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****STAR SPOTTING NEWS****

headvoid

headvoid

Can I have Ops?
Yesterday I stood next to Coleen Rooney in an airport. We were both waiting for our bags on a carousel.

I can exclusively reveal she is quite short and has a Liverpool accent.

She picked up her own bag, no servants were evident.

I will update you all as I know more. In case this post goes viral can you all protect my identity?
 
I had dinner with my mother in law a week ago in a posh restaurant in London.

Alan Sugar was a couple of tables away from us. I wanted to shout TWAT really loudly at him but there were several factors that stopped me (My company, lack of drugs in my system, the venue, I hadn't eaten yet, other things). Also, my mother in law was genuinely excited about being so close to someone famous. I didn't have the heart to tell her Charles Manson is also famous.

IN a bizarre twist I held the door open for him as he left the restaurant and his wife seemed very nice. I smiled at his wife but inside my head I was shouting revolutionary anti sugar statements.

POWER TO THE PEOPLE.
 
Alan Sugar's quite short, right? He looks short on tv. You should have looked down at him with disdain as if to say "You're fired? Well YOU'RE SHORT!"

Or maybe he isn't that short I could be wrong.
 
He avoided eye contact. A little like the time I met Phil Jupitus.

I don't make this up BTW, these are all real.

I once met Phil Jupitus in a Hotel lift (It was Mal Maison cos I'm reet posh).

Anyway, it was a tiny life and he avoided eye contact so much he reminded me of a naughty kid who was made to stand in the corner. I felt like saying "it's alright mate, I'm not going to try and get your autograph or anything daft" In the end he shuffled out of the lift keeping his head down. It was generally just a bit weird.

For those Americans amongst us, this is Phil Jupitus. He's huge so it added to the weirdness a lot.

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I really amy quite impressed how he managed to make a career out of being a "funnyman" despite never saying anything funny in his life.
 
I can't stand him. Call him Phil Uranus. I'm not sure that's any funnier than or well thought out than his jokes.

I haven't seen any famous people for a little while (though last weekend I did eat a cake that was used in a scene with Emelia Clarke, bringing my total connections with her to four), but I work close to ITV's studios, so a story about a Z-lister can never be far away.
 
I never rated him, didn't like the way he would lift his arm up at the audience as if begging for applause.

If you want applause, say something funny.

I guess he is cheap, they probably pay him in hams.
 
Russel Brand walked fast past me this morning at 8.50am in Shoreditch.

He was talking intently and wearing god awful clothes. He's as intense in real life obviously.
 
Russel Brand walked fast past me this morning at 8.50am in Shoreditch.

He was talking intently and wearing god awful clothes. He's as intense in real life obviously.
 
He said "No, there IS something there for me" and pointed at his assistants pad.

(It's thrilling this thread isn't it?)
 
That "something" is probably a girl, that dog! If you see him again ask him how "Rosebud" is doing. If he looks confused say "Menty would get it" and run away.
 
I seem to have a habit of spotting people that are really not very famous at all, apart from maybe opening your local supermarket. On occasion I have hired not very famous people to open a local supermarket, such is the heady world that I travel in.

For this reason I seem to have a plethora of really quite dull stories around D list celebrities. This thread is for those, and also for others should they wish to contribute.

*SWIGS VODKA SHOUTS "BASIC BITCH!"*
 
I saw the royal family today but they were teeny tiny blobs in the distance standing on the balcony of Buckingham palace.
 
It was one of the Queen's birthdays so they planned a flypast of 30 aircraft over the palace. Unfortunately there was a tiny bit of drizzle so only the Red Arrows flew in the end. But as I was approaching the palace the gun salute was finishing and I saw the royals on the balcony in the distance. There were a LOT of American tourists.
 
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