CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
He lies in the bath trying to relax, the water already getting cold. It's not good. He can't relax. Even if he does it will just end and he'll forget. Why do anything when it just ends. WHY.
Why does he think like this? Why does he think differently from seemingly everyone else in the entire world. He doesn't know. He punches himself. Again. Harder. He still doesn't know. It's all meaningless. Don't have a profound thought now, he thinks. He can't write it down if he's in the bath. So why think it. There's no point. Why think at all? Why take a bath. WHY.
He touches his right testicle, rolling it around. It does feel diffrent from the rest, but then again it always has. If he really had testicular cancer surely he'd be dead by now, because it's been like this for years. Why isn't he dead now? He'll die at some point. Why not now? WHY.
It's an illusion. Time, everything. Life. This bath will end. He wants to get out now because the water is cold. IT'S GOING TO END. It won't even become a memory because it's nothing. His life is nothing. How can other people have lives and he can't? WHY.
WHY THE FUCK IS HE LIKE THIS.
He has nothing. No skills. No thoughts. No talent. He's ugly. His body is weird. He might have testicular cancer. Everything feels wrong. He can't talk to people. He can't have normal human relationshis. And nobody, NOBODY, fucking understands. He tries to explain. They listen. Then they say "well, you just have to live each moment to the full!" or some crap. They don't fucking understand that he's NOT NORMAL. You CAN'T choose to be normal. He can't be normal anymore than they can be mad. He can't see the world like them anymore than they can see the world like him. Maybe they think he's just depressed. He's not. There's more. And nobody gets it. WHY.
He's never getting out this bath. He doesn't care that it's freezing cold. He doesn't care what time it is. He'll die here if he has too. No, don't. Don't think about death, he says. He doesn't want to think about the fact that at some point he'll be in pain. Such pain that he'll DIE. At some point in the future continuous this one. He'll be there for the pain. He'll die. He could be dying now. People have died younger. Why can't he get through life the way others can. WHY.
But they all die in the end. He smiles. That's something. They'll all feel pain. They'll all realise the truth. HAHAHHA. Stupid cunts. STUPID FUCKING CUNTS.
Why do your fingers shrivel up like that in the bath? He used to know.
WHY.
He gets out the bath.
Why does he think like this? Why does he think differently from seemingly everyone else in the entire world. He doesn't know. He punches himself. Again. Harder. He still doesn't know. It's all meaningless. Don't have a profound thought now, he thinks. He can't write it down if he's in the bath. So why think it. There's no point. Why think at all? Why take a bath. WHY.
He touches his right testicle, rolling it around. It does feel diffrent from the rest, but then again it always has. If he really had testicular cancer surely he'd be dead by now, because it's been like this for years. Why isn't he dead now? He'll die at some point. Why not now? WHY.
It's an illusion. Time, everything. Life. This bath will end. He wants to get out now because the water is cold. IT'S GOING TO END. It won't even become a memory because it's nothing. His life is nothing. How can other people have lives and he can't? WHY.
WHY THE FUCK IS HE LIKE THIS.
He has nothing. No skills. No thoughts. No talent. He's ugly. His body is weird. He might have testicular cancer. Everything feels wrong. He can't talk to people. He can't have normal human relationshis. And nobody, NOBODY, fucking understands. He tries to explain. They listen. Then they say "well, you just have to live each moment to the full!" or some crap. They don't fucking understand that he's NOT NORMAL. You CAN'T choose to be normal. He can't be normal anymore than they can be mad. He can't see the world like them anymore than they can see the world like him. Maybe they think he's just depressed. He's not. There's more. And nobody gets it. WHY.
He's never getting out this bath. He doesn't care that it's freezing cold. He doesn't care what time it is. He'll die here if he has too. No, don't. Don't think about death, he says. He doesn't want to think about the fact that at some point he'll be in pain. Such pain that he'll DIE. At some point in the future continuous this one. He'll be there for the pain. He'll die. He could be dying now. People have died younger. Why can't he get through life the way others can. WHY.
But they all die in the end. He smiles. That's something. They'll all feel pain. They'll all realise the truth. HAHAHHA. Stupid cunts. STUPID FUCKING CUNTS.
Why do your fingers shrivel up like that in the bath? He used to know.
WHY.
He gets out the bath.
