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My House Rules

Dual

RIP Karl 1991-2014
Due to the continued shit from various houseguests, I've typed up and printed this basic list of rules and pasted it at various points around my house. Do any of these seem unreasonable?


House Rules
Failure to comply will result in expulsion


1. Always ask permission to come over. Showing up and barging in the door is never acceptable.

2. All smoking must occur outside. Dispose of your cigarette butts in a garbage can after they have been put out.

3. Never leave trash around my house.

4. Ask before eating my food or drinking my drinks.

5. Never steal anything. This includes lighters.

6. Maintain an appropriate indoor volume. My neighbours are average American families.

7. Clean up any mess you make or contribute to making. Period.

8. What happens here stays here.

9. No bullshit. I'm your host; be respectful.

10. You may not go upstairs without my permission.

11. Respect these rules and we won't have any problems. Violate them and you're out.
 
1. Always ask permission to come over. Showing up and barging in the door is never acceptable.
Sounds fair, but are you sure you can teach your cats to make an appointment first?

2. All smoking must occur outside. Dispose of your cigarette butts in a garbage can after they have been put out.
Believe me, you would think about this some more if you had ever smelled a garbage can fire before.

3. Never leave trash around my house.
Absolutely reasonable. They bring their women along, they can as well leave with them.

4. Ask before eating my food or drinking my drinks.
Ah, no need for that. Just place a three-months-old jug of milk and a mushroom-laced chocolate bar at a strategically well-chosen place. Voilà, problem gone.

5. Never steal anything. This includes lighters.
Oh come on. That's clearly in violation of the Unwritten Rules of Houseguests set in place some time around 10,000 BC. That's just too much to ask.

6. Maintain an appropriate indoor volume. My neighbours are average American families.
[whine]Ahhh duuuude... Slayer without vibrating window glass just doesn't work! [/whine]

7. Clean up any mess you make or contribute to making. Period
Babbitt.

8. What happens here stays here.
Ok, can't find anything wrong with that.

9. No bullshit. I'm your host; be respectful.
LOL!

10. You may not go upstairs without my permission.
You should add "unless you are a hot, perfect looking chick of legal age who just happens to be interested to have wild sex with me." Believe me, it's in your best interest.
 
Somehow I knew you'd say that ;)

If you go into the thread, scroll up until you see the bar with
"View first posts", "Thread tools", "search this thread".
Click Thread tools, you should see the option "Edit thread"
Click it, then you can change the title.

If you can't, it's a mod thing, so we have just witnessed either a goof-up from an admin, or you have been mod for about 30 seconds :D
 
You can edit thread titles within the five min edit span.

Yes, those rules are adequate.

There should be an addendum to number four.
If you drink or eat my shit, it's mandatory that you bring something of equal value next time you come over.

As for the butt situation, go to a hardware store and buy a small steel bucket.
Fill the bucket about 1/4 of the way with dirt.
When there are too many butts in the can, simply dump into trash and add more dirt to the bucket.

You can even do a medium sized bucket and not worry about the dirt, but make sure it's emptied regularly. If not, someone's bound to be a douche and toss a still lit butt into the nearly full can and then you'll end up with a blaze.
 
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