Dual
RIP Karl 1991-2014
I hate everything about it. I've been feeling really depressed lately. 
All of my friends are complete fucking losers who are just so pathetic they reflect poorly on me, a few examples:
My housemate sits in his room playing Warcraft all day, every day. Whenever I even try to talk to him, he yells, "Fuck you," and goes back to WoW.
Another one just uses me as a drinking buddy basically because nobody else will drink with him. He's a fucking retard and an asshole, too.
One who has borderline personality disorder uses me for attention while he pretends to try to kill himself.
Westin's a furry who does all sorts of disgusting shit and tries to break into my house. His ultimate goal in life is to steal my pot and have cybersex on my computer.
My most consistent friend is, frankly, a psychopath. He has some serious issues dealing with reality. More specifically, accepting that the world doesn't revolve around him. The other night, I got a text from a girl he's trying to fuck (rather pathetically at that) asking if my housemate and I wanted to hang out with her (ie if she could have a drunken house party in my home); he flipped. Then last night, he was being a pathetic asshole in my living room and my housemate sent me a text which he grabbed and read, then obsessed over the entire night because he couldn't accept him having a differing opinion.
Then there's the frat pack, about twenty fucking assholes who I help out with booze and shit. They're always disorganized assholes with payments. Sometimes, I'll have such impaired judgment that I'll allow them into my home to play beer pong or something. Always a bad idea. They completely trash everything, eat and drink just about all that I have, leave broken glass and beer spilled on my floors, bottles and cans absolutely everywhere... Then make lies and excuses to dodge responsibility for cleaning it up. Fucking cocksuckers.
I haven't had a girlfriend for over a year. It's been 13 months since I've so much as held a girl's hands. God, I'm pathetic.
I just sort of follow these stupid routines. I eat granola and yogurt for breakfast every fucking morning (this morning I broke the cycle with a sausage and cheese omelet, finally). I usually drive to Starbucks and get a five shot espresso, go to a grocery store, and wander around in a residual high stupor while sipping. After a while I'll go to class, if I have one that day, afterwards drink more coffee, cook dinner for my housemate and I, then get high again, eventually falling asleep so I can start the process again.
Sometimes I feel as if my external and internal selves are split apart somewhere. The person I am in reality is definitely not the person I am internally. I behave in all these scripted stupid little ways without even realizing it, for the most part. My mind just churns along in this emo existentialist shit while my life stagnates.
I fucking hate myself.
All of my friends are complete fucking losers who are just so pathetic they reflect poorly on me, a few examples:
My housemate sits in his room playing Warcraft all day, every day. Whenever I even try to talk to him, he yells, "Fuck you," and goes back to WoW.
Another one just uses me as a drinking buddy basically because nobody else will drink with him. He's a fucking retard and an asshole, too.
One who has borderline personality disorder uses me for attention while he pretends to try to kill himself.
Westin's a furry who does all sorts of disgusting shit and tries to break into my house. His ultimate goal in life is to steal my pot and have cybersex on my computer.
My most consistent friend is, frankly, a psychopath. He has some serious issues dealing with reality. More specifically, accepting that the world doesn't revolve around him. The other night, I got a text from a girl he's trying to fuck (rather pathetically at that) asking if my housemate and I wanted to hang out with her (ie if she could have a drunken house party in my home); he flipped. Then last night, he was being a pathetic asshole in my living room and my housemate sent me a text which he grabbed and read, then obsessed over the entire night because he couldn't accept him having a differing opinion.
Then there's the frat pack, about twenty fucking assholes who I help out with booze and shit. They're always disorganized assholes with payments. Sometimes, I'll have such impaired judgment that I'll allow them into my home to play beer pong or something. Always a bad idea. They completely trash everything, eat and drink just about all that I have, leave broken glass and beer spilled on my floors, bottles and cans absolutely everywhere... Then make lies and excuses to dodge responsibility for cleaning it up. Fucking cocksuckers.
I haven't had a girlfriend for over a year. It's been 13 months since I've so much as held a girl's hands. God, I'm pathetic.
I just sort of follow these stupid routines. I eat granola and yogurt for breakfast every fucking morning (this morning I broke the cycle with a sausage and cheese omelet, finally). I usually drive to Starbucks and get a five shot espresso, go to a grocery store, and wander around in a residual high stupor while sipping. After a while I'll go to class, if I have one that day, afterwards drink more coffee, cook dinner for my housemate and I, then get high again, eventually falling asleep so I can start the process again.
Sometimes I feel as if my external and internal selves are split apart somewhere. The person I am in reality is definitely not the person I am internally. I behave in all these scripted stupid little ways without even realizing it, for the most part. My mind just churns along in this emo existentialist shit while my life stagnates.
I fucking hate myself.
