Volpone
Zombie Hunter
OK.
They're making movies of everything. Having done movies based on '70s TV shows and movies of video games, it is only a matter of time before we see Minesweeper: The Motion Picture, starring Ben Affleck or some goddamned thing. But you know the movie I think they should make?
[slow fade in to a foggy moor][cue trailer-guy voiceover and etheral music]
VO: It is another time. It is another place...
[dissolve to helicopter shot of a lonely castle on a rock]
VO: A time of myth and legend.
[cut to a close-up of a sword being slowly drawn in torchlight]
VO: A time of heroes...
[cut to closeup of an arrow being knocked and drawn]
[music stops]
VO: And monsters.
[quick cut to a close-up of a hideous, screaming orc/goblin]
[music picks up into heroic Stargate/Pirates of the Caribbean theme and a series of lightning-quick cuts of action/fight scenes]
VO: From producer Jerry Bruckheimer comes a tale long forgotten...
Based on a story by Gary Gygax...
Keep.
On.
The Borderlands.
[Cut to logo, Summer 2010]
They're making movies of everything. Having done movies based on '70s TV shows and movies of video games, it is only a matter of time before we see Minesweeper: The Motion Picture, starring Ben Affleck or some goddamned thing. But you know the movie I think they should make?
[slow fade in to a foggy moor][cue trailer-guy voiceover and etheral music]
VO: It is another time. It is another place...
[dissolve to helicopter shot of a lonely castle on a rock]
VO: A time of myth and legend.
[cut to a close-up of a sword being slowly drawn in torchlight]
VO: A time of heroes...
[cut to closeup of an arrow being knocked and drawn]
[music stops]
VO: And monsters.
[quick cut to a close-up of a hideous, screaming orc/goblin]
[music picks up into heroic Stargate/Pirates of the Caribbean theme and a series of lightning-quick cuts of action/fight scenes]
VO: From producer Jerry Bruckheimer comes a tale long forgotten...
Based on a story by Gary Gygax...
Keep.
On.
The Borderlands.
[Cut to logo, Summer 2010]
