I have discovered another of my super powers...

[Volpone]

...I am always able to say something that I think is innocent that totally is totally inappropriate.

Turns out I've had this power for at least 20 years--maybe all my life--but certainly back in the late '80s. Once I was drinking in a bar with a friend and stated my hatred for Elvis impersonators. Turns out the guy had worked as an Elvis impersonator.

But the thing that made me realize it was a full-fledged power was this morning. My roommate has a golden retriever. And he (the dog) has lovely, long, blonde hair that he sheds and that gets onto everything. After cleaning some off my pillow I mentioned to her (the roommate) that a golden retriever would be a terrible pet for a guy with a suspicious girlfriend because she'd find the hairs and think he was cheating on her.

Well the roommate goes "That is so funny! I used to have a fiance that was cheating on me and when I found hairs in his bed, he'd blame it on my dog. Then I found a long black hair. And I noticed a pair of earrings on the nightstand.

:blush:

 

[Conchaga]

Do you and your roommate ever get it on?

 

[Volpone]

Oh, mama.

She's my age, but at least as hot as me--flat, tight little belly, nice ass, nice rack. She's a Hasher too [Hashing: A thing where a bunch of arrested development adults meet up in a bar, have a couple "hares" leave a trail of flour and, after a head-start, we try to chase them down. Along the way they will hide a case of cheap beer and you can't continue the trail until you drink it all. Then at the end there is more drinking, jokes, singing, and possibly nudity.] Our hash, in addition to leaving normal checks [an "X" in flour that says you're not on a false trail] leaves "boob checks" [and dick checks]. The wankers [guys] can't leave a boob check until a bimbo comes along and flashes her tits. My roommate's are very lovely. :drool:

But I'm a nice guy and she's got a boyfriend already. And he's a fairly likable guy, so I'm not going to make a move on her. But if they break up (or have a big fight)...:twisted:

 

[Conchaga]

I'd like to bang my hot roommate. But, I'll guess I'll just have to wait until I get one. Seeing as how my current roommate is a fat, hairy slob.

 

[Volpone]

Oh, and while I won't actively make the first move, I will flirt a bit. And I'm not above offering to make her a drink when I'm having one. If she'd just take me up on it, I'd offer to make her another. And another...:twisted:

 

[starguard]

...I am always able to say something that I think is innocent that totally is totally inappropriate.

Turns out I've had this power for at least 20 years--maybe all my life--but certainly back in the late '80s. Once I was drinking in a bar with a friend and stated my hatred for Elvis impersonators. Turns out the guy had worked as an Elvis impersonator.

But the thing that made me realize it was a full-fledged power was this morning. My roommate has a golden retriever. And he (the dog) has lovely, long, blonde hair that he sheds and that gets onto everything. After cleaning some off my pillow I mentioned to her (the roommate) that a golden retriever would be a terrible pet for a guy with a suspicious girlfriend because she'd find the hairs and think he was cheating on her.

Well the roommate goes "That is so funny! I used to have a fiance that was cheating on me and when I found hairs in his bed, he'd blame it on my dog. Then I found a long black hair. And I noticed a pair of earrings on the nightstand.

:blush:

Maybe the golden retriever was having sex with someones black lab... one that wears earings!


Hey.. stranger things have happened in life, you'd be surprised!