Menu
What's new
Troll Kingdom

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Movie Critics

Conchaga

Conchaga

Let's fuck some shit up
I've never been a fan of ANY movie critic. I think they're all stuffed-shirted, self-titled movie buffs who have an opinion just like the rest of us. The problem with movie critics is that they hand the mob the answer on what to think of a film. Which means that we don't have to think for ourselves. For the most part, everyone agrees with them with little or no dissention.

Example: "Ebert and Roper gave the film two thumbs up, therefore I must go see it and like it; because who am I to argue with a 'professional' critic?"

On the opposite end of the spectrum are the critic critics. These are the ones who criticize the critics criticizms. The best part of a critics' critic is that he/she debunks the mainstream mob mentality and forces a person to judge based upon their own asthetic ideals.

Furthermore, if you don't like someone's opinion of something, form your own. Instead of flaming them for not agreeing with you and your mob. Frankly, I enjoy when a person dissents and forms a different opinion than that of the mob. Even if I think that what they have to say is the most asenine thing in the world, I appreciate their individuality and honesty in discussing their tastes.

Take the current debate in this thread. Marquis De Sade, MessengerX, and I have a somewhat different opinion of the new Batman film than what the rest of the mainstream have. It's not that we completely hated the new movie. It's that we just don't agree with the pre-ascribed notion that since it's new and "avant-garde" it is necessarily "good" or "better" than the rest.

Take the following advertising quote for example:

"Ten million Americans agree that X is the best movie they've ever seen."

Where X = what they're plugging.

Just because ten million assholes liked it, doesn't necessarly mean it's a good film or that I'm going to enjoy it. It just means that ten million assholes share the same zombified, drooling-at-the-mouth, conformist opinion.

Finally, for the philosophical crowd, take the following statement and analyze it. "Ten million Americans can't be wrong." What is inherently skewed about that statement?
 
I've often thought the very same case. Just because a critic or the majority likes something, doesn't always mean I will like it.

In this case howerver, I do.
 
joker.gif
 
But... Christopher Lee is doing the voice for Dooku....

Yeah, I guess it's not much of a selling point, huh?
 
We have free popcorn tuesdays out here if you're a member of some theaters. Not having to buy popcorn saves you the price of a second ticket. Of course, not going to the theaters at all saves you the price of having to actually go to the theaters. Gas, entry ticket(s), food, drinks... all about $40. I just say fuck that, have some patience, and wait for the DVD.

Enterainment system - $1,000
Computer to download torrent of the telesync - $800
Food at the grocery store - $10
Price of DVD - $20
Walking across the street to the video store - $0
Never having to sit in a shitty theater - Priceless.
 
I bring a backpack full of goodies. Sometimes I'll have a bucket of KFC in there. I walked past a ticket-ripper one day and the guy was like, "Shit, man. That chicken smells good." He was black, so I'm sure he could've smelt the fried chicken a mile away.
 
In case it's a mystery to anyone: The reason those concession-stand prices are so high is because the cinema itself makes next to nothing off the ticket sales. It's one of the reasons theater chains will fight tooth & nail to book children's movies --they're guaranteed food-sellers. It's also why they sometimes have a problem with you bringing in your own food.

Paying $5.75 for a 16oz Sprite may seem brutal, but you're paying those folks salaries when you do. I try to remember specific movie-house's qualities and act accordingly, i.e. if an usher refuses to speak to or get rid of a loudmouth during a show when I ask them to, or they don't keep the coffee bar stocked or the bathrooms in some kind of usable condition, I'll have no problem bringing in my Chinese takeout for a show or two, and letting them know it.
 
I frequent a lot of inner-city theaters. They're ALWAYS full of loudmouth black people screaming, "HE'S BEHIN DA DO! DON GO IN DEA! HE BEHIN DA DO!!" Most of the food quality blows goat, so I just bring my own supply. Usually, the smell of fried chicken, watermellon, and grape soda overflows the theater.
 
