CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Commentary by Jim Ross for the Royal Wedding has been recorded in advance.
"This is it, folks! Harry and Meghan are about to get married, and ain't nobody going to stop them! Sure they're asking if anyone's going to object to the married, but that's merely a formality folks, ain't nobody going to...what's this? Bah Gawd, it's Thomas Markle! Meghan's damn daddy, he wasn't supposed to be here folks! He's walking on crutches, he broke his damn leg and is supposed to be at home...what's this? He just threw down the crutches! What's going on here? Prince Charles is going over to check on him...NO! Thomas Markle just gave Prince Charles a Stone Cold Stunner! Bah Gawd, I can't believe this! Now Prince William's running over to check on his dad...that sumbitch just Stunned William! Good Gawd all mighty, folks! Now he's jawing at Prince Philip, that' man's ninety five years old, you son of a bitch, don't you...THAT RAT BASTARD JUST STUNNED PRINCE PHILIP! I don't care how racist that old man is, he didn't deserve that! Now he's looking at the Queen...don't you go near her! Wait a minute it, the Queen's rearing back...she just slapped the taste out of his mouth! Yes! The fans are going wild, folks! But it looks like he's fixing to give her a Stone Cold Stunner too, who can stop this maniac...wait a second, Meghan's got a steel chair! She's going to save the Queen, I knew we could trust her! She's swinging the chair...NO! GOOD GAWD, MEGHAN MARKLE JUST TOOK THE QUEEN'S HEAD OFF WITH A STEEL CHAIR! PRINCE HARRY'S DROPPED TO HIS KNEES, FOLKS, HE'S CRYING HIS EYES OUT! THE FANS ARE BOOING AND THROWING TRASH AT THE MARKLES, BUT THEY JUST DON'T CARE! IT WAS A SET UP ALL ALONG! The damn yanks faked this whole marriage just to take out our royal family! They're heading over towards Harry, they're going to take care of him last, the kid's heart broken, he can't defend himself...wait, what was that sound? That growling...sounded like a noise the undead would make...IT'S THE DIANA ZOMBIE! THE DIANA ZOMBIE IS HERE, FOLKS! SHE'S COME FOR HER SON...BUT IS SHE GOING TO HELP HIM OR EAT HIS BRAINS?!?!?"
"This is it, folks! Harry and Meghan are about to get married, and ain't nobody going to stop them! Sure they're asking if anyone's going to object to the married, but that's merely a formality folks, ain't nobody going to...what's this? Bah Gawd, it's Thomas Markle! Meghan's damn daddy, he wasn't supposed to be here folks! He's walking on crutches, he broke his damn leg and is supposed to be at home...what's this? He just threw down the crutches! What's going on here? Prince Charles is going over to check on him...NO! Thomas Markle just gave Prince Charles a Stone Cold Stunner! Bah Gawd, I can't believe this! Now Prince William's running over to check on his dad...that sumbitch just Stunned William! Good Gawd all mighty, folks! Now he's jawing at Prince Philip, that' man's ninety five years old, you son of a bitch, don't you...THAT RAT BASTARD JUST STUNNED PRINCE PHILIP! I don't care how racist that old man is, he didn't deserve that! Now he's looking at the Queen...don't you go near her! Wait a minute it, the Queen's rearing back...she just slapped the taste out of his mouth! Yes! The fans are going wild, folks! But it looks like he's fixing to give her a Stone Cold Stunner too, who can stop this maniac...wait a second, Meghan's got a steel chair! She's going to save the Queen, I knew we could trust her! She's swinging the chair...NO! GOOD GAWD, MEGHAN MARKLE JUST TOOK THE QUEEN'S HEAD OFF WITH A STEEL CHAIR! PRINCE HARRY'S DROPPED TO HIS KNEES, FOLKS, HE'S CRYING HIS EYES OUT! THE FANS ARE BOOING AND THROWING TRASH AT THE MARKLES, BUT THEY JUST DON'T CARE! IT WAS A SET UP ALL ALONG! The damn yanks faked this whole marriage just to take out our royal family! They're heading over towards Harry, they're going to take care of him last, the kid's heart broken, he can't defend himself...wait, what was that sound? That growling...sounded like a noise the undead would make...IT'S THE DIANA ZOMBIE! THE DIANA ZOMBIE IS HERE, FOLKS! SHE'S COME FOR HER SON...BUT IS SHE GOING TO HELP HIM OR EAT HIS BRAINS?!?!?"
