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Late Night Political Humor

Caitriona

Caitriona

Something Wicked
Because I just couldn't resit the urge to share... ;)


From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE...

Late Night Snark builds strong bones... via Daily Kos

"The Supreme Court has ruled that with a warrant, police no longer have to knock before kicking your door in. Unless, of course, you're the Vice President of the United States and we're talking about shooting a man in the face. Then you can come back tomorrow."
---Jay Leno

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"This is a weird story. President Bush has apologized today for scolding a member of the White House press corps for wearing sunglasses because he found out the reporter is legally blind. ... Bush also apologized for telling physicist Stephen Hawking `to get off your lazy ass.'"
---Conan O'Brien

-

"I've never been a fan of amphibians. Not only do they strengthen the argument for evolution, they are nature's fence sitters. Come on amphibians, which is it...water or land? Pick one. We're at war."
---Stephen Colbert

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"[President Bush,] you were in Baghdad for six hours. You weren't even in the real Baghdad. You were in the Green Zone. That's like going to the Olive Garden and saying you've been to Italy."
---Jon Stewart


And my personal favorite....
-

"Anybody here from New Zealand? They have a big, new attraction. It's a live sex show in New Zealand. They have actual bulls mounting a simulated cow. Good to see Ann Coulter getting some work."
---David Letterman
 
I really like Stephen Colbert.
Extremely bright, and I like how he catches his guests off guard, but still remains perpendicularly relevent.
 
He's the one that claimed that Over the Hedge was actually an instructional video for illegal immigrants.
 
Nah, they are divergent paths in the wood. In their purest forms one leads to greater personal freedom and possibly even greatness and the other sends you to the bottom of a morass from which you'll not recover.

You can't save everyone, nor should you try.
 
HeroicFool said:
Leftist fuckers :P

Some are funny nonetheless, but all show their bias loud and clear.
Click to expand...

LOL, since when has there ever been any politically outspoken anyone who wasn't biased?

Politics is all about bias. It's the nature of the beast. ;)
 
It's not the bias itself that pisses me off. It's the denials of that bias and the flooding of the marketplace with the leftist agenda.

Not one of those you mentioned speaks for the right side my dear...

Jokes are well and good, but these people are all about surrender and appeasement and their tool to that end is the American public.

The only thing I can say in their defense is that they are slightly more honest than the nightly news :P
 
^ LOL, OK, I can agree with that.

I don't like it when a bias isn't acknowledged for what it is. We all have bias, to deny it is stupid.
 
HeroicFool said:
It's not the bias itself that pisses me off. It's the denials of that bias and the flooding of the marketplace with the leftist agenda.
Click to expand...
And yet you claim in *this* post we never win because we have no agenda. Typical rebulican, can't keep his own arguments straight, and never admits even the slightest mistake. I'm sure you'll worm out of this one, too.

The reality is, the 'liberal press' is a myth. I wish we had a liberal press. Then maybe they'd be more inclined to call the republicans on their repeated lies.
 
Libs do have an agenda, but it is one that they will NOT advance publicly (except for the extremist crackpots) because they want to be re-elected. So instead of debating their ideas on their own merits with the good, hard working people that make up most of this nation, they come out every day and attack the right and most especially President Bush. Logic is an enemy to the left, because in that arena they cannot prevail.


As for the press...

One can almost forget that shit smells like shit when you smell it every second of every day of your life.
 
HeroicFool said:
Logic is an enemy to the left, because in that arena they cannot prevail.
Click to expand...
I could not disagree more. As Bill Clinton said: "If people know and think, we win. You just remember that."

The right has no respect for science, history, or education. They avoid any real debate and focus on sound bytes and fear mongering. The are the party of now. The party of me. The party of greed and short sightedness and instant gratification. They claim fiscal responsibility while racking up record debts. They claim to be fighting a global war on terror, but have no desire to involve the rest of the globe. They claim to be about 'family values' when they really mean 'religious values'.

The republicans are many things, but logical is definately not one of them.
 
