CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Cyril had just spend a lovely half hour feeding the ducks. He enjoyed feeding the ducks and did it every day. Now he was heading home. It wasn't a long walk. He didn't like being out much, unless he was with his duck friends. He prefered being inside with his tv and computer. They were all he needed.
He walked along the path home, there didn't seem to be anyone else about. He liked it. Then, he heard coughing. Not just a normal cough, but a very loud, impossible to ignore one. He turned his head around instinctively.
Four young men were behind him. They all looked very amused by him, when he looked at them. He quickly turned his head back and kept on walking. There was nothing he feared more than sneering youths.
He heard the coughing again. Loud, mocking, not a real cough at all. The obvious intent was to scare him. But, it occured to Cyril that this was really quite pathetic. They were trying to scare him by coughing loudly. Coughing loudly! He realised how absurd it had been for him to feel scared. He kept on walking, not turning to look again and also making a point not to increase his speed. He wanted to show them he wasn't scared.
The cough came again. This time he was sure he heard the word "faggot" mingled in with it. He was nearly at the end of the path, where it exited into a residential area. He was in no danger at all. He did something that surprised ever himself. He turned round and said "do you want something?"
"Whit!" said one of the youths. "No, we don't want anything from you!"
"But you want to bum us, don't you, pal!" said another. The other three laughed. They seemed to be waiting for him to respond.
"No thanks," said Cyril, amazed at how clearly he managed to speak. "I don't fancy any of you."
Two of them actually laughed. A third looked like he was going to laugh, but stopped when he saw that the other boy, who seemed to be the leader, did not look amused. "You giving us cheek you old bastard?" he asked. Cyril was only 39, but he was balding and he supposed he could look older than his years. He never really thought of himself in terms of his age.
"No, no," he said, as the youth stared at him menacingly. "No cheek," he added, lamely. Perhaps this hadn't been such a good idea after all. He turned to walk away.
"Aye, where the fuck you going, we're not finished yet!" the leader was shout. "Fucking old..." but he stopped. There was another youth standing at the top of the path and he wouldn't let Cyril past.
"Excuse me," said Cyril, trying to move around him.
"Should I let him past?" this fifth youth shouted over to the leader, who was now very close, he three friends following behind.
"Not yet," said the leader. "First I want to know something."
"Oh...okay...right," said Cyril. The fifth kept stepping in front of him, even when he stood completely still. Had he been waiting the whole time, to ambush Cyril?
"I see you walking by my house every day," said the leader. "Then you come back about half an hour later. Where do you go?"
Cyril tried to speak but no words came out. He wanted to just tell them that he went to feed the ducks, but what would they do? They'd laugh, certainly, but would that be the end of it? "I go and wank in the woods," said Cyril.
"WHIT!" said the leader. All five looked at each other. What had possessed Cyril to say such a thing?
"That's right!" he said again, trying to back away. "I wank in the woods and spend my seed in the forest floor! What, you never do that?" He felt giddy. He felt insane. Then, seeing an opening, he ducked around the fifth youth, who made a grab at him but hesitated.
"Don't touch him, you'll catch AIDS!" one of the others said. Cyril kept walking now, the five of them following behind him, curiously. There were houses all around him, they wouldn't try anything...but now it occurded to him that they were probably trying to see where he lived. He walked straight down the driveway of the nearest house and went into its back garden. They didn't follow.
Five minutes later he walked back out again. It was lucky he'd known those neighbours were away on holiday. He went back to his own house. He laughed to himself as he went, laughed that he'd used the phrase "wank in the woods." He wondered if there were any other duck ponds he could visit. He wondered if maybe he could start wanking in the woods instead. Why not! He could do anything!
He walked along the path home, there didn't seem to be anyone else about. He liked it. Then, he heard coughing. Not just a normal cough, but a very loud, impossible to ignore one. He turned his head around instinctively.
Four young men were behind him. They all looked very amused by him, when he looked at them. He quickly turned his head back and kept on walking. There was nothing he feared more than sneering youths.
He heard the coughing again. Loud, mocking, not a real cough at all. The obvious intent was to scare him. But, it occured to Cyril that this was really quite pathetic. They were trying to scare him by coughing loudly. Coughing loudly! He realised how absurd it had been for him to feel scared. He kept on walking, not turning to look again and also making a point not to increase his speed. He wanted to show them he wasn't scared.
The cough came again. This time he was sure he heard the word "faggot" mingled in with it. He was nearly at the end of the path, where it exited into a residential area. He was in no danger at all. He did something that surprised ever himself. He turned round and said "do you want something?"
"Whit!" said one of the youths. "No, we don't want anything from you!"
"But you want to bum us, don't you, pal!" said another. The other three laughed. They seemed to be waiting for him to respond.
"No thanks," said Cyril, amazed at how clearly he managed to speak. "I don't fancy any of you."
Two of them actually laughed. A third looked like he was going to laugh, but stopped when he saw that the other boy, who seemed to be the leader, did not look amused. "You giving us cheek you old bastard?" he asked. Cyril was only 39, but he was balding and he supposed he could look older than his years. He never really thought of himself in terms of his age.
"No, no," he said, as the youth stared at him menacingly. "No cheek," he added, lamely. Perhaps this hadn't been such a good idea after all. He turned to walk away.
"Aye, where the fuck you going, we're not finished yet!" the leader was shout. "Fucking old..." but he stopped. There was another youth standing at the top of the path and he wouldn't let Cyril past.
"Excuse me," said Cyril, trying to move around him.
"Should I let him past?" this fifth youth shouted over to the leader, who was now very close, he three friends following behind.
"Not yet," said the leader. "First I want to know something."
"Oh...okay...right," said Cyril. The fifth kept stepping in front of him, even when he stood completely still. Had he been waiting the whole time, to ambush Cyril?
"I see you walking by my house every day," said the leader. "Then you come back about half an hour later. Where do you go?"
Cyril tried to speak but no words came out. He wanted to just tell them that he went to feed the ducks, but what would they do? They'd laugh, certainly, but would that be the end of it? "I go and wank in the woods," said Cyril.
"WHIT!" said the leader. All five looked at each other. What had possessed Cyril to say such a thing?
"That's right!" he said again, trying to back away. "I wank in the woods and spend my seed in the forest floor! What, you never do that?" He felt giddy. He felt insane. Then, seeing an opening, he ducked around the fifth youth, who made a grab at him but hesitated.
"Don't touch him, you'll catch AIDS!" one of the others said. Cyril kept walking now, the five of them following behind him, curiously. There were houses all around him, they wouldn't try anything...but now it occurded to him that they were probably trying to see where he lived. He walked straight down the driveway of the nearest house and went into its back garden. They didn't follow.
Five minutes later he walked back out again. It was lucky he'd known those neighbours were away on holiday. He went back to his own house. He laughed to himself as he went, laughed that he'd used the phrase "wank in the woods." He wondered if there were any other duck ponds he could visit. He wondered if maybe he could start wanking in the woods instead. Why not! He could do anything!
