South Park: "Die, Hippie, Die" (Episode #127)
Originally aired: Wednesday March 16, 2005 on Comedy Central
Writer: Trey Parker
Director: Trey Parker
Guest Stars: Kyle McCullough (Voice of Unknown)
Production Code: 902
Cartman is going door to door selling his service to remove parasites. The parasites he is looking for in particular are hippies. He warns his client that if he doesn't take care of the problem, they will attract the "college know-it-all hippies." In fact those types are already in town and they teach Kyle, Stan and Kenny what the large corporations are actually doing to them. Meanwhile, Cartman has begun corralling all the hippies that he's captured into his mother's basement. Stan, with his new education has become a hippie. Cartman goes before the city council to warn them of the growing hippie problem. He tells them that the hippie drum circles are growing and are going to turn into a full music festival before long if they don't stop them now. The city council doesn't want to listen and have him thrown out. Back on the street Cartman finds out that the hippies are planning the music festival he feared, he also discovers that his friends have become hippies. Officer Barbrady locks Cartman up after freeing the 63 hippies that were locked in Cartman's basement. Cartman appeals to the mayor, but she tells him that she's already signed the permit for the music festival. Cartman screams that she's sold out their town.
Hippie Jam Fest 2005 in South Park is the largest such gathering of its kind in the history of the world and Stan, Kyle and Kenny are in attendance. Remembering what they did at Woodstock, Randy and Sharon are worried about their son. Randy makes an attempt to get through the crowd to his son, but it's hopeless; the festival is growing in size and beginning to overtake the town. The mayor regrets signing the permit and shoots herself. The citizens of South Park come to the prison to ask Cartman for his help with the hippie problem. Cartman will help, but only if they meet his demand, for a new radio controlled Tonka bulldozer (that Kyle can never own one of his own), with batteries, that he can play with in the school parking lot while Kyle is watching. They agree to his terms. It is Day 6 of the festival, and Kyle, Stan and Kenny want to know when they are going to begin "taking down the corporations." The hippies try to explain to them their ideal society, which to the boys sounds like the town they already have. The festival has grown to 14 miles in diameter and 500,000 hippies thick and will consume the town in less than 3 days. Cartman lays out his plan. To get through the crowd, Cartman plans to drill his way through the crowd, get to the stage and take over their sound system with the death metal music of "Slayer." To accomplish this he is going to need the machine he's designed built and manned by himself, a scientist (Randy Marsh), an engineer (Linda Stotch) and a black person who can sacrifice himself in case something goes wrong (Chef).
The festival is going on and the crew of the Hippie Digger is preparing to embark on their mission. They start and begin boring their way through the crowd. Still waiting for something meaningful to happen with all these people present Stan can't take it anymore and he makes his way towards the stage. Meanwhile, the Hippie Digger has stopped due to the overheating of the drill. Stan, now on stage, begins to ask the crowd some poignant questions, only to find that the crowd is clueless. Chef fulfills his role on the team to get the Hippie Digger restarted. The ship makes it to the stage and Cartman gets his laptop hooked up to the sound system and begins playing "Slayer" through the sound system. The crowd, sensing the angry vibe begins to disperse; the town is saved and Cartman collects his reward.
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