Jade Goody marries Mister T

[CaptainWacky]

In a shock move to prove she "ain't no racialist or nuthink" Jade Goody married black actor Mister T.

"I love him!" she said from her Malibu home. "His big shiney teeth and his watermellon underpants! The way he's always munching fried chicken! I ain't no racist! I love black cock! I even let him put it up my ass. 'It's not like it'll get any browner' I said!"

"Yeah, that's true," laughed Mister T. "But in reality I only married her to secretely destroy her life from the inside. I heard she called my white friend Dirk Benedict a no good alcoholic! He may be an alcohlic, but he's DAMN good at it!"

"What about me!?" said Reg Barclay. "What about the fact that I'm a fictional character from the Star Trek franchise!"

"What about it!?" asked Sherlock Holmes.

THE SUN SEZ

Listen JADE you might think you've won THIS ROUND and MAYBE you have won the BATTLE for now but we WILL get the EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW with you or we WILL ruin your life from the OUTSIDE and that my fat friend is a PROMISE from ME (Ruper Murdoch!)

Lenny Henry was spotted eating a Mars bar and was unavailable for Twix.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

It can't be proven that Jade married Mr.T as a cynical PR move, but it IS scientific fact.

 

[whisky]

I pity the foo

 

[CaptainWacky]

T has told her that in America it is legal to "beat the shit out of your wife with various weaponary, bitch!"

 

[Fuddlemiff]

"That dog Shilpa will fit right into my breeding program once I get back home", Jo claimed today, after dismissing Ian's excitement over the morning snow.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Yeah, the morning COCIANE.

 

[headvoid]

Lenny Henry will eventually open supermarkets and be forced to make that screeching monkey noise and say "Katanga" a lot.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I like it when he does his Glaswegian accent (the comedy arises from the fact that there's no blacks in Scotland!)

 

[CaptainWacky]

Wow this thread looks deeply insensitive (and non-sensical) in light of recent events.

 

[Dr Dave]

It was amusing.