Waiting for Drukhgbs
Act I
Asshole 1 : I lament the old days.
Asshole 2 : Yes. The old days, my friend.
Asshole 1 : Remember Arachnid_03 ?
Asshole 2 : How could I forget the moment I met him ?
Asshole 1 : Hell, you still live in his shadow. I mean, before people noticed you as "Asshole 2", you were always known as Arry's lesser sidekick.
Asshole 2 : Sad, but true.
* A caravan appears, beneath the mist. A silhouette is seen, stepping out of it. *
Asshole 1 : I don't like the looks of this one.
Mysterious Character : So, till when are you fellows going to keep pretending you're actually discussing something ? Besides, weren't you the couple of dickheads who used to criticize the very thing you're doing right now ?
Asshole 2 : [STRIKE]How the fuck did he how ?[/STRIKE] ... I mean, he freakishly reminds me of Drudkhgbs.
Asshole 1 : Yes, yes, THE Drudkhgbs. The one from the old days.
Asshole 2: The good old days.
Asshole 1 : Those were the days.
Asshole 2 : In the old days, everything was better.
Asshole 1 : It's inconceivable that anything would surpass anything that has to do with anything related to the old days.
Asshole 2 : The good old days. *sigh*
Asshole 1 : And the good old times.
Asshole 2 : And the good old people from the good old days.
Asshole 1 : Especially Drukhgbs.
Asshole 2 : I loved him.
Asshole 1 : Me too. Remember when ... ?
Asshole 2 (interrupts Asshole 1, furrows eyebrows) : Get the fuck out of here, stranger. We do not welcome you in our domain. Especially not a lesser version of Drudkhgbs.
Mysterious Character : Who the fuck is Drudkhgbs ?
Asshole 1 : Someone we loved, cherished, and appreciated the humour, wit, and intelligence. Sadly, he is no longer here.
Mysterious Character : Why did he leave, then ?
Asshole 2 : Because, errrr.
Mysterious Character (interrupts) : Say hello to my little friend.
Mysterious Character (addressing his "little friend") : What have you got to say, M'dear crystal ball ?
Crystal Ball : It's not like I have against hypocrites, but dumb hypocrites certainly annoy me.
Mysterious Character : But, M'dear, don't you think you're being too harsh on the Assholes ?
Crystal Ball : Judge for yourself.
Act II
*Inside the crystal ball, images of the good old days appear. Three kids are seen playing.*
Asshole 1 : Hey Drudkhgbs. You're such a dumb cunt.
Asshole 2 : You're not even funny. LOL.
Asshole 1 : Not to mention : Unoriginal.
Asshole 2 : LOL. He's like some watered down version of Xery.
Asshole 1 : Yes. But Xery was funny at least. LOL
Drudkhgbs : Mission accomplished.
Asshole 2 : Fuck you.
Asshole 1 : Yeah, fuck you, Drudkhgbs.
Asshole 2 : Don't ever come back, you fucknut.
Asshole 1 : fucknut lul
***flashback ends***
Mysterious Character : I'm afraid our lovely chatter is nearing its end. Adieu, mes amis.
Asshole 1 : GTFO.
Asshole 2 : We're waiting.
Asshole 1 : Waiting for our friend.
Asshole 2 : Waiting for Drudkhgbs.
Asshole 1 : He's there.
Asshole 2 : Certainly. Out there, somewhere.
Asshole 1 : He is coming.
Asshole 2 : He is cumming.
Asshole 1 : The crystal ball lied.
Asshole 2 : The crystal ball is a lie.
Asshole 1 : The cake is a lie.
Asshole 2 : Objection.
Asshole 1 : Overruled.
Asshole 2 : Good point.
Asshole 1 : Noted.
* The Mysterious Character, apathetic, goes back to his caravan *
===
Epilogue
[Two years later]
Carc3 : Hello, I am Carc3. I was told about this place, and would like to...
Asshole 1 : AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.
Asshole 2 : You heard that, Asshole 1 ?
Asshole 1 : I certainly did. LOL
Asshole 2 : What. A. Loser.
Asshole 1 : Kinda reminds me of that creep that came two years ago.
Asshole 2 : Yeah, but at least that fucker was funny. I absolutely loved his antics.
Asshole 1 : True. His crystal ball was magnificent.
Asshole 2 : His caravan was epic.
Asshole 1 : He was stylish, and quite frankly, I loved him.
Asshole 2 : Indeed. Comparing him to this n33b is appalling.
Asshole 1 : I was j/k, u kno.
Asshole 2 : LOL.
Asshole 1 : wat ?
...
