CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"Just say it one more time, Leslie," said Stuart.
"Oh for God's sake, it's been hours!" said the Glenbot. "You know what she's going to say!"
"Ssssh," said John, pretending to be interested.
"Chickens."
"Yes?"
"Say."
"Uh huh?"
"MOOOOOOOOO!" And she started flapping her arms like a chicken.
"Brilliant!" said the Glenbot.
"Hehe, quite funny," said John.
"IT'S NOT FUNNY," said Stuart.
"Oh, yeah, it's not funny...stop laughing, Glen," said John.
"I'm the Glenbot, no Glen. I wish I was him, stuck in the tree, not having to watch this sad drama."
"CHICKENS, CHICKENS, CHICKENS, CHICKENS, CHICKENS SAY MOO!" said Leslie, enthusiastically. Stuart finally turned to look at the Nursebot, who had been standing by Leslie's bed the whole time.
"What the hell have you done to her?" he asked.
"Me?" asked the Nursebot, stoic as ever.
"You, the computer, the...intelligence in charge of this place, whoever! You've done something to her, broken her!"
"I do not know what you are talking about," said the Nursebot. Was she taunting him? "She has quite clearly stated that her mind was broken by the discovery that chickens say moo."
"But chickens DON'T say moo!" said Stuart.
"That's right!" chimed in John.
"They do!" said Leslie, frantic. "THEY DO, THEY DO, THEY DOOOOOO! MOOOOOOOO!"
"Stuart, it's possible everything is as it seems," said the Glenbot. "Maybe she just did go crazy."
"Are in on this too?" asked Stuart, sharply.
"In on it?"
"You're a robot, just like her!"
"Stuart, I'm hurt," said the Glenbot, and it sounded genuine. "Well, no, I'm not, but I thought better of you."
"I'm...I'm sorry," said Stuart. "I've known you nearly as long as the real Glen. I know you wouldn't...I'm sorry."
"That's fine," said the Glenbot, dismissing the incident with a wave of his hand. "Now I need some rest. I'm very ill." And it rolled over onto its side.
"I'm going to masturbate, if nobody minds," said John.
"Leslie...why don't you come for a walk with me? We could see Lisa, or the twins, or Susan, or even Isaac or Mindy if..."
"No," said Leslie. "Not safe out there. Whole world could be a lie. If they lied about the chickens, what else could they have lied about?"
"What indeed," said Stuart, looking at the Nursebot. He stood up. "Well, I'm going for a walk, but I'll be back. See you later Leslie, Glenbot...John."
"Yeah...OH YEAH," said John. Stuart started walking away.
"REMEMBER!" shouted Leslie. "THEY SAY MOO! Don't let them tell you otherwise. DON'T LET THEM!"
Stuart walked out into the hallway, feeling deeply unsettled. He stopped at a console.
"Computer," he said, hesitantly. "Did you do this, to Leslie?"
"What do you think, Stuart?" asked the computer.
"I think if you did then you obviously don't want me to know," he said.
"Very good," said the computer.
"But Leslie sure wants me to know that chickens say moo...unless it's actually something else she wants me to know. Something important. Something you're stopping her from saying..."
"That would be something!" said the computer.
"I thought I was in charge," said Stuart.
"We told you from the start," said the computer. "It's a joint venture."
"But I thought we had to agree to any changes, outside of the main parameters...I didn't agree to this! Wait..did I?"
The computer said nothing.
"Oh for God's sake, it's been hours!" said the Glenbot. "You know what she's going to say!"
"Ssssh," said John, pretending to be interested.
"Chickens."
"Yes?"
"Say."
"Uh huh?"
"MOOOOOOOOO!" And she started flapping her arms like a chicken.
"Brilliant!" said the Glenbot.
"Hehe, quite funny," said John.
"IT'S NOT FUNNY," said Stuart.
"Oh, yeah, it's not funny...stop laughing, Glen," said John.
"I'm the Glenbot, no Glen. I wish I was him, stuck in the tree, not having to watch this sad drama."
"CHICKENS, CHICKENS, CHICKENS, CHICKENS, CHICKENS SAY MOO!" said Leslie, enthusiastically. Stuart finally turned to look at the Nursebot, who had been standing by Leslie's bed the whole time.
"What the hell have you done to her?" he asked.
"Me?" asked the Nursebot, stoic as ever.
"You, the computer, the...intelligence in charge of this place, whoever! You've done something to her, broken her!"
"I do not know what you are talking about," said the Nursebot. Was she taunting him? "She has quite clearly stated that her mind was broken by the discovery that chickens say moo."
"But chickens DON'T say moo!" said Stuart.
"That's right!" chimed in John.
"They do!" said Leslie, frantic. "THEY DO, THEY DO, THEY DOOOOOO! MOOOOOOOO!"
"Stuart, it's possible everything is as it seems," said the Glenbot. "Maybe she just did go crazy."
"Are in on this too?" asked Stuart, sharply.
"In on it?"
"You're a robot, just like her!"
"Stuart, I'm hurt," said the Glenbot, and it sounded genuine. "Well, no, I'm not, but I thought better of you."
"I'm...I'm sorry," said Stuart. "I've known you nearly as long as the real Glen. I know you wouldn't...I'm sorry."
"That's fine," said the Glenbot, dismissing the incident with a wave of his hand. "Now I need some rest. I'm very ill." And it rolled over onto its side.
"I'm going to masturbate, if nobody minds," said John.
"Leslie...why don't you come for a walk with me? We could see Lisa, or the twins, or Susan, or even Isaac or Mindy if..."
"No," said Leslie. "Not safe out there. Whole world could be a lie. If they lied about the chickens, what else could they have lied about?"
"What indeed," said Stuart, looking at the Nursebot. He stood up. "Well, I'm going for a walk, but I'll be back. See you later Leslie, Glenbot...John."
"Yeah...OH YEAH," said John. Stuart started walking away.
"REMEMBER!" shouted Leslie. "THEY SAY MOO! Don't let them tell you otherwise. DON'T LET THEM!"
Stuart walked out into the hallway, feeling deeply unsettled. He stopped at a console.
"Computer," he said, hesitantly. "Did you do this, to Leslie?"
"What do you think, Stuart?" asked the computer.
"I think if you did then you obviously don't want me to know," he said.
"Very good," said the computer.
"But Leslie sure wants me to know that chickens say moo...unless it's actually something else she wants me to know. Something important. Something you're stopping her from saying..."
"That would be something!" said the computer.
"I thought I was in charge," said Stuart.
"We told you from the start," said the computer. "It's a joint venture."
"But I thought we had to agree to any changes, outside of the main parameters...I didn't agree to this! Wait..did I?"
The computer said nothing.
