starguard
Unluckiest Charm in the Box
This was pm'd to me from the Internet Police. Apparently they have a file on you :huh:
and I quote:
I was like...WTF?
and I quote:
Manners had been drinking at her local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating Valentines Day.
"Woman", the bartender says, "You'll not be drinking anymore tonight".
Manners replies, "Goodness man, I'll be on my way then."
Manners spins around on her stool and steps off. She falls flat on
her face. '"Shit" she says and pulls herself up by the stool and dusts herself off.
She takes a step towards the door and falls flat on her face, "Shit, Shit"
She looks to the doorway and thinks to herself that if she can just get to the door and some fresh air she'll be fine. She belly crawls to the door and shimmies up to the door frame.
She sticks her head outside and takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better.
She takes a step out onto the sidewalk and falls flat on her
face. "Bi'Jesus... I'm fuckin' fucked" she says.
She can see her house just a few doors down, and crawls to the door, hauls herself up the door frame, opens the door and shimmies inside.
She takes a look up the stairs and says "No fuckin' way"
She crawls up the stairs to her bedroom door and says "I can make to the bed"
She takes a step into the room and falls flat on her face.
She says "Fuck it" and falls into bed.
The next morning, her Husband, Pappa Manners, comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up Bitch. Did you have a bit to drink last night?"
Manners says, "Yea I did. I was fuckin Blasted. But how'd you
know?"
Pappa Manners replied . . . You left your wheelchair at the pub
I was like...WTF?