"[President Bush,] you were in Baghdad for six hours. You weren't even in the real Baghdad. You were in the Green Zone. That's like going to the Olive Garden and saying you've been to Italy."
---Jon Stewart
Click to expand...
I have the highest respect for comedians who go to Iraq and Afghanistan, people like Robin Williams and Al Franken. They can trash Bush all they want, they've earned the right as far as I'm concerned. Then there's Jon Stewart, safe in Hollywood. Why don't you go tell some jokes to the soldiers in harm's way, Stewart?

-Ogami
 
Ogami said:
I have the highest respect for comedians who go to Iraq and Afghanistan, people like Robin Williams and Al Franken. They can trash Bush all they want, they've earned the right as far as I'm concerned. Then there's Jon Stewart, safe in Hollywood. Why don't you go tell some jokes to the soldiers in harm's way, Stewart?

-Ogami
Click to expand...
I'm sorry Ogami, but since you've never been to Iraq you have no right to this opinion, so I am ignoring it.
 
Ah Hambil, you've been to Iraq? It's sophistry to claim someone cannot have an opinion on a topic unless they've personally experienced it.

I guess I can't have an opinion on gator rasslin', since I've never done it!

-Ogami
 
Ogami said:
It's sophistry to claim someone cannot have an opinion on a topic unless they've personally experienced it.

-Ogami
Click to expand...

Ogami said:
I have the highest respect for comedians who go to Iraq and Afghanistan, people like Robin Williams and Al Franken. They can trash Bush all they want, they've earned the right as far as I'm concerned. Then there's Jon Stewart, safe in Hollywood. Why don't you go tell some jokes to the soldiers in harm's way, Stewart?

-Ogami
Click to expand...

:wtf?:
 
Bravery counts a lot for me. So far, Jon Stewart has mocked Bush's bravery in going to Iraq, mocking the time Bush spent there. Yet I can cite two comics who were braver than Stewart, both of whom (unlike me) went to Iraq and Afghanistan, and both of whom are no friends of Bush. I know many soldiers would love to see a Jon Stewart comedy routine there, even if he didn't stay for six hours. :)

-Ogami
 
Hambil said:
I could not disagree more. As Bill Clinton said: "If people know and think, we win. You just remember that."

The right has no respect for science, history, or education. They avoid any real debate and focus on sound bytes and fear mongering. The are the party of now. The party of me. The party of greed and short sightedness and instant gratification. They claim fiscal responsibility while racking up record debts. They claim to be fighting a global war on terror, but have no desire to involve the rest of the globe. They claim to be about 'family values' when they really mean 'religious values'.

The republicans are many things, but logical is definately not one of them.
Click to expand...

Heh, I think you're confusing religious zealots with the right. To be right is to believe in certain political ideals. I don't believe in god my friend, I so hate to disappoint. As for the rest you're deep in the territory of the left.

Who is fear mongering when they start in with the "We're all going to DIE!!!! Global warming is coming!!!" Not the right. The right is all about protecting the environment, but we rarely get credit for it due to the left's stranglehold on the press and grandstanding gestures like books and movies on the dangers of global warming. We have to love Gore, that wooden freak of nature is the best thing ever to happen to the right. ;)

Consider this... 30-40 years ago you know what the disaster of the day was? There was going to be another ice age due to the pollution in the atmosphere COOLING the planet. I'll give you one guess as to which party was behind that one.

The real right is all about being fiscally responsible and that's one of several areas in which I disagree with the President. I don't agree with him on everything, just as I am sure you don't agree with all of Gore's and Clinton's rhetoric.

If the rest of the globe wants to be a bunch of leftist pussies, we don't need them. We're not going to bow and scrape for their approval, we don't have to.

If you have any specific issues you want to debate Start a thread, myself and Ogami would be more than happy to slam the arguement to splinters for you.
 
BTW...

I was in the first Gulf war... and it doesn't mean a thing.

Soldiers are not automotons, programmed with certain beliefs because they have been in the heat of battle. We do tend to the right because we see the world as it is, not as we would like it to be. However that is by no means how we all think. My, or anyone else's opinion is no more or less valid for having been in any war.

Realists vs Dreamers Is all the R and the D really stand for.
 
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