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If a pedophile falls in the woods...a thought exercise...OR...

Volpone

Zombie Hunter
...Is there a lawyer in the house?

This is just something I'm rolling around in my head as a thought exercise. I am not a lawyer or an ethicist. Or a pedophile, you creepy pedophile.

So. Emma Watson is old. Like, 105 by now. And the Harry Potter films are done. I've never met Emma Watson and probably never will. And she has no idea I exist, specifically. So: If I pull up that still from "...the Sorceror's Stone," where she's raising her hand to be called on, that easily googlible pic that was shown to millions of people in theaters across the globe, where she is fully clothed, if I masturbate and have an orgasm while that picture is on the laptop monitor in front of me at the time, am I a sex offender? If so, why? How am I harming anyone?

And go.
 
If you wank while looking at kitchen utensils does it make you pansexual?
 
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