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Context: Alan depressed and talking to Michael at the bar.
Quote: I wish I'd be at bit more spontaneous. Sometimes I feel like going out, stealing a traffic cone, putting it on my head and saying, "Look at me, I'm a giant witch."
Context: Alan in the petrol station refering to a Twix
Alan: I'd shove one in your ear, one up your nose and one up your bum, but I'd have to break into another one which I'm not prepared to do for you. But then I'd eat the other one... after I'd washed my hands.