Ironically, if you have multiple people yelling at the screen, it can be a lot of fun, provided you don't care too much about missing some crucial dialogue. Sometimes they make a shitty movie enjoyable --especially a shitty horror movie.

It's when you get one loudmouth's commentary, or a couple gibbering a play-by-play througout, or (and this truly boggles my fucking mind) the "bad mother" who couldn't or wouldn't spring for a babysitter, so she brings in a kid or kids who are invariably fucked up in some way and manifest it through their behavior to an R-rated film, and they're screaming and asking loud questions througout, and she has no control, nor any inclination to control them, but god forbid you ask her to get a handle on them and suddenly it's OMG HOW DARE YOU VIOLATE MY FAMILY UNIT AND IMPLY THAT I'M A BAD MOTHER AND THREATEN TO CENSOR MY CHILD MY CHILD MY CHILD.

That or the bad mothers who bring in an infant to an action movie that's probably going to go over 80 decibels many times throughout. Enjoy that lifelong tinnitus, Spanky.
 
Most action/thriller/horror movies are discriminated against by the "critics", by virtue of them belonging to the aforementioned genres.

"Critics" don't seem to recognize acting talents in movies that primarily involve gunfire, screaming, flying eyeballs, et cetera. Therefore, a poorly written/acted/directed drama which revolves around "interesting" subjects like racism, homosexuality, criticism of religion/social norms is more likely to please the "critics" than very good movie that happens to have a three digit body count.
 
Archibald Nixon said:
Ironically, if you have multiple people yelling at the screen, it can be a lot of fun, provided you don't care too much about missing some crucial dialogue. Sometimes they make a shitty movie enjoyable --especially a shitty horror movie.

It's when you get one loudmouth's commentary, or a couple gibbering a play-by-play througout, or (and this truly boggles my fucking mind) the "bad mother" who couldn't or wouldn't spring for a babysitter, so she brings in a kid or kids who are invariably fucked up in some way and manifest it through their behavior to an R-rated film, and they're screaming and asking loud questions througout, and she has no control, nor any inclination to control them, but god forbid you ask her to get a handle on them and suddenly it's OMG HOW DARE YOU VIOLATE MY FAMILY UNIT AND IMPLY THAT I'M A BAD MOTHER AND THREATEN TO CENSOR MY CHILD MY CHILD MY CHILD.

That or the bad mothers who bring in an infant to an action movie that's probably going to go over 80 decibels many times throughout. Enjoy that lifelong tinnitus, Spanky.
Click to expand...

When I was going through menopause I had a few episodes with teenagers and parents with little kids annoying the crap out of me at the theater. Three times I very sternly spoke at the people being jerks and made them reimburse me the price of my ticket and concessions to pay for me to come back when they weren't there so I could actually see and hear the movie. Twice the rest of the people in the theater applauded me. The last time, everyone in the theater got deathly quiet and the movie stopped. I had made them all very afraid and I was glad.

The moral of that story - sit near an older woman who is probably menopausal and you will either hear the movie as well as see it or you will get your money back.
 
Conchaga said:
We have free popcorn tuesdays out here if you're a member of some theaters. Not having to buy popcorn saves you the price of a second ticket. Of course, not going to the theaters at all saves you the price of having to actually go to the theaters. Gas, entry ticket(s), food, drinks... all about $40. I just say fuck that, have some patience, and wait for the DVD.

Enterainment system - $1,000
Computer to download torrent of the telesync - $800
Food at the grocery store - $10
Price of DVD - $20
Walking across the street to the video store - $0
Never having to sit in a shitty theater - Priceless.
Click to expand...

But, there is something about sitting in the dark in a big room full of strangers, crying and laughing, getting mad or scared then getting that emotional release and satisfaction. And, some things just need to be seen on the big screen to fully appreciate. We just need places that are adults only that aren't porno strip joint kinds of places.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top