Volpone
Zombie Hunter
...or incur an expensive trip to the ER. I hope. My first attempt at prime rib for Christmas, which is another story, and after eating the stuff 2 meals a day, going on 3 days, I had the last of it on my plate for lunch. 3/4 of the way through the meal and something's not right. The food hasn't gone all the way down and is blocking the esophagus. Not the windpipe, but the esophagus. Don't freak out. Assess the situation. Can you breath? Yes. Can you talk? Yes. Can you wash it down with beer? No. Water? No. Can you retch it back up? No. Jumping around didn't work, lying back didn't work, leaning forward didn't work.
So I did what anyone does in the 21st century: Hit Google. Apparently it's a fairly common thing and apparently I'm in the prime demographic to experience it. The #1 cure (even used in ERs)? Drinking cola. "Or other carbonated beverage." Since I already had a beer open, I thought I'd give that another shot. It worked. A little. But not in a fun way. I managed to retch a little chunk up. So I went to get an RC cola out of the fridge. While I was out there I had a sip of olive oil too. Butter was one of the suggestions on one site, working as a lube. I figured olive oil was a better option. Then I headed back to the bathroom and took a sip of RC. And just a sip or two and I felt something move and just like that it was gone.
But I just lost a good chunk of my Sunday so I think I'll have a quick nap and save the rest of the meal for dinner. But also, I need to decide if I want to finish my RC and beer. But yeah, if you ever have food stuck partway down but you can breathe OK, have a cola. Maybe a sip of some kind of cooking oil too. Scientifically, I shouldn't have tried both, but I'm not going to try to recreate the situation for further research.
So I did what anyone does in the 21st century: Hit Google. Apparently it's a fairly common thing and apparently I'm in the prime demographic to experience it. The #1 cure (even used in ERs)? Drinking cola. "Or other carbonated beverage." Since I already had a beer open, I thought I'd give that another shot. It worked. A little. But not in a fun way. I managed to retch a little chunk up. So I went to get an RC cola out of the fridge. While I was out there I had a sip of olive oil too. Butter was one of the suggestions on one site, working as a lube. I figured olive oil was a better option. Then I headed back to the bathroom and took a sip of RC. And just a sip or two and I felt something move and just like that it was gone.
But I just lost a good chunk of my Sunday so I think I'll have a quick nap and save the rest of the meal for dinner. But also, I need to decide if I want to finish my RC and beer. But yeah, if you ever have food stuck partway down but you can breathe OK, have a cola. Maybe a sip of some kind of cooking oil too. Scientifically, I shouldn't have tried both, but I'm not going to try to recreate the situation for further research.
