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Is it possible that evolution is true but God was the one who made us sentient?

CaptainWacky

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
HE COULD HAVE.
 
True. But my momma told me that my sentience began from a boost from a Dodge Dart battery via Canadian Tire booster cables. However, god could have planned that.
 
Maybe Adam and Eve were cavemen and then Caine hit Abel with a club because he discovered fire and maybe we'll discover a cave painting of God making cavemen sentient and Richard Dawkins will go "SHIT!"
 
God hit Adam and Eve with the sentience stick?
 
Yeah and the snake.
 
Only Steve Irwin may hit snakes with sticks.
 
Not any more!
 
He'll be back.
 
When?
 
God wears a beer-stained wifebeater, flipping the channels on His black and white t.v., and fingering a frayed hole in His La-Z-Boy recliner, while yelling at His wife to bring Him snacks.

Sentience is a trick of the electromagnetic buzz of His set. We are all but static.






"Mommy, what's 'butt static'?"
 
^That likely made Baby Jesus weep!
 
If you don't believe in God you're a SAP, because God is TREEmendous.
 
I believe sap is stickier than God.
I believe trees walk the earth at night in search of virgin blood.
I believe cavemen stand on the corner waiting for a shortbus called 'Oblivion.'
I believe Wacky is viewing this thread from an alternate universe underneath a patchwork quilt made of circuitous dreams and time-spanning offal.
 
Have you read the Sandman issue The Parliament Of Rooks yet?
 
Nope, not yet. Will I like it?
 
Yeah, Caine and Abel are in it.
 
"It is sometimes a mistake to climb, it is always a mistake never even to make the attempt."
 
Trying is the first step towards failure.
 
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