CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Ten minutes to go before the year was over. The worst year of his life would be gone and he could start afresh. Couldn't he? He'd have to tell his mother his secret, of course. The secret that he'd been keeping from her all yeah, the secret that had been eating him up inside. He kept looking at the clock. Ten would become nine, nine eight...every moment becomes the next.
"You should have went out!" said his mother, already drunk. "Your young, you don't want to be stuck in with me on New Year's Eve!" She laughed.
"Bit late now, isn't it?" he said. "Who would I go out with anyway," he mumbled.
"What?" she said, taking another drink.
"Nothing!" he said, annoyed. She knew full well he had no friends. But that would change next year...wouldn't it? Eight minutes to go...
"I don't know what your problem is," she said. She never talked to him like this when she was sober. "Everyone else your age is out having fun!" He wanted to hit her. She could NEVER understand. Yeah, he should hit her, NOW. No, just wait it out. Only seven minutes, then everything would be okay...wouldn't it?
Fireworks went off outside. He looked out the window. This took up several more minutes. Yes, 2007 was going to be a new start it was going to be...who was he kidding? It was only going to be different if he MADE it different. The clock ticking past midnight wouldn't change anything. He'd still be in the same reality. It would just be 2007 instead of 2006. It meant nothing. Suddenly, he felt the need to start changing things RIGHT NOW, before it became 2006. He'd let enough time slip by. He span round. His mother looked amused.
"What do you look so angry for?" she asked, spilling whisky over herself in amusement.
"Mum...I'M GAY!" he said, triumphantly. "There, I said it. I FUCKING SAID IT."
"Well I know that, dear," she said, not looking in the least surprised. "I saw that porn you left on the computer that day you ran upstairs. Having a wank, were you?
He couldn't believe his ears. It was true that he had been looking at some gay porn a few weeks ago and had felt the irresistible urge to wank off. When he had come downstairs the screensaver was up and he was horrified to see the porn underneath it, he'd forgotten to close or even minimise the window. But surely if she had seen it she would have said something? He heart "Auld Lang Syne" playing on the tv. Midnight had come and gone.
"Why...why were you looking at my computer!?" was all he could manage to see, trying to sound angry at this betrayal rather than horrified that she'd known all these weeks.
"I couldn't exactly miss it, could I!" she laughed. "Go on dear, there's a new gay club in town, hurry down there now!"
"YOU BITCH! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND!" She just laughed, more and more. He was going to hit her, he was going to kill her...no, he turned and headed for the front door.
"Going to suck some cock?" she asked sweetly.
He ran outside into the night, no shoes or coat on. It was pouring with rain, the wind was blowing fiercely. He didn't care. He started to run. Where? Didn't matter. He ran along the pavement, then, in a mad moment, jumped a fence and ran into a field, tears streaming down his face. He kept slipping in the mud but still tried to run...eventually he fell on his ass and just sat there, crying. It was then that he heard his mobile phone beep. He had a text message.
"hey m8 srry havnt been in touch l8tly wud u like to cum 2 ours were havin a party, cum down n e time, seeya there, kevin"
All he could think to do was scream in anger and even that was drowned out by the fireworks.
"You should have went out!" said his mother, already drunk. "Your young, you don't want to be stuck in with me on New Year's Eve!" She laughed.
"Bit late now, isn't it?" he said. "Who would I go out with anyway," he mumbled.
"What?" she said, taking another drink.
"Nothing!" he said, annoyed. She knew full well he had no friends. But that would change next year...wouldn't it? Eight minutes to go...
"I don't know what your problem is," she said. She never talked to him like this when she was sober. "Everyone else your age is out having fun!" He wanted to hit her. She could NEVER understand. Yeah, he should hit her, NOW. No, just wait it out. Only seven minutes, then everything would be okay...wouldn't it?
Fireworks went off outside. He looked out the window. This took up several more minutes. Yes, 2007 was going to be a new start it was going to be...who was he kidding? It was only going to be different if he MADE it different. The clock ticking past midnight wouldn't change anything. He'd still be in the same reality. It would just be 2007 instead of 2006. It meant nothing. Suddenly, he felt the need to start changing things RIGHT NOW, before it became 2006. He'd let enough time slip by. He span round. His mother looked amused.
"What do you look so angry for?" she asked, spilling whisky over herself in amusement.
"Mum...I'M GAY!" he said, triumphantly. "There, I said it. I FUCKING SAID IT."
"Well I know that, dear," she said, not looking in the least surprised. "I saw that porn you left on the computer that day you ran upstairs. Having a wank, were you?
He couldn't believe his ears. It was true that he had been looking at some gay porn a few weeks ago and had felt the irresistible urge to wank off. When he had come downstairs the screensaver was up and he was horrified to see the porn underneath it, he'd forgotten to close or even minimise the window. But surely if she had seen it she would have said something? He heart "Auld Lang Syne" playing on the tv. Midnight had come and gone.
"Why...why were you looking at my computer!?" was all he could manage to see, trying to sound angry at this betrayal rather than horrified that she'd known all these weeks.
"I couldn't exactly miss it, could I!" she laughed. "Go on dear, there's a new gay club in town, hurry down there now!"
"YOU BITCH! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND!" She just laughed, more and more. He was going to hit her, he was going to kill her...no, he turned and headed for the front door.
"Going to suck some cock?" she asked sweetly.
He ran outside into the night, no shoes or coat on. It was pouring with rain, the wind was blowing fiercely. He didn't care. He started to run. Where? Didn't matter. He ran along the pavement, then, in a mad moment, jumped a fence and ran into a field, tears streaming down his face. He kept slipping in the mud but still tried to run...eventually he fell on his ass and just sat there, crying. It was then that he heard his mobile phone beep. He had a text message.
"hey m8 srry havnt been in touch l8tly wud u like to cum 2 ours were havin a party, cum down n e time, seeya there, kevin"
All he could think to do was scream in anger and even that was drowned out by the fireworks.