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Marriage...

I've not married him yet. But what have you got that he doesn't? Besides the ability to navigate the internet? Actually...that's a point in his favor.

But sucking is a private matter, it should only be public if money is involved.
 
1) Do you live with him already?

2) Do you live in a community property state?
 
lady_elena_wf said:
I've not married him yet. But what have you got that he doesn't?
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A wit drier than the best martini you ever had and sharper than the scissors it would take to cut a fat woman's bra strap. Dashing good looks, or at least looks that'll have you dashing for the nearest exit. And a penis the size of a sequoia.
 
Hey, there - long time since you've been around.

Why get married? Either it is the thing to do or it isn't - no halfway measures like trying it out.

Money is the biggest problem in young marriages. Two can not live as cheaply as one. Keep separate bank and credit accounts. There is your money, his money, and "our" money. If you are both working off the same accounts, you are going to get into a conflict fast. Work together on joint expenses and goals - like paying the rent and saving for a house. Work out the money issues early on before they become a problem.

Keep a date night in the schedule. Romance gets lost in the bills, dirty laundry, green beans for dinner, and the other mounds of minutiae of daily life. And, all work and no play makes marriage dull, dull, dull.

Truly, don't go to bed angry at each other. And, never get into a argument after 8 p.m. at night or you'll be up all night fighting.

Appreciate whatever each of you brings to the relationship. Even if you feel like you give more, realize that he gives as much as he can at the time. Don't give more than you feel you should to make up for him being a slacker. Just remember that people can't do anymore than they can do. Sometimes you have to put hiring a yard man, repair person, mechanic, etc. into the budget to make up for the things neither of you can or will do.

Sometimes you aren't going to like him very much. Will you still love him? Sometimes you won't be in love with him. Will you still like him? If you can't say yes to those, then don't get married. If you can, then get married and live together forever after. I won't say happily because that won't happen. Sometimes you'll hate his guts and sometimes he'll hate yours. Make a list of what you like about him and have him make a list of what he likes about you. Then, both of you learn about conflict resolution.
 
Or just stay engaged until the sex stops being fun. If you still can't live without each other (metaphorically or literally, take your pick) after that, then get married.
 
Ms. WF, when you claim to be "trying it out," I have to wonder how hard you are willing to try. What does marriage mean to you, my lady, and in what ways do you think it will change your current relationship?
 
eloisel said:
Hey, there - long time since you've been around.

Why get married? Either it is the thing to do or it isn't - no halfway measures like trying it out.

Money is the biggest problem in young marriages. Two can not live as cheaply as one. Keep separate bank and credit accounts. There is your money, his money, and "our" money. If you are both working off the same accounts, you are going to get into a conflict fast. Work together on joint expenses and goals - like paying the rent and saving for a house. Work out the money issues early on before they become a problem.

Keep a date night in the schedule. Romance gets lost in the bills, dirty laundry, green beans for dinner, and the other mounds of minutiae of daily life. And, all work and no play makes marriage dull, dull, dull.

Truly, don't go to bed angry at each other. And, never get into a argument after 8 p.m. at night or you'll be up all night fighting.

Appreciate whatever each of you brings to the relationship. Even if you feel like you give more, realize that he gives as much as he can at the time. Don't give more than you feel you should to make up for him being a slacker. Just remember that people can't do anymore than they can do. Sometimes you have to put hiring a yard man, repair person, mechanic, etc. into the budget to make up for the things neither of you can or will do.

Sometimes you aren't going to like him very much. Will you still love him? Sometimes you won't be in love with him. Will you still like him? If you can't say yes to those, then don't get married. If you can, then get married and live together forever after. I won't say happily because that won't happen. Sometimes you'll hate his guts and sometimes he'll hate yours. Make a list of what you like about him and have him make a list of what he likes about you. Then, both of you learn about conflict resolution.
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That's some genius advice, especially the last part. My mom has always told me that in a marriage you're going to fall in and out of love, just be sure that when you fall out you like the person enough to fall in again. That was the best piece of advice I'd ever heard. I used to be terrified of getting married and then falling out of love and being stuck, I thought you always had to be dreamy in love. It was a huge relief to find out you don't.

My advice would be have your own interests as well as joint interests. My fiancee loves to golf, I hate it to the core but I love to go out with all of my friends and so while he's golfing my girls and I get to hang out, it's perfect. Together we enjoy going to the movies and taking little day trips, it's great.

However, you are young and you will change so much all throughout your 20's so a marriage could be a bigger challenge than you're ready for. I waited a long damn time to get married and I'm glad every day that I did.
 
The Saint said:
A wit drier than the best martini you ever had, and sharper than the scissors it would take to cut a fat woman's bra strap. Dashing good looks, or at least looks that'll have you dashing for the nearest exit. And a penis the size of a sequoia.
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You forgot the comma.
 
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