Insult Generator

[eloisel]

Somebody mentioned it, had to look some up.

Found:

Shakespearean Insult Generator
Thou art a very ragged Wart.
Thou lumpish full-gorged flap-dragon!
Peace, ye fat guts!
Thou craven clapper-clawed bladder!
Hence, horrible villain, or I'll spurn thine eyes like balls before me; I'll unhair thy head, Thou shalt be whipp'd with wire, and stew'd'in brine, smarting in lingering pickle.
and, many, many more.

KCNA Random Insult Generator
You extra-large stooge, you would be well advised to behave with discretion!
You sycophantic running dog!
You imperialist stooge, your ridiculous clamour for "human rights" is nothing but a shrill cry!
You sycophantic bloodsucker!
and, many, many more.

Another Shakespearean Insult Generator
Thou roguish earth-vexing measle!
Thou churlish hedge-born baggage!
Thou churlish hell-hated whey-face!
Thou craven reeling-ripe varlet!

Here is the AutoFlamer

Do you speak any language that non-gibbering idiots can understand? Your ineffective imitation of good posting style only serves to illuminate your lack of substance, good taste, and decency.

I don't think you are a fool after reading your post, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others? I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself on the Internet. If you knew what you're talking about, you'd be dangerous. To quote Martin Luther King, Jr.: "Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity."

Most repair manuals are far more interesting than you, and far less turgid to read. Why don't you close your mouth before someone sticks an apple in it? Maybe you wouldn't come across as such a jellyfish-sucking mental midget if you weren't intellectually outclassed by dead sheep; if your weren't so fat from all that cheap beer you spend your Welfare payments on that your belly jiggle is the first ever perpetual motion machine, or if you didn't have a face that could scare a hungry wolf off a meat truck. Who am I kidding? You would.

In conclusion, as your clue meter is reading zero, lets see if this registers: Get lost, creep!

and

You post in a way that makes slugs and other invertebrates look like Nobel Prize winners. You should offer your posting style to hospital operating theatres as a highly-effective alternative to unconsciousness-inducing medications.

You would be out of your depth in a parking lot puddle. Wouldn't clues have more room to fit in your head if you got rid of some of the gobbledygook in there? Well, you're certainly thoughtless; I just wish that you were keyboard-less, too. As Robert Wilensky said: "We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true."

Reading your post is less interesting than watching paint dry. If wit was spit, your mouth would be drier than a shallow well in an African heat wave. I'd get more pleasure from running my nostrils down a cactus, than reading another contribution from you. Maybe you wouldn't read like such a pathetic loser if you had enough brains to find water after falling down a well; if your weren't so fat that when you stand on the Speaking Scale, it screams, or if you didn't have a face that makes people ask: "Damn, is it Halloween already?" Who am I kidding? You would.

Finally, take a look at this map. See this little tiny island, way out in the Pacific Ocean? That's where the people who care live.

Ha, ha, ha, packaged troll.

 

[Banjo]

Nice new avatar, eloisel

 

[eloisel]

Thanks, Banjo. It suits the occasion coming up.