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My friend has been diagnosed as Aulophoic

starguard

starguard

Unluckiest Charm in the Box
Everytime we went to parades, whenever the band started playing he would immediately go beserk, charge the marchers and go crashing through both the players and all of their instruments. After being beaten to a mindless pulp bo both the police and several spectators, he was eventually banned from taking part in any type of ceremonial events.

At first I thought this was due to a bad experience he suffered in his youth (something about being ass-raped by clown midgets). I'm not sure, but today we finally found the source of his irratic and often hostile behavior.

The Doctors have officially disgnoised him as suffering from something called Aulophobia (which is fear of flutes).

I think this is due to one of those midget guys forcing him to eat several plates of re-fried beans as a child, them ramming a flute up his ass whenever he farted, then danced to the different sounds that came out!

Well, at least we know why he acts to violently to music now. :huh:
 
Besides, I was always confused why flutes weren't a part of the Brass family instead of the woodwinds. They don't employ the use of reeds. What gives?
 
Conchaga said:
Besides, I was always confused why flutes weren't a part of the Brass family instead of the woodwinds. They don't employ the use of reeds. What gives?
Click to expand...

I think in my buddies case, the Midgets found a better use for them!
 
Conchaga said:
Besides, I was always confused why flutes weren't a part of the Brass family instead of the woodwinds. They don't employ the use of reeds. What gives?
Click to expand...

It's because they employ keywork like other woodwinds. If anything, they should be considered pipes (like pipe organs) and neither woodwinds or brasswinds.
Bear in mind, flutes used to be made from wood, and piccolos still are. And flutes are directly related to recorders, which are fixed-reed flutes with simplified keywork.

...

I just had an idea for an instrument. Hmm.
 
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I forgot to mention that my friends name is BoBo. He still cries whenever he hears flutes. He also cries whenever he hears vasoline jars opening :huh:
 
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