Queen's speech predictions

[CaptainWacky]

Predict statements the Queen will make during her Christmas day speech to the nation.

"Brexit. I don't really give a shit? I'm still rich."

"Still not dead, Charles, you mook!"

"Nintendo had a good year, eh?"

"I kind of agree with what Angela Lansbury said: they really shouldn't remake Murder She Wrote."

"Please remember this Christmas to pray to the baby Jesus to keep the Diana Zombie at bay, lest she feed on the flesh of the innocent once more."

"Anyone else fucking sick of 'Fairytale of New York'? We fucking get it by now, play something else."

"It's been a hard year, what with having to explain to Philip that no, Meghan isn't just 'very well tanned'..."

"I think I liked Twin Peaks? I don't know, some of it was definnitely good, but there were other parts I didn't get but I feel like if I asked someone to explain they'd just think I'm dumb so I pretend I understood them. Charles fucking loved it."

"I'm not really saying these words. It's all in your head. There is no Queen. There never was. Goodbye forever."

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

"Meghan's kind of a minge, but we don't care as much since Harry's a ginger and obviously of the Devil."

 

[CaptainWacky]

"GLURRRGH." -The Queen choking on corgi shit

 

[The Tomtrek]

It's going to be 15 minutes of her showing off her favourite Breath of the Wild moments and then unlocking the motorbike on camera.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

Decisive, indisputable national verdict on The Last Jedi. “Needed more Ken Barlow off of Corrie”.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

"I'm so over all this pomp and circumstance, so I'm retiring. But rather than let Charles have the throne now, I'm going to twist his tits one final time and let Claire Foy serve out the rest of my reign until she dies."

 

[CaptainWacky]

"I'd have hate sex with Corbyn, yes."

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

"I'm so over all this pomp and circumstance, so I'm retiring. But rather than let Charles have the throne now, I'm going to twist his tits one final time and let Claire Foy serve out the rest of my reign until she dies."

OMG I CALLED IT SUCKAZ

Blimey! Did Queen Elizabeth Reference The Crown in Her Annual Christmas Message?

 

[The Question]

I was really hoping she'd regenerate into Peter Capaldi.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

I listened to her speech this year for the first time ever (and only caught it by accident as we had Classic FM playing), and it was actually quite good. I wonder if she writes it herself.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I just made my usual "oh we've missed the Queen" comment when I remembered we'd missed the Queen.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

I reckon it’s one of those things that’s a tradition in some households, but it’s never been in ours.

 

[Dr Dave]

Perhaps the queen has a Sam Seaborn like speech writer.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Probably more of a Will Bailey -- his father having headed NATO and all.

 

[The Question]

For some reason, I expected her to sound like Alfred Hitchcock. I was not disappointed.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I reckon it’s one of those things that’s a tradition in some households, but it’s never been in ours.

Like charades, according to tv.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

We played charades this year.

I hate Christmas.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

The played charades on Downton Abbey at Christmas. THAT MAKES IT OKAY.

 

[CaptainWacky]

We just did the traditional Satanic sacrifice.

 

[Loktar]

We had a Garfield Christmas. We ate lasagna and hated Mondays. (well we ate lasagna)