Mentalist Next Host at the Oscars.

[Gagh]

Today it can be confirmed that the English ex-pat, currently residing in Greece, Braun "Mentalist" Thordarsson, was appointed as the next host for the Oscars ceremony.

The billionaire recluse currently resides in his private home, an imposing structure entirely hand-built by the man himself from dead cats injected with plastic, dubbed 'The Fortress of Naked Norwegians'.

Speaking exclusively to www.hugesmurfballs.co.uk, the 417 year old Mr Thordarsson claimed he was "RIGHT FUGGIN CHUFFED, AIN'T IT, MUSHDY!".

Ming the Merciless was unavailable for comment.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I think that's a fake news story you wrote.

 

[Mentalist]

I'd love to meet this guy!

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

He can't do any worse than Chris Rock. L'CHIAM!

 

[whisky]

I think Pat Cash should do it next year, because cash is paper, and paper beats rock.

He wont be as good as Johny Cash, but hes not available.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

In that case Penny Johnson or Mike Nichols (nickles) should host.

Or anyone good named Bill. Like Murray.

 

[whisky]

But they wouldnt be paper, and you couldnt follow them up the next year with the sisscor sisters.

 

[whisky]

I do like the Bill motife though, althogh Shatner would be the logical choise.

 

[CaptainWacky]

James Dohaan should host it. They could edit footage of him from episodes of Star Trek and show it on a big screen. So someone says something rude and they play "laddie, don't you think you should..rephrase that?" and if things go out of control they play "aye, the haggis is in the fire for sure!" Then his wife shows her tits.