mature and sensible, and teh Baba changed his avatar. The board sank into crisis.
By winter 2007 the board was clinging to life. There was only one who could bring balance to the Forge.
Teh Baba.
Slowly, as months passed, the board improved. Porn returned, as did banned members. Why were things getting better? Nobody knew. The Storm front was pleased that teh Baba had control and at the same time the likes of Baron Von Walz and T'Bonz Garish could keep order.
Nobody knew why the chosen one brought balance. How he was strongest with the forge. How he could bring unity so well. How was he such a master manipulator? It was never be understood as what no WordForger ever new was the that teh Baba......
...was Pablo Diablo himself.
