CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
(The housemates are having a party. Everyone but Lesley and Shabnam are dancing.)
Tracey: AVIT!!!!!!!!
Shabnam: Yeah I'm like a really strong, really confident, really beautiful and strong person with strong hair and I wear the same dress every day for some reason and do you think I'll get deals when I go out!?
Lesley: My dear girl, you'll get WHAT YOU DESERVE when you go out.
Shabnam: WHOO HOO!
Lesley: Quite.
(Emily, Charley and Nicky are dancing.)
Emily: Yeah, shake it, NIGGER!
Nicky: ...
Emily: Shake it you fine bootied negress from the dark continent!
Charely: Oh my God like I can't even believe you like just said that and everything!
Emily: But I call my black friends "dirty sambos" all the time!
Big Brother: This is Big Brother, could Emily please come to the Diary Room to be kicked out the show for being very silly IMMEDIATELY.
Charley: No don't kick her out because I ain't even bothered though like I'm not even bothered at all I've been called worse and everything and I ain't bothered, Frank Lampard called me a "bowl of coco pops" when we had sex and I wasn't even bothered, don't kick her out because I ain't even bothered okay, FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
(Lesley drops her head face first on the table, sobbing.)
Laura: You okay, Lesley?
Lesley: Yes dear, I'm just eating the table.
Laura: Great idea!
(Laura starts taking huge bites out the table.)
Nicky: No don't eat the table, I don't want to keep moaning about food even though all I do is moan about food or say that I don't want to keep moaning about food, but I have to moan about food here! We don't have enough food! FOOD FOOD FOOD!
Ziggy: God I'm sick of this girls ballsackness!
Chanelle: Is that a thing? Is it? IS IT?! Girly ballsacks? Can I get like girly ballsacks ON MY FACE if Carole sneezes on the toilet paper!?
Ziggy: Shut the fuck up you stupid bitch.
Chanelle: I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD!
(Ziggy puts on his hoody, walks out to the garden, sits down, puts the hood up and starts INJECTING HEROIN.)
Twins: We're twins, we're pink, we really like to think!
Charely: Do one about me, girls.
Twins: Charely, we love, you're a star, you'll go far, you're career's getting bigger, even though Emily called you a...GIGGLE GIGGLE!
Carole: ...
Tracey: AVIT!
Laura: Eww, my stomach hurts now!
(Emily is in the Diary Room.)
Big Brother: Is there anything final you have to say before being sacrificed on the altar of political correctness?
Emily: Sorry Wacky!
Tracey: AVIT!!!!!!!!
Shabnam: Yeah I'm like a really strong, really confident, really beautiful and strong person with strong hair and I wear the same dress every day for some reason and do you think I'll get deals when I go out!?
Lesley: My dear girl, you'll get WHAT YOU DESERVE when you go out.
Shabnam: WHOO HOO!
Lesley: Quite.
(Emily, Charley and Nicky are dancing.)
Emily: Yeah, shake it, NIGGER!
Nicky: ...
Emily: Shake it you fine bootied negress from the dark continent!
Charely: Oh my God like I can't even believe you like just said that and everything!
Emily: But I call my black friends "dirty sambos" all the time!
Big Brother: This is Big Brother, could Emily please come to the Diary Room to be kicked out the show for being very silly IMMEDIATELY.
Charley: No don't kick her out because I ain't even bothered though like I'm not even bothered at all I've been called worse and everything and I ain't bothered, Frank Lampard called me a "bowl of coco pops" when we had sex and I wasn't even bothered, don't kick her out because I ain't even bothered okay, FOR FUCK'S SAKE.
(Lesley drops her head face first on the table, sobbing.)
Laura: You okay, Lesley?
Lesley: Yes dear, I'm just eating the table.
Laura: Great idea!
(Laura starts taking huge bites out the table.)
Nicky: No don't eat the table, I don't want to keep moaning about food even though all I do is moan about food or say that I don't want to keep moaning about food, but I have to moan about food here! We don't have enough food! FOOD FOOD FOOD!
Ziggy: God I'm sick of this girls ballsackness!
Chanelle: Is that a thing? Is it? IS IT?! Girly ballsacks? Can I get like girly ballsacks ON MY FACE if Carole sneezes on the toilet paper!?
Ziggy: Shut the fuck up you stupid bitch.
Chanelle: I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD!
(Ziggy puts on his hoody, walks out to the garden, sits down, puts the hood up and starts INJECTING HEROIN.)
Twins: We're twins, we're pink, we really like to think!
Charely: Do one about me, girls.
Twins: Charely, we love, you're a star, you'll go far, you're career's getting bigger, even though Emily called you a...GIGGLE GIGGLE!
Carole: ...
Tracey: AVIT!
Laura: Eww, my stomach hurts now!
(Emily is in the Diary Room.)
Big Brother: Is there anything final you have to say before being sacrificed on the altar of political correctness?
Emily: Sorry Wacky!
