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Russell Brand Quotes Thread

CaptainWacky

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
"Oy, mate, end austerity!" - Russell Brand to David Cameron in an attempt to end austerity

"ME PUBES, WATSON, ME PUBES!" - Russell Brand to a confused Benedict Cumberbatch on meeting him at a party

"I fucked your grandauther, Maneul! She's walking around with my spunk in her, mate! She's gone all of a quiver because of me dinkle! And I pictured Basil hitting you with the spoon while I did her! You're a waste of space!" - One of four hundred and seventeen messages Russell Brand left on Andrew Sachs' answer machine in one night while Jonathan Ross watched with an aroused expression on his face

"I FOOLED THEM ALL, I FOOLED THEM ALL, MATE!" - Russell Brand in a bath tub of money
 
"Ooooh, blimey, that Ed Miliband was an AWFUL sexual deviant, he was! He wanked his arsehole off with the spout of me massive tap after I interview him! And I'm NOT talking about the one in me kitchen! I'm talking about the one in me bathroom! Anyway, 'ere's some money, don't spend it all on crack, run along you little scamp!" - Russell Brand to a crack addict who asked him for money
 
"Don't tell 'em I pissed on your grave, Pike!" - Russell Brand after urinating on the grave of the actor who played Pike in Dad's Army. He subsequently drilled a hole in the grave and literally fucked it, but said nothing during this.
 
"Oi, dey fought dey 'ad me, innit! Dey still fink Oy'm cropped up innat Fed'rul clinkah, dunnay mate! Give 'em da slip, tho, din I! Bit a nip'n'tuck, tho, righ? Cholly Manson no moah! Now Oy'm Russell Brand, innit! Heltah feckin' skeltah, roun' feckin' two, mate!"
 
Essentially the dichotomy of the rOOOling hegemony is evident beFORRRR our FAWN LIKE erudite eyes. Laid befOOOOre us, like a prostrate prostate organ visSSScerally discoNNNected from the living soul of our societal inhibitions. It's totemic, allegoric and ultimately Self fulfilling innit?

You get me? Obvious when you saAAAY it Like THAAAAAt.
 
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He's got Charlie Manson eyes.

(sang to the tune of Bette Davis eyes)

MAYBE YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO IT, SINCE IT'S STUCK IN MY HEAD NOW :rwmad:

[youtube]EPOIS5taqA8[/youtube]
 
It's about time the truth about him came out. Hope this ends what's left of his shit career.

No, I never liked him. Always thought he was a bully and a sexist piece of shit.
 
The alleged victim, Alice, said a BBC car would take her from school to Brand's house when she was 16 and he was 30
Click to expand...

Why the fuck was the BBC driving a 16yr old girl to his house?
 